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Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 1: Thunder Moon - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 1: Thunder Moon
Awesome day for illustrations! knackard has done two from Shades ("Who are you and where is Nymphadora Tonks?" and Remus running into Neville and his grandmother in Diagon Alley.)

Well, I've taken a week off. Time to start Teddy's third year. Maybe when I finish it, it will stop burning in my head, and I can try writing something original which could contribute to my material well-being. ;p More likely, it'll be Safe.

Meanwhile, I gotta write what I gotta write. A couple of people asked about second year. Well... I believe that Teddy got through the year without any threats to his life or well-being, which may be some kind of record in the Potterverse. Muggles and Minions games, rooting for Gryffindor Quidditch, worrying about classes, the occasional bit of Marauding, but no plot.

It opens with one of those GoF/HBP/DH different POV chapters, but I promise, we'll get to Teddy soon enough. Since it's its own little thing, I'll do the chapter in a piece.




For a hundred years or more, the Ministry had guarded Azkaban Island with fearsome dark creatures, depending on the North Sea as a secondary line of defense and the strong spells from above preventing a departure to the skies or any sort of Apparition. With the departure of the Dementors, they were forced back to dependence on the sea to keep the prisoners inside. Only Sirius Black had been mad enough to try to escape that way, at any rate.

Harry Potter, the head of the Auror Division, had argued strenuously for greater protection from the outside, pointing out that at least twice, there had been major, concerted efforts from the outside to "liberate" prisoners, but the Wizengamot had balked at the amount of treasure involved, after so much had been squandered during the war. They were already forced to pay human guards, they claimed, and without the Dementors keeping people's appetites low, more was being spent on food and other care. There were even regular visits from Healers. With all the extra gold they were spending to improve Azkaban already, lacing the sea with curses and protective hexes had seemed excessive. "After all," Tiberius Ogden said, "Lord Voldemort--thanks to you, Mr. Potter--is no longer a threat, nor is Bellatrix Lestrange. The Malfoys are repentant. The others are locked up... who's left to want them released?"

Harry Potter had been overridden, and for nearly thirteen years, it seemed to have been a quite logical decision. No one had approached Azkaban. The prisoners had made no serious attempts to escape. Everything was under control. Voldemort's servants were prisoners of something even more fearsome than Azkaban--the past. They were no longer relevant. The new dangers lay elsewhere. Potter's occasional visits to the Wizengamot to urge greater investment in Azkaban were met with gentle chidings about trying to fill old Alastor Moody's shoes.

The guards, of course, kept an eye on the sea. They weren't to be completely ignorant. They searched for all magical disturbances.

Muggle boats occasionally passed, of course. The North Sea was cold and forbidding, but it was well-trafficked, and Azkaban was one of many islands. Such boats always found some pressing business in another direction if they came too close, though--Muggles couldn't see Azkaban, but they were caught in the various Distraction Spells that protected it--so the guards paid little heed to them. Muggles would have no reason to free Dark wizards.

It was quite possible, then, that someone saw the boat on the horizon, a little wooden fishing trawler, in bad shape and over-crewed for its size. Such boats passed regularly. There was nothing to mark where the enchantments began, so no one would have noticed it crossing slowly, drifting into the realm of the island, and certainly, by the time it sheltered in an unforgiving cleft in the rock, it had been long-forgotten by guards getting ready for a pleasant July evening at home, commiserating with the three unlucky souls who would be forced to spend the night here among the prisoners--particularly one of them, given that the moon would be full--slapping one another's shoulders. The tiny evening shift came on, grumbling about its very unpleasant upcoming duties. They drew straws--two would have to subdue and guard the problem prisoner. The other would make the regular rounds. The winner--and in this matter, she certainly felt like one--tucked her wand into its holster, and waved sarcastically to her unfortunate colleagues as she headed down to the main cell block. The woman in charge didn't respond; the young man didn't exactly wave, although his hand was raised. He had never liked her, and never would, rather like most of the people she'd met since leaving the safety of Slytherin House.

Millicent Bulstrode's career after Hogwarts hadn't really taken off.

She certainly wasn't the only member of her year in Slytherin to be saddled with a bad reputation, or even the only one to have worked in Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad. She wasn't even the worst--the most she'd ever done was get into a hair-pulling fight with the Granger girl second year. But the others seemed to have had quite a few more assets to cash in when it came time to join the adult world. Millicent didn't have Draco Malfoy's strange family connections to the new regime (no one had been more surprised than the Slytherins--including Draco--when Harry Potter had declared Narcissa Malfoy a hero of the Battle of Hogwarts), or Pansy Parkinson's perky prettiness, or Greg Goyle's family money. Daphne Greengrass had moved in with relatives in Barbados and made a comfortable life there, and Blaise Zabini had charmed Alicia Spinnet into marrying him, and somehow or other integrated himself into life on the outer fringes of Dumbledore's Army.

But Millicent's family wasn't wealthy, she had done nothing in the battle, and she looked rather like the hag her great-grandfather was rumored to have married. (Great Grandmother Bulstrode had mysteriously disappeared, and the rumors were hotly denied, but Millicent owned a mirror, and occasionally used it, so she doubted the denials.) There were no political strings to pull, no husbands to charm, no waiting jobs. She'd worked in a few Knockturn Alley shops, taken a low-level Ministry post sending out owls, and finally, needing more gold than she was taking in if she meant to continue feeding her cats and paying rent on her flat, applied for the post as a guard at Azkaban. She hadn't held out much hope when Granger (now Weasley) interviewed her, but she'd got the job offer two weeks later. One thing about permanently retiring the Dementors--it had created jobs.

"Millicent! Millicent!"

Millicent turned to the small, unkempt woman in cell fourteen. "Yes, Professor Umbridge?"

Dolores Umbridge leaned forward conspiratorially. "I think Alecto is planning something nasty. I heard her talking about stealing her brother's food. Also..." Umbridge signaled for her to come closer, and whispered. "There are centaurs. They come at night. I'm sure Potter is sending them to torment me, and surely that's against the law. I'm sure you aren't involved, of course, Millicent."

"Professor..."

"And the Mudbloods! I wish you'd move them out of my cell, they don't let me get any sleep at all, filthy things."

"I'll talk to my supervisor, Professor," Millicent said, looking into the empty cell.

"The babies are the worst," Umbridge went on. "They just cry and cry and cry..."

Millicent patted her hand and moved away, revolted. She didn't have much use for the Mudbloods herself and never had, but even they hadn't deserved what Umbridge had done. There had been an unproven rumor--as hotly denied, of course, as the Bulstrode hag rumor--about a Potion that St. Mungo's had been instructed to administer to any pregnant Mudblood that year. Millicent hadn't really believed it until she'd seen an article about how few babies had been born during the year Voldemort controlled the Ministry, and even then hadn't really internalized it until she heard Umbridge raving about crying babies who weren't there. Now, she believed. As she moved on down the corridor, Umbridge was already carrying on a lengthy justification of her crimes to a judge who wasn't there.

"Hey, where's our feast?" Amycus Carrow growled. "Greyback got a right feast. Werewolves gettin' special rights, are they?"

"Greyback's less trouble to take care of tomorrow if we see to it that he's well fed before his transformation. You, on the other hand, are never any less trouble."

"And he up and gets a surface-side cell once a month! I reckon he done worse than Alecto and me put together."

Millicent sighed. It was bad enough that two guards on night duty had to be exclusively devoted to guarding Greyback during his transformation; she didn't need to take complaints about his "special" treatment. "He gets a surface cell once a month so he can see the moon, and before you start in on him having it all to himself, I could always offer to let you share it with him."

"Er... no thanks."

"Animal ought to be put down," Macnair grumbled from a few cells up. "I can do it for you, free of charge even. As a favor to the new Ministry. I hear they're not averse to killing a werewolf or two. Did one last month, if you believe the Prophet."

"It sounds like a fine idea to me," Millicent said, "but I doubt they'll go along with--"

In the world above, something crashed. A high-pitched scream rose, and someone cut it off.

Alecto Carrow, at the far end of the corridor, let out a whoop of laughter. "Trouble in the guardhouse, trouble in the guardhouse!"

Millicent almost called out to her supervising officer, Leonora Graves, but something held her tongue. She drew her wand--carefully staying to the center of the corridor, where none of the Death Eaters could make a play for it--and hurried up toward the surface, toward the door where the dying sunlight played like phantom blood on the dark gray stones. Once she reached the stairs, she pressed herself against the wall, trying not to cast a shadow or make a sound. She mentally forgave Umbridge for trying her patience--had it not been for her time in the Inquisitorial Squad, she'd never have learned to move like this.

"Toss out the rubbish!" a woman yelled. "Toss it in the ocean!"

"I say we keep it handy," a man said. "Might get hungry later."

"Well, get it out of the way, anyhow," the woman said. "They don't give their guards much room up here."

Thundering footsteps came toward the stairwell, and a huge man, made into a black silhouette by the red sun, tossed a bundle toward the cells, and Millicent fought the hardest battle she could imagine to keep from screaming.

It was Leonora Graves. Her throat had been torn out, and as her body rolled unevenly down the stairs, she left a sticky trail of blood oozing out behind her.

"What about the other one?" another woman asked, and Millicent forced herself up another step, staying in the shadows.

"Need him to open up the door, don't we?" the first woman said.

Millicent came to the top, Disillusioned herself, and peeked around the door frame. The guards' office was crowded with two dozen strangers. They were all dressed in rags, disheveled and dirty. Many of them had filed their teeth to points. The crash she'd heard had been the fireplace caving in, blocking out their means of communication and transport. Millicent could see two charred and broken wands in the rubble--they must have burned them before they put out the fire.

Jack Sloper had been dragged to the center of the room, and--like the idiot Gryffindor he was--was still trying to fight. He kicked one of the men, who stomped down on his calf. Millicent heard the bone break, and Jack howled.

"Now," the woman who seemed to be in charge said, "you're going to open up Greyback's cage."

"No!"

"Oh, I think you will. We can make a right mess of you if you don't. Where's the key?"

Jack snorted. "It's magic, you idiot. And you burnt my wand."

"Oh, that's a shame," the woman said. "We'll have to tear the cage down. And we won't need you anymore."

Before Millicent could process what she was doing, let alone respond to it, something silver flashed, and Jack fell forward, blood staining the front of his robes. A huge man picked him up and took him to the door that led out onto the landing platform outside, and she saw the shoulders heave, then Jack was gone, into the depths of the North Sea.

Millicent froze. They were on a skeleton staff, because the night approach to Azkaban was quite impossible to make by sea, and the magical defenses from the air were unbreachable. She couldn't floo out, and she was the only one left, and she knew who they were now... oh, yes. No doubt about it.

After thirteen years, Greyback's pack had come for him.

"Come on!" the woman yelled. "I haven't been hiding on a boat for six hours just to watch you lot change before we do what we came to do!"

"Oh let up, Mina!" one of them said. "We're already on it!"

The pack had gathered around the cell built for Greyback's use. It was heavily reinforced on the inside--she helped with the spells that kept the powerful werewolf from breaking it down each month--but the outside was stone and mortar like anything else. As Millicent watched, they started battering it, prying at the mortar with anything they could find. On the inside, she could hear Greyback: "What's the matter with you, Jamieson? Can't you get anything right?"

Millicent shook her head sharply, trying to shock herself awake. How had things gone this wrong? She raised her wand, and whispered, "Stupefy."

A man went down.

"Someone's here!" Mina shouted. "Invisible. Grab around! Not you!" she added to the group around Greyback's cell. "We only got about ten minutes!"

"Stupefy!" Millicent yelled. "Stupefy! Stupefy!"

More fell, but the room was full, almost end to end, and grasping hands brushed her robes.

"Got 'im!" the man called Jamieson said.

Millicent pulled away, yanking herself back. She was at the edge of the stairs, and she felt herself teeter and turned frantically, grabbing the wall. Two nails tore, and her wand clattered out of her hand and down to the floor below. Out of nowhere, she thought of her cats, sitting at home, waiting to be fed. No one would think to check on them for days.

Grasping hands followed her. She ducked.

"He's gone down!" Jamieson called to Mina.

"Forget it, then. He's not going anywhere from there. Someone keep a guard on the stairs. The rest of you, to work!"

An old woman with a long knife gleefully took up a position at the top of the stairs, her arms spread across the door. Millicent moved backward slowly, taking the steps as silently as she'd come up. If she could just get to her wand--

There was another horrendous crash of stone on stone, then a broad, harsh laugh. "Come for me, did you?" Greyback said, in the high good humor that he adopted before the moon rose each month. "Took you long enough."

"Stanfield was alpha when you were gone. Didn't want to come collect you," Mina said. "But the Aurors killed him last month. Thought it was time to bring you back."

Millicent reached the bottom of the stairs. If she could get her wand, she could blast the one guard out of the way, make her way to whatever boat they'd come in, and sail away, leaving them stranded here. She'd go as far as it took to get past the Apparition barrier and then go straight to London, straight into Harry Potter's office, if that's what it took. She scooped it up and started to head back.

A great shadow fell across the door above.

Greyback.

He tipped his head to one side. "No time to get back tonight, but I reckon there's good pickings here. Those little bars won't hold out for long."

Millicent's hand froze.

The prisoners would be trapped in their cells. Even if a transformed werewolf broke the bars, the other werewolves would prevent any escape.

If she left now, blasted her way past the two at the door, she could escape.

But they couldn't.

Granted, the world wouldn't miss Amycus Carrow much, but he was her responsibility.

She gritted her teeth, and started back down the cell block, casting the spells they used on Greyback's cell each month on the bars of Dolores Umbridge's cell. "Stay inside, Professor!" she hissed. "Whatever any of you see, don't stick your arms out!" She ran down, casting it on Amycus's cell, on Macnair's, on Alecto's, then turned down toward the lower level, where Rabastan Lestrange and his brother kept their vigil. Far above, she heard the first screams, the first howls. Powerful paws scrabbled down the stone steps, then there were yips and yaps of frustration as the werewolves tested the spells.

Millicent ran on. Yaxley, Rowle, a non-Death Eater called Simms who'd murdered his twin daughters trying to make a Potion to restore his wife. Poor Vincent Crabbe's father. Nott.

She turned and ran up a crooked staircase, coming up on the east wing of the main cell block. She Conjured bars across the passage to the minimum security wing, then reinforced them, then moved on to the other Death Eaters. Avery. Jugson.

The corridor doglegged, and she found herself face to face with a gray wolf, pointed ears and tufted tail catching the moonlight. It growled at her, right through the Disillusioning spell, but of course, the spell did nothing for her scent.

The wolf leapt.

Millicent ran blindly, neither knowing nor caring where she meant to go. A left, a right, a staircase--up or down, she wasn't sure--another left. Finally, she saw the light of the night sky. She ran past the empty cell that had once held an innocent man called Sirius Black. He had escaped from here, jumped to the ocean through a gap in the bars.

But as a dog, he'd been much smaller than Millicent Bulstrode.

She ran flat out into the bars, but no matter how she squirmed and turned, she couldn't force more than her arm outside. She looked up at the full moon.

Behind her, something howled.

She started to scream.
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sciathan_file From: sciathan_file Date: September 30th, 2007 06:21 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm very excited about the prospect of new fic from you!

And this is dark and intense right from the beginning, so I have no doubt it will be as wonderful as it always is. Also, you seriously need a giant gold star for giving the minor characters some love.

*Applauds*
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 02:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
I thought about using an O.C., but I thought a minor character with a little known history might be more interesting. Glad you liked the choice!
shiiki From: shiiki Date: September 30th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my goodness, what a beginning! I'm thoroughly impressed; already I'm fearful for Teddy.

I think you did a wonderful job first building up the little bit of backstory about Azkaban - so easy for the wizarding world to fall back into complacency again and relax the security! Millicent was very well done, and I like very much that she stayed to protect the prisoners first.

Great start, and I'm eager to read more! :)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 02:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think you did a wonderful job first building up the little bit of backstory about Azkaban - so easy for the wizarding world to fall back into complacency again and relax the security!

I'm afraid that was more of a case of "Uh-oh, better figure out just how Greyback can escape" than one of seeing a possibility and extrapolating its nightmarish consequences. ;p

I'm looking forward to writing more, actually. Greyback is a gift for "plotty" writers.
1voice From: 1voice Date: September 30th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Very cool beginning...can't wait for more!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
summoner_lenne9 From: summoner_lenne9 Date: September 30th, 2007 07:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow! I'm actually here when you're writing a new story! I'm only half way through the challenges, though, and have about 5 or 6 of your stories to read, so ya.

God though, I don't -like- her, but she didn't deserve... that.

Espeically since I watched Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal today and am VERY CREEPED OUT by this kinda thing and UGHHHHHHHH!

*Can't wait for your next prompt btw, since I have 3 or 4 things I'd love to see what you said about them*

But.... Teddy is so screwed. *Feels bad for the poor boy that his second year WAS tame*
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 02:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's a healthy dose of Hannibal Lecter in Greyback, except without the brains. (Maybe he needs a snack, heh-heh-heh.) Though I doubt Lecter would put up with a pack of not-very-bright followers.

anj1290 From: anj1290 Date: September 30th, 2007 07:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, fantastic. You write action wonderfully. I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take this. :) Although like some of the others, I already feel badly for Teddy.

(Possible typo--I feel like "stupefy" is spelled with an 'e' rather than an 'i.')
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Funny part? I looked up "Stupefy" and still had the window open when I was typing it. :headdesk:

Thanks on the action! That's one I've worked really hard to learn to do.
summoner_lenne9 From: summoner_lenne9 Date: September 30th, 2007 07:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Right. I somehow ruined that last sentence. I MEANT "I feel so bad for the poor boy, and at LEAST his second year was tame."

Oppies.

DON'T DIE OR BECOME A WEREWOLF TEDDY, NOOO!

(Except, I've always called him a 'color changing werewolf baby'- even though I KNOW now he's NOT a werewolf, it's still just fun to say- and I guess because of your stories I'd have to call him a 'color changing werewolf hawk-shape-shifting kid'

.... WHICH IS JUST AWESOME ON SO MANY DEGREES! (Ya, sorry)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Right. I somehow ruined that last sentence. I MEANT "I feel so bad for the poor boy, and at LEAST his second year was tame."

Hee. I was wondering about that.
persephone_kore From: persephone_kore Date: September 30th, 2007 07:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my.

The complacency about Azkaban is all too easy to believe, and Millicent's situation and her interactions with the prisoners seem to fit very well.

Umbridge is revolting. The potion is also all too believable -- I confess I hadn't thought about that in relation to Teddy's year, just the idea that fewer people would have been getting pregnant in the first place. And yet I think if I went back to Forest Guard I'd probably see hints. I'm a little surprised she even imagines them real enough to complain.

I did like the touch (which I admit I missed the first time through) of the Inquisitorial Guard teaching Millicent stealth. She did a good job here... practical, effective as she could be under the circumstances, responsible when she knew what it was likely to buy her. The imagery is vivid... fingernails always get me, and the mad race ending where I can pretty much feel the bars around my shoulder. (I would just as soon not imagine the teeth.)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fingernails get me, too. Vicky's death in Firestarter freaked me right the hell out.

I don't think there are any explicit hints in FG about the potion, as I was doing mental math and realized how many in that year would have been conceived before Voldemort took over, back to January of the HBP year. Quite a good number left, but I thought there still needed to be more accounting. The next year is also kinda little.
(Deleted comment)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aargh, campus fire drills. Had one in graduate school, caused because the resident advisor decided to warm up a pizza in the dorm kitchen, in the standard oven rather than the microwave... and didn't take it out of its cardboard box. Sympathies. Glad to help out, there.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 30th, 2007 07:45 am (UTC) (Link)
oooooohhh, shiver. This chapter is wonderful and very creepy. I'm so glad you're writing another HP story. Thank you for all the reading pleasure you give us.

Maureen
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm just glad that people are reading. :)
starbrow From: starbrow Date: September 30th, 2007 08:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my god. What an opening! Will be watching eagerly for more!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, yes, Greyback. JKR's shiny little plot-present for Lupin writers. I'm eager to write more, too, especially since the next few scenes are happy and sunny (for the most part).
thornyrose42 From: thornyrose42 Date: September 30th, 2007 09:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh Fern! This is absolutly brilliant, I had my heart in my throat for the entire last half of this extract and I was desperatly hoping that Millicent would get away. There was something despresingly ironic about the fact that she couldn't escapse the way Sirius had, when I first read that sentance about his cell I heaved this sigh of relief because I was sure that she would at least be able to protect herslef in that cell if it came to it. But no, instead we get this powerful last line....

I just hope that she will be remembered for her sacrifice. I admit that I was mentally screaming that they weren't worth it when she decided to go back. I suppose it just proves that Slytherins can do the whole alturism thing too. But in admist this I was curious about the Simms man, did you mena that he had deliberatly killed his daughters to use their bodies for the Potion?

I was also wondering why there wern't any prisoners in for minor crimes. Or has the New Ministry stoped sending people to Askaban for trespass?

Brillent first chapter Fern, I cant wait for the next.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's a good point, about the minor crimes. I can't imagine with such small population that they'd build a second prison. I'll add Millicent blocking off the entire low security wing.

Millicent is a good guard, but she's not overly burdened with brains, or she would have gone for Sirius's cell and shut herself in. Then again, she might have been thinking in some muddled way that she could still go for help.
beceh From: beceh Date: September 30th, 2007 10:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Ohhh yay :-D. Great start. Poor Millicent. Looking forward to more! I've missed reading your writing every day!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've really missed writing every day, so that works well. ;p
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 30th, 2007 10:41 am (UTC) (Link)

continuity

when did Millicent recover her wand? She's doing spells at the end, reinforcing the cells, yet she lost it earlier.
persephone_kore From: persephone_kore Date: September 30th, 2007 11:28 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: continuity

If she could get her wand, .... She scooped it up and started to head back.
From: smishli Date: September 30th, 2007 11:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I've been a lurking fan of yours for ages, so I figured it was high time for me to tell you how much I love your writing, especially your stories about Teddy! I gave a very long squeal of delight when I saw you'd begun his 3rd year, and this introduction is chillingly fabulous. Poor Teddy! And Millicent with her cats! As always seems to happen to me when I read your stories, I'm already integrating this into my canon conception of the wizarding world.

One little nitpick - I think it's Stupefy with an e, not an i.

Looking forward to reading more, and thanks for all the great writing you've put out for us to enjoy!

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the de-lurk!

You're right about "Stupify." Grrr.
From: metamorphmuggle Date: September 30th, 2007 12:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Much love from the Metamorphmuggle. Much, much love. I'm just glad that I KNOW Teddy won't become a werewolf - the story about the Roost confirms that, right?

It's been said, but it's "stupefy" rather than "stupify."

Love it. :)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
I suppose he could theoretically be a werewolf at the Roost, but I definitely wasn't planning on going there!
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 30th, 2007 01:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Shiver

Good thing I'm reading this first thing in the morning instead of last thing at night.

Is Millicent one of the guards who gets turned (that you referenced in your previous one-shot)? I certainly hope so, because I don't want her to die -- especially like that.

And I know that if she lives, Harry, etc will make sure that she's very well looked after, what with the colony in France (especially Alderman -- not that I want a romance or anything, I know you made him a priest, but if he's about Harry's age, then he's about Millicent's age too, so he'd really be someone for her to talk to and interact with), and I'm sure that Harry's faction would make sure that she kept her job (day shifts from now on, of course) and maybe even give her an order of Merlin Second or Third Class -- she certainly deserves it!

BTW -- The Forest Guard and one shots were great (I can't believe that I got to see one of my requests after all, even if I didn't make the ETA). I don't mind that you can't deal with writing Safe yet -- I can't bring myself to reread DH yet either.

And I LOVE your pairing of Parvati and Dudley. And I love your Scorpius. Scops is an adorable nickname. I hope we'll see lots of one shots of all three characters. Maybe even an "Of a Sort" for Albus, Rose, and Scorpius eventually?

Sara Libby
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Shiver

Is Millicent one of the guards who gets turned (that you referenced in your previous one-shot)?

Yup... someone needs to tell Harry what happened, and I doubt the DEs are the most reliable source. ;p You're right, they'll get her to the others in France.
demonoflight From: demonoflight Date: September 30th, 2007 01:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow.

That was...

Oh. Wow.

If the beginning is this intense, I can't wait to see how the rest of the year unfolds.

(I laughed a little at crazy!Umbridge. Then I felt bad about it. Should I feel bad?)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
(I laughed a little at crazy!Umbridge. Then I felt bad about it. Should I feel bad?)

I felt the same. I deal with the not-entirely-right-in-the-mind at work a lot, and often, I really want to laugh afterward--did you know that we're at war because there's a line of occult resonance that somehow goes straight from Salisbury through Boston through Atlanta to Iraq, and it needed recharging?--but then I think, man, this guy's in serious trouble, I shouldn't laugh. But... occult line? That's not even a straight line by any imaginable standard?
willowbough From: willowbough Date: September 30th, 2007 02:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dark, creepy, sinister, and immediately engaging. I actually felt sorry for Millicent, trying to do her duty in her Slytherinish way. Greyback's pack is as revolting as it ever was, though I wonder why the surviving males didn't duke it out to be Alpha once Stanfield was gone. Maybe Mina wielded some influence there? Eagerly awaiting the next.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Mina wields influence. Wolf packs do have an alpha female, and she's it. I think she just didn't much like any of the remaining men, and figured it was time to bust Greyback out before she had to put up with Jamieson month after month.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 30th, 2007 02:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG!

OMG*OMG*OMG*OMG*OMG*OMG

I can't tell you how excited I am to see you start this story, and this first chapter ROCKED! Talk about exciting and horrible, and that little insight into the well deserved fate of Dolores was excellent.

And poor Millicent! She tried so hard, and now she's paying for giving those prisoners a thought and care that they'd never expend on her. So well done!

Great job, and I can't wait to read what you come up with next!
rdprice29 From: rdprice29 Date: September 30th, 2007 02:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
OK, this fangirly comment is from me. Not sure why I'm signed out. Anyway, great job!
allie_meril From: allie_meril Date: September 30th, 2007 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
*applauds* Great start, Fern! Nice and dark and creepy... Can't wait to read more!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm looking forward to writing more, actually!
obsfuscation From: obsfuscation Date: September 30th, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
AWESOME. I am so thrilled to be reading this. What a great, creepy intro. I now feel more for Millicent than I ever imagined feeling.

I also didn't think I could possibly hate Umbridge more, BUT I DO. Whew. Excellent. :)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Umbridge is like Greyback--it's always possible for her to do something even more hateful. (The bit with Moody's eye... deliciously and plausibly horrible. I loved that, in the sickest way, because it established exactly what we were going to be dealing with from DEs in charge.)
redlily From: redlily Date: September 30th, 2007 03:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
That was terrifying!! But I love your Millicent -- now she's a person, not just the ugly Slytherin girl.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. Millicent turned out interesting in the dullness of her post-war life.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 30th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG OMG OMG! Another Teddy fic! YAY! Thanks!

I always liked Millicent, right from the hair pulling in CoS she seems too misunderstood. OMG no MILLICENT!

-fh:)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 05:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ha, glad I made a good choice of minor character, then! :)
From: ethnotechno Date: September 30th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Amazing! My kind of beginning to a new story...

Yes, even the ugly Slytherin girl deserves a story, and you tell it so well.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 30th, 2007 05:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ugly girls need love, too. :)
From: ethnotechno Date: September 30th, 2007 04:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
I hope Umbridge doesn't turn into a werewolf, she'd be worse than Greyback ever was!
summoner_lenne9 From: summoner_lenne9 Date: September 30th, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
OHHH! OHHHH! THAT'D BE THE MOST SUITING DEATH FOR HER -EVER-! TO BE KILLED OFF BY WEREWOLVES.

Or become one.

Wow.
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