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PJO/HoO: The Belly of the Beast, Chapter Six: I Give Directions To A Horse - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
PJO/HoO: The Belly of the Beast, Chapter Six: I Give Directions To A Horse
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From: (Anonymous) Date: September 25th, 2016 09:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Your changes made a lot sense to Reyna's characterization.

A bit funny that this universe works the opposite of HP in that magical communities can actually boost the functionality (or at least reliability) of modern appliances instead of setting them on the fritz.

That's an adorable image of them crammed into the cab of the truck, especially with that being the moment they truly have bonded as a group.
Bobby fighting in his boxers reminds me of that photo a few years back of a soldier in Afghanistan fighting in his pink boxers and body armor.

Now some quibbles:
"... was a gift from the gods faded away was replaced by the knowledge..." I take it there's supposed to be an "and" there.
"'We're going.' I realized how that sound." Last word should have an "-ed"?
Wonky comma in third-to-last paragraph.

--FFR
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 25th, 2016 09:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
The magic/technology mix is pretty neutral in PJO, though Jason's talent with electricity and all of the Hephaestus kids are helpful. (Communications, on the other hand, are screwy. Any modern quest writer has to find a way to neutralize communications, since they mess up solitary adventures in a big way. ;p)

I missed the pink boxers pic and had to go look it up. Yes, that's about the sum of it, isn't it?

I'll get the nitpicks.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 27th, 2016 01:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Haha, yeah. The increased convenience of improved communications technology has to be increasingly inconvenient for writers (slasher flicks come to mind) who have to figure a way to cut that lifeline.
9 comments or Leave a comment