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AI semi-live - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
AI semi-live
Okay, Seattle. Thoughts as I watch.

Dear HAWTNESS:
No, confidence is not the beginning. Mastery is the beginning. Take confidence from mastery. Also, lay off the botox, please.

And Sargent Uncle Sam? I think it's time to give it up. If you have to wear costumes to get their attention, you're doing something wrong.

Lady whose husband doesn't support you... maybe your husband was trying to keep you from getting her feelings hurt, since you can't recognize the melody of "Reflections." Also, when the auditions judges say, "STOP!!!" then you should, well, stop.

Darwin: It is not sexy to just go braless in a big shirt. But I think she's a fanfic writer. When she said she wrote a novella about a singing contest... I think it was AI fanfic. That would be my guess. Poor Paula... adults saying, "The first song I ever sang was 'Straight Up'." Ouch. And, um, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" might not be the best, er, choice.

Tommy Daniels. Not a good start to say, "Hey, let's skip the work." Nice voice, though. I'll start a pool on at which point the powers that be decide make him shave his 'fro and turn him into a little copy of everyone else.

Carlene... that's an unfortunate dress. Worse singers, but still not good. The dress, though. That was... horrible.

Blake Lewis: Lose the gel. Decent performer. Hollywood? Prediction, yes. And I'm right.

Talent vacuum? Ouch.

Do NOT murder "Stand By Me." Ever.

Sanjaya and Shyamali... nice-looking brother and sister. Let's see if either one can sing. Oo, Shyamali's good. They better pass her through. Sanjaya--yeah, definitely good. And both of them are through! YAY! I like them. And I like them for not going in as a sibling act. Though with those smiles, I'm having weird visions of them doing the next Donny and Marie show.

Nate... "I can here and here, and a bunch of notes in between." And dance while staring at the camera. "I can project myself very well." Um, no. And, um... painful. Randy mock-swaying kills. Randy: "What a strange guy..." Yeah.

Rudy: Cute. Seems reasonably self-controlled. Ooo, nice voice--just like Journey, but that's okay at this stage. Split vote. And another good moment for Randy. Good on you, Rudy.

End day one.

Day two.

Oh, yeah, and way to go Simon, insulting the city. True enough if what we saw was representative, but politics, Simon, politics.

Kenneth. Weird bug eyes, but that's not his fault. Let's see... braggadoccio--never a good start. N'Sync song. Bad. Funny and energetic, but that's so not what he's going for. Simon... it's mean to say stuff about the looks to his face. Man. But, well... um...

Jonathan: "Have you borrowed Randy's trousers?" Oddball speaking voice. And, um, "God Bless America" is not that hard a melody. You can master it before going through the door. Honest. And probably should before going on national television. "I just need one chance," he says. After he got one chance.

"Simon, if you're going to make remarks like that, go back to England." 'Cause it's good form in England to say people look like monkeys.

Oh, Lord, coming up on the guy who wants to be Taylor Hicks. Lesson: Last season's winner isn't what they're looking for.

Eric, the Taylor wannabe who gets in a trance while doing hair. Maybe, as my roommate says, he should do that, since he seems to do it well and like it. Twist Train? Wince, wince, wince, please stop singing. Get together with the make-up girl from yesterday and the two of you could become the makeover idols. They should run that concurrently. When someone sitting beside Paula Abdul has to say, "Are you drunk?" you're in trouble. And even more when Paula has to say, "There are troubled people here."

Tall Anna: I love that Ryan can't really reach to high-five her. Asking if she can move--already ahead, actually figuring out the rules of the audition before just making up her own. Respectable enough voice, though she's trying too hard to be Aretha. Randy and Paula are making weird sounds. And she's through. Paula interprets Simon's silence as a third yes, though he says "You just put through a giraffe."

I'm tired of Prison Break commercials.

Jordan: She's cute, let's see how she does. Oo, nice. A little too much of a twist on a lot of her words, but given some of the horrible stuff, we're in "excellent" territory. And through. Yay!

Oh, dear. The reason they'll never return? I'm curious...

Okay, Stephen the redhead, who apparently does karohkey and isn't a fan, which explains why he waited in line for hours to audition, and to whom looking like Carrot Top is supposed to be a plus. Freddie Mercury--and Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh, dear.

And I can see why they may be away from Seattle for good, though they shouldn't judge the city from this... torture.

AAAAGH!!!! STOP!!!!!!

He took formal lessons ever? Oh, man--don't tell Simon to "Bring it on." That's just asking for it.

That sums it up, Simon: "What. Was. That?"
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Comments
dreagoddess From: dreagoddess Date: January 18th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I loved Jordan, liked Rudy, and liked the brother of the sibling-pair-with-names-I-can't-pronounce-or-spell. But the sister strikes me as...mmm...the kind who will have a temper tantrum at some point. We'll see.

I just want to know WHO is deluding all of these poor people all these years? The ones who come in talking about how they're so great and their friends and family all think they're God's gift, and then they're just....yeargh. It's SO sad, year after year they're still bringing these people in. Nick Zitsman? Oy!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: January 18th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC) (Link)
He was very weird.

I agree about the impression of Shyamali (I checked the spelling on the screen while I was typing)... I don't know why, but she did give a little bit of an "I'm going to eventually throw a tantrum" vibe.

What's the point of telling Simon, "You don't know anything about music!" Obviously, he does. It's his profession. You may or may not agree with his tastes, but he does know his stuff, and with the exception of the guy with the weird eyes, he's mostly kept his comments in the realm of the performances this year.
dreagoddess From: dreagoddess Date: January 18th, 2007 03:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Is it just me, or is Randy the mean one this year? He's been the one going off into personal remarks this year.

And the monkey guy freaked me out. He looks almost exactly like a murderer I've dealt with. Very creepy.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: January 18th, 2007 03:52 am (UTC) (Link)
I know what you mean. I was kind of like, "You know, that particular guy, I might confine myself to 'Thank you for auditioning, but you're not what we're looking for this year. Have a nice day, please.'"

Randy definitely seems to have decided that he should get in on the meanness fun.
arclevel From: arclevel Date: January 19th, 2007 12:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Randy definitely seems to have decided that he should get in on the meanness fun.

Which doesn't seem to have stopped Paula from smacking Simon at every available opportunity. I'm not the hugest Simon fan, but it *really* annoys me when she does that.
caitie From: caitie Date: January 18th, 2007 04:11 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll start a pool on at which point the powers that be decide make him shave his 'fro and turn him into a little copy of everyone else.

Yes. And everyone with curly hair will have it straightened by the time we get to the final 10, mark my words.
dramaturgy From: dramaturgy Date: January 18th, 2007 04:33 am (UTC) (Link)
There will be no one else like Freddie Mercury. ;_;
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blpurdom From: blpurdom Date: January 18th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
While Jonathan was singing it came to me whose voice his reminded me of. "It's Cartman!" I said. My kids agreed. It couldn't have been a more perfect match if he'd sung "In the Heat of the Moment" as Cartman did in one rather memorable episode of South Park. (Which isn't to say he should have gone to Hollywood--South Park Randy, Paula and Simon would laugh in Cartman's face if he auditioned for the South Park version of AI.)
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fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: January 18th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
She was just a guest judge.
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arclevel From: arclevel Date: January 19th, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
I missed the first half of day 1, unfortunately, due to mis-setting my VCR (new cable box), but Seattle did bring more than enough weirdness to make up for it.

I was really concerned with the number of people who insisted they had high-level training, including one of the really awful women who claimed to have a *degree* in vocal performance, yet couldn't begin to carry a tune. And don't people realize how pathetic they look when they sit there, either in front of the judges or offstage, whining about how the judges don't know what they're talking about?

Someone also needs to inform the country that there's a difference between having a broad range and singing really, really, really *high* -- and even if you do have a genuinely broad range, that still has very little to do with singing *well*.

Hairdresser!Taylor did say that he wanted to show people that he was actually different from Taylor, and he was successful at that. After all, Taylor can sing. I was also amused that Mr. I'm-different-really had clearly styled his own hair differently than usual in order to look just like him.

For the day-and-a-half I've seen, no one has jumped out at me as absolutely wonderful. Most of the ones the judges were raving over, I thought were good but not great. Though I did wonder what the hell Simon was thinking by smacking down the Journey singer; he wasn't perfect, and he got a bit off-key near the end, but he had a good voice, knew the song, and was definitely one of the very best they'd heard all day.
sistermagpie From: sistermagpie Date: January 19th, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was really concerned with the number of people who insisted they had high-level training, including one of the really awful women who claimed to have a *degree* in vocal performance, yet couldn't begin to carry a tune.

*barging in to talk about SYTYCD*

Err. hi. I totally agree on all the comments here about the singers--especially that poor woman who'd decided her husband wasn't supportive because she just didn't want her to go to Hollywood when she couldn't sing at all. She really ought to have just been happy singing to her son. And if she kept singing when they told her she was through, I can't imagine how clear her husband might have been.

Anyway, this was something I really liked that they said right out on "So You Think You Can Dance." Many people acted as if Nigel on that show was rude for telling people they had no technique, but I could totally understand his frustration and I thought in the end he was angry on the behalf of other people. People kept coming in and saying they'd been studying for years and years (since with dancing it's more common that people will have studied) and they would not have any technique, and then they would blithely announce they were teachers themselves, or were opening a dance studio. So now presumably all sorts of innocent people who wanted to learn to dance would get ripped off. He wasn't telling them they had no *potential* to be dancers, he was telling them they had not been trained well and had bad technique.

But then, sometimes these shows do seem to inspire people with the attitude that, as Fernwithy said, the confidence produces the mastery instead of vice versa. I heard Kellie Pickler today say something about never giving up and how you're your own worst critic and I thought...does she watch the show? Because most of the people last night were their own *best* critics, unfortunately.
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