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Hmmm... - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
Hmmm...
Okay. Chapter Ten of Shifts is up at SQ, with a little bit of clarifying that the prank on Narcissa devolved--to Sirius's annoyance--into the visit to Joe by Dora and Andromeda. I tweaked something else, but I can't remember what.

Anyway, a couple of the comments there and a couple in the original post here made the assumption that Andromeda was uncomfortable with the idea of Remus dating Dora because he's a werewolf. That's emphatically not something I mean to imply--Andromeda has any number of issues, but she has nothing against werewolves in particular; her issue with the relationship is, as Remus's, the age difference (along with the added squick that someone she trusted to take care of her child now may have a sexual interest in her)--and I'd like to figure out how to avoid it. The scene was mostly there to show that it wasn't only people joking about their relationship or people for whom they were performing who noticed that something was starting to change. I deliberately didn't have Remus make the assumption because it would be outside of his frame of reference for Andromeda, but I'm not sure what it is in the exchange that's screaming antilycanthropism... any advice on how to be clearer, or should I just let it lie?


Andromeda looked away uncomfortably. "Remus... may I ask you something? I don't want to ask Nymphadora, because she'd never let it go, and I just want to know one way or the other..."

Remus, baffled, said, "What is it?"

She looked over vaguely, then looked down at the sleeping cat on her lap. "This business with you and Dora being together... is it just a part of the act?"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter, one way or the other," Andromeda said quickly. "Really. I just--"

"It's part of the act," Remus said blankly.

Andromeda sighed with relief. "Oh, good. I mean... I mean, oh, good. I just wasn't sure. And I'm not sure I'm quite ready to deal with
that."

Remus blinked at her, not having the faintest idea what he was supposed to say to that particular declaration.

"Like I said, though, I just wanted to know. Don't tell Dora that I asked. It was just a thought I couldn't quite ignore, and--"

"It's part of the act," Remus said again.

"Right. Then that's that." She smiled nervously. "Ted jokes about it, you know."

"I know. So does Sirius. I'm just surprised you believed it."

"I didn't. I just couldn't quite ignore it. I know how fond you are of one another, and... well... it doesn't matter. Part of the act."

"Part of the act, yes."
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Comments
alphabet26 From: alphabet26 Date: January 18th, 2005 08:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
"I know. So does Sirius. I'm just surprised you believed it."

If you want to clarify that they're discussing age, maybe you could put something like, "I know. So does Sirius--he calls me 'old man.' I'm just surprised you believed it."

On the other hand, the idea that Andromeda was anti-werewolf never occurred to me when I was reading it originally, and even now, I still don't see it. So leaving it alone works just as well, too.
persephone_kore From: persephone_kore Date: January 18th, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I suspect it of being something that readers assume will come up in any of Remus's relationships and therefore read in where it wasn't intended, especially if they haven't realized how close the friendship is and has been. On the other hand, they may be somewhat influenced also by its occurrence in the chapter leading up to the full moon. Possibly "She's still so young" from Andromeda or "I used to babysit her!" from Remus -- though if someone's really stuck on the idea, they can and will read this as some sort of camouflage on both parts.
marycontraria From: marycontraria Date: January 18th, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
The werewolf spin never even occurred to me when I first read it... nor when I read the conversation between Remus and Andromeda in one of the most recent sections abotu how it's not part of the act anymore. I think it's fine if you leave it.
kizmet_42 From: kizmet_42 Date: January 18th, 2005 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have to agree. I never thought it was anything but age issues and the fact that Andromeda thinks of Remus as her peer, and not as Dora as an adult in Chapter 10. That makes this chapter more insightful to me when Andromeda says that Dora's grown up in to a wonderful person. Getting to the point where your mother recognizes you as an adult is a significant moment.

I'm afraid that if you were to bring it in somehow, it would create the suspicion in the readers' minds that it is Andromeda's issue. Remus would know if she had problems with his lycanthropy - would have known years before. Dora would have never been left in Remus' care if Andromeda has a problem with werewolves. You'd end up having to fight the inference that the reader would make from what you'd written.

My thought: let the sleeping dog lie.

(BTW, I thought I'd posted about how lovely it was to read Chapter 10 on SQ and see how delightfully you've tied up this particular thread in the story in your LJ. If I forgot to hit the post comment button, not an uncommon practice for me, let me tell you again how much more I appreciate your deft ability to handle the development of your characters and their relationship/reaction to each other. I especially found it charming that neither Andromeda or Remus knew what word to describe him. And that Dora and Remus are comfortable enough with each other that she can throw herself into his arms for a longed-for kiss and he's not shy about returning it. He understands her totally unself-conscious statements about marriage and babies without any apparent concern that she's pressuring him, but she's simply being herself. I used charmed already in this paragraph, so I ought not to use it again, but it exactly how I felt, book-ending the horror of Narcissa's actions.
azaelia_culnamo From: azaelia_culnamo Date: January 18th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
I never thought of it like that either - but then again, I just wouldn't think of Andromeda as anti-Werewolf anyway. If she willingly left her family for a muggleborn (Ted), she's obviously very open to differences. Granted, it's possible she would be against Werewolves anyway in canon - but it doesn't seem like your version of Andromeda would be.
She seems too logical. And besides, Dora would never forgive her!


likeafox From: likeafox Date: January 18th, 2005 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd say don't change it. I know I didn't think that at all when I first read the scene, and anything added along the lines of "I'm/you're too old for her" would seem IMO a bit forced. (I also think you have the perfect amount of Remus thinking "I can't believe I feel this way about Doray and adding some more into this scene might push it over the edge, but again, that's just me.)

:)
likeafox From: likeafox Date: January 18th, 2005 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
And that's supposed to be Dora. *head desk*
sannalim From: sannalim Date: January 18th, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ditto everyone else who said it's fine the way it is. If you've got readers reading Andromeda being antilycanthropic into it, that's their hang-up, not your Andromeda's.
mrs_who From: mrs_who Date: January 18th, 2005 10:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yea! This bit was FAB, I'm tickled to see some heavily-theorized (on my part) plot points reveal themselves. :)

Unless you added it into Andromeda's stream-of-consciousness-ramblings -- "It doesn't matter, one way or the other," Andromeda said quickly. "Really. It's just that... well, we're friends, you and Ted and I...and she was your..." and/or Andi could have said "And I'm not sure I'm quite ready to deal with my daughter dating her old... not that you're old, of course..."

Nah. On second thought leave it be. I think it's fine the way it is.

You're brilliant. I just love your stuff! :)
queenrikki_hp From: queenrikki_hp Date: January 18th, 2005 10:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure how you could be more clear. I thought, in the context of the scene (and the history that you have established between the two characters), that it was likely that she was uncomfortable with the age gap rather than the the lycanthropy. Though to be fair, it's not unreasonable that some would have an objection to their daughter becoming involved with a werewolf, I just don't see that in t
From: isabela113 Date: January 19th, 2005 05:13 am (UTC) (Link)
That scene seemed clear to me. We already know that Andromeda, Ted and Remus were at school together, so it makes sense that she is feeling odd about him possibly being involved with her child.

On the other hand, the concern of most Remus/anyone fic is the fact that he is a werewolf. Maybe that is just what people expect.
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