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Neville Longbottom in the Garden of the Hesperides, Chapter 2 - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
Neville Longbottom in the Garden of the Hesperides, Chapter 2
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shiiki From: shiiki Date: November 13th, 2016 07:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, I really like dad!James! You've got just the right hint of Marauder-ness mixed in with responsible parenting, and I find it so amusing that he's the stay-at-home dad while Lily goes off to work as an Auror, but it makes loads of sense.

I like that Neville is still his shy, awkward, afraid-that-he's-going-to-be-a-Squib self, and what a great way to show off his accidental magic, with the vines. Harry's right--Herbology skills are magic, even if they aren't quite as showy.

I'm loving all the glimpses of you brought all the characters into this AU. They are all still very recognisable even with the timeline change.

The one nitpick I might have is the transition between these two paragraphs:

This didn't stop the adulation. Every time Augusta was forced to take Neville out, people pointed and stared and gaped at him. He was asked for his autograph before he knew how to write. People wanted him to do magic, even though he was underage, out of school, and wandless.

The lightning shaped scar on his forehead made him instantly recognizable, and he hated it for that reason. Here, in his garden, he could push his hair back out of his face, but if he went out into the world, he did his best to hide it… which often led to disapproving tuts from Gran, since she told him that he oughtn't be ashamed of who he was, that it was somehow disrespectful to his parents to hide the scar from his infancy.


It moves from 'Augusta' to 'Gran' in the next one, so it felt a bit odd moving from the third-person omniscient narrative into Neville-PoV. (Although to be fair, JKR sets us such a great example of it in PS/SS, doesn't she? :D)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 13th, 2016 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was deliberately mimicking JKR in PS/SS in that sort of "zoom-in" paragraph. Hello, POV character. :D

I figure Lily is a working class girl with an ingrained sense that she ought to be doing something for her salary, while James is from an old family where it wouldn't be unheard of to live on prior accumulated wealth and interest rather than going into a trade.
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