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And from the voices in Fern's head... (NaNo) - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
And from the voices in Fern's head... (NaNo)
Blech.

Four posts in a day, but two of them are memes, so they don't count.

Working on my NaNo novel, and here's today's dispatch from the voices in my head:

VOICES:
Oh, for heaven's sake, it took you an hour and a half in Shifts to match the word count you painstakingly hacked out in four hours in The Redeemed. And the Shifts post? Frankly, way better. I mean way better. We're not talking just a little bit. We're talking, makes four hours of work look like a dog turd, and it's honestly not that good. It's just that the other is THAT BAD.

And the worst thing, you know, is that you don't even like the story anymore. You don't like the people in it, you're not in the writing groove on it, you're just forcing yourself through it, and you know perfectly well that you're ending up with totally uninspired writing. Isn't the point of forcing a word count every day that sooner or later it's supposed to wake up? And it's not waking up, except for that half-hearted little character kick yesterday. When you're shaking the heck out of something and it doesn't wake up, the prognosis, honestly, is not good.

You know you haven't got a good original story in your head. We Voices know it as well, because, hey, we live in your head and we haven't see hide nor hair of it. So why not just resign yourself to doing derivative knock-offs from other people's work for the rest of your life? You enjoy it a lot more.

ME:
Er, because I can't get hired to do that for money unless I have a body of original work. I managed it once, but no one cares. And they already slaughtered the series I should have been hired to do.

VOICES:
Aren't we feeling a mite uppity today?

ME:
I know Anakin. I should have done Jedi Quest. And I did query with my pro credits, and they sent me a stupid "Buy our products" return letter.

VOICES:
Well, that's your problem, isn't it? Quit pouting. Did you think it actually mattered to them whether or not you can write?

ME:
Shut up. I have 1100 more words to write today. It may be bad, but it's going to be finished and bad.

VOICES:
Yeah, right.

ME:
And when I'm done with it, I'll write a fanfic of it which will be the real story.

VOICES:
...

ETA:

8,076 / 50,000
(16.2%)

I feel a bit...: frustrated frustrated

8 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
From: anatomiste Date: November 7th, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
You tell those voices, Fern!

*cheers*
sreya From: sreya Date: November 7th, 2004 05:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I didn't know you'd actually applied to try to write some of the SW books!

And it's THEIR LOSS that they didn't hire you. Actually, they were probably afraid you'd raise the standards too high for the rest of the authors to keep up. :~P

If it makes you feel any better, I've been working on a legal brief for over a month, and it's currently only 4 pages. Double-spaced. (And it's due Wednesday, so I really shouldn't be on LJ when I'm supposed to try to write more of this...)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 7th, 2004 06:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
I didn't know you'd actually applied to try to write some of the SW books!

Only at Scholastic. It was right after I'd read some of the JAs--when they first started coming out, between TPM and AotC--and I wrote to say that it seemed like a logical idea to follow up JA beween AotC and Ep3 with a series about Anakin's apprenticeship to Obi-Wan. I queried with my pro cred (admittedly, it's small). And got a fan-letter answer. Grrr.
myf From: myf Date: November 7th, 2004 06:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Can I tell you just how much I like the word 'uppity'? It's sadly underused.

To add to the writing woes, I've been writing my Literature Review for ages now, and I've only just cracked the 5,000 word mark. *sigh* You're not alone.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 8th, 2004 06:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I like "Uppity" as well.
narnian_dreamer From: narnian_dreamer Date: November 7th, 2004 09:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
I know what you mean. I get those voices too.

The way I've been perservering now is by telling the voices, "Of course it's terrible. The first draft is always terrible. I'm still feeling out the characters and exploring the plot outline. But once I get this thing written and see exactly where I'm going, I'm going to delete, add, move, and rewrite like you wouldn't believe, and it's going to be brilliant!"

I'm also not allowing myself to reread anything until the first draft is done. So far it's working. There hasn't been anything that I've written and thought, "Wow, this sounds good!", but there's been quite a few places at which I've thought, "Wow! I wasn't expecting this character to show up here. I've been trying to get myself really excited about what I'm learning about the story and trying to ignore the actual writing.

The second draft is for the voices. Until then, tell them to STFU and keep writing. I want to read this when it's published!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 8th, 2004 06:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. My problem is that I don't generally do "drafts," per se. My habit is to turn things out as clean as I can and go back to tweak spelling (and Britfix, HP-wise), maybe put in some explanatory stuff if things weren't clear. Even the novel I did, I only ended up with a couple of spelling tweaks and an instruction from an editor to change a couple of POVs, because I had too many (she was right). This whole "write a junky first draft" thing is a totally new style of writing for me!
atropos87 From: atropos87 Date: November 8th, 2004 05:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Take the enclosed, prod the Voices until they shut up and carry on.

*does NaNoWriMo participant supportive cheer-y-thing*
8 comments or Leave a comment