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The WIP meme - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
The WIP meme
from lessthanpie

Random stories I have in progress, presented in impatient script format.

The Grey Eyed Boy
Tonks: Boy, sorry I missed the Tri-Wizard Championship
Amos Diggory: *Sniffs*
Tonks: Oops.
Kingsley: Cedric's dead
Tonks: No way!
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashback)
Hogwarts Tonks: Hi, I'm Hogwarts Tonks.
Little Cedric: Hi, I'm Little Cedric.
Hogwarts Tonks: You'll like Hufflepuff.
Little Cedric: Yup, think so.
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashforward)
Kingsley: Got it?
Tonks: Huh?
Kingsley: Cedric, dead. Moody, totally a prisonor all year. Oh, and Harry Potter says your cousin Sirius is innocent.
Tonks: *blows wheels*
Kingsley: Maybe you better take the day off.
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashback)
Little Cedric: Tonks, come quick!
Hogwarts Tonks: I'm not an Auror yet, but boy do I act like one. Point me to danger. I'll try not to trip.
Percy Weasley: Wah. They're burning my rat.
Tonks: Knock it off.
Peter: Go to sleep, and as soon as you don't hear me, I'll tell you everything and you'll just think it's a psychodelic dream.
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashforward)
Tonks: Boy am I confused. I'd better go to Hogwarts, because that's where confused people go.
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashback)
Little Cedric: I'm all happy and my dad is reasonably accepting of my outing as a Hufflepuff.
Hogwarts Tonks: Yay! What a great little kid you are.
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashforward)
Tonks: Professor Dumbledore, there's no reason to think this from canon, but hey, I'm joining the Order and risking my job over Cedric. And is that big dog in your office my cousin?

Barefoot in the Moonlight
Sirius: Gosh I'm bored. I'll go charm everything in sight and everyone will be happy. I'll wear James's cloak.
Andromeda: I love funny Muggle ideas about witches, and by the way Ted, let's get married next week.
Ted: Ummm...
Sirius: What do you mean? I thought you'd stay with me!!!
Andromeda: What are you doing sneaking around?
Sirius: *stalks off*
Andromeda: (days later) Oh, woe. My family has found out and they've posted a guard.
Sirius: Oh, shoot, I better do something.
James and Lily: At your service.
Lily: Wait, I'm not friends with you yet.
Sirius: It's for Andromeda and Ted.
Lily: Oh, all right then.
James and Lily: Stage a fight to distract the Blacks.
Sirius: Andromeda, I have a cloak. Let's sneak out through the Shrieking Shack, as there's no werewolf there just now. We'll pick up Ted on the way.
Andromeda: You're my favorite cousin.
Ted: You're my favorite cousin-in-law.
Sirius: Aw, shucks, folks.


Purity of Blood
Dumbledore (to Wizengamut): Are you people nuts? Her baby is Slytherin's heir. Could be kinda stupid to send him off to AN ORPHANAGE.
Random Malfoy: You were probably sleeping with her.
Dumbledore: *ignores him* We'll pay for this. There are at least seven more books.
(squiggly lines and doodle-oop music to flashforward)
Little Tom: Why did you look at me funny while I was being Sorted old man?
Dumbledore: Oh, no reason. You look like your Mum, who was a smart woman with really crappy taste in men. And why are you staring at that portrait of Slytherin?
Little Tom: I have his nose. And his brain. Go away and leave me alone to stew in my juices now.
Dumbledore: Okay. Call me if you need anything.


A Nice, Normal Day
Vernon: Were you having a nightmare?
Petunia: I never have dreams! Ever! That's imaginative!
Vernon: Well, good then.
Dudley: Wah! Wah!
Petunia: And I certainly didn't dream about Lily! Why would I dream about Lily being dead and telling me things?
Vernon: Just so, dear.
Petunia: And there was no owl by the window when I woke up, either.
Vernon: Well, that's good. Off to work.
Petunia: I'll have a nice, normal day. And I am absolutely not completely absent-minded because I keep thinking about my no-good sister and how SHE'S DEAD AND SHE TRIED TO TALK TO ME. Because that doesn't happen. And I wish that tabby cat on the corner would stop staring at me. Diddykins, don't touch the nasty cat; it might have fleas.
Vernon: Weird day. But I think I won't talk about it, because you're scaring me.
Petunia: Good call, dear.
Harry: Wah! Wah!


Of A Sort: 1984
Tonks: I can't get my cat packed.
Andromeda: Did Dad try using magic?
Ted: Er...
Andromeda: Off to the station. *gets weepy about baby going off to school while in car; clears up* All right, here we are. Say, that's one large red-headed family near the barrier.
Charlie Weasley: Hi, I'm Charlie. I'm in your year.
Tonks: Hi, I'm Dora Tonks, but something will happen on the train that will make me force everyone to just call me Tonks. And don't call me Nymphadora.
Charlie: Sure thing.
Arthur: Say, are those Muggles?
Ted: It's a Muggle-born student! Super Muggle-born to the rescue!
Sanjiv McChatten: Hi, I'm Fern's random Muggle-born friend for Tonks. I'm actually described as being the ugly child of two pretty people, but I'm quite delightful, once you get past my face. And a dang good artist.
Tonks: Nice to meet you.
Daffy Apcarne: Hi, I'm Fern's random Pureblood friend for Tonks, as Charlie is in another house and therefore unavailable.
Charlie: Wait, we're not Sorted yet.
Tonks: Good, then we can hang out together on the train, and then you disappear off to Gryffindor while we go to Hufflepuff.
Charlie: Good call.
Sorting Hat: Please tell me Fern isn't going to do all four of these people.
Fern: *pets it* Don't worry. No more multi-Sorts. You only need to talk to Tonks.
Sorting Hat: Couldn't I have Charlie? Haven't you written enough Tonks?
Fern: No. Be quiet.
Sorting Hat: *sighs* Here we go again.

Mehadi Patil
Mehadi: Um, Fern, you need to write something before I'm "in-progress."
Fern: Shush. I gave you a part in the Lines of Descent Epilogue.
Mehadi: Oh, fine. I have twin girls. They are in the secret DADA class. I'm happy about this but mustn't say so.
Padma: Mum, Parvati and I are--
Parvati: Shush. It's a secret.
Padma: Parvati, you're very stupid.
Mehadi: Don't call your sister names. I have no idea that you're in a secret DADA class, Parvati, though I'm aware that Padma is. Padma follows rules, so it's all right for her. But you're a Gryffindor, so I absolutely forbid it, since I really want you to go.
Parvati: How dare you forbid me? I'm going.
Padma: You're sneaky, Mum.
Mehadi: I was a Slytherin, dear. I roomed with Bella Black for seven years. Learn your counter curses like a good little Ravenclaw. Parvati, I absolutely insist that you have nothing to do with Harry Potter!
Parvati: I'm a brave Gryffindor. I will do things my way.
Padma: Parvati, you're very stupid.
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Comments
silverhill From: silverhill Date: May 7th, 2004 09:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
It sounds silly when you write it like that, but reading the script I can tell how goosebumpingly well-written it's going to be. Yes, "goosebumpingly." The amazingly done human interaction in your fics gives me goosebumps. :)
mafdet From: mafdet Date: May 7th, 2004 10:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
I cannot get enough of your Tonks family. (And I'm glad to see that "Granny" will accompany Tonks to Hogwarts!) I'm awaiting the real McCoys with bated (not "baited," I hope) breath.
volandum From: volandum Date: May 8th, 2004 02:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Prisoner, surely.
matril From: matril Date: May 8th, 2004 08:08 am (UTC) (Link)
squiggly lines and doodle-oop music

That makes me giggle insanely for some reason. :) Anyway, you have certainly whetted my appetite.
From: falco_999 Date: May 8th, 2004 09:53 am (UTC) (Link)
*sqeals over Purity of Blood*

An example of were a hands-off teaching approach is not a Good Idea. I'm sure that I'll love the irony in this one.
atropos87 From: atropos87 Date: May 10th, 2004 01:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a very amusing mental picture of you petting the Sorting Hat now :)

And I like Mehadi Patil very much. Looking forward to reading more about her.
6 comments or Leave a comment