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Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 12: The Lost Treasure, pt. 3 - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 12: The Lost Treasure, pt. 3
knackard did a cool, gloaty Narcissa from Chapter 14 of Shades, when she tells Tonks about Remus's dietary changes.

Anyway, back in the land of the living, Teddy's at his grandmother's for Christmas, along with the whole Weasley-Potter clan... and Dudley Dursley, who has insisted on being brought to see him, even though it means having Harry drag him through the Floo, which he doesn't like one little bit, and swears he will not use to get back.

Table of Contents and Summary So Far




Dudley made a point of saying hello to Teddy, but mainly spent the morning huddled on the sofa, looking warily at the pastry tray until Uncle Harry promised him that there were no Weasley products on it. The pair of them talked awkwardly for a little while, sharing only one actual laugh, when Dudley mentioned his father bellowing about "unnaturalness" when George had come over with a singing poinsettia. Dudley did an imitation of said bellow, and Uncle Harry laughed crazily, though Teddy didn't think it was an especially funny thing. From what Teddy could gather, Dudley had decided to leave with George and Sophie on the spur of the moment, and didn't expect his parents would miss him until four o'clock, when they would serve dinner and expect him there. He'd heard enough commentary about a girl he happened to be going out with, and also wanted to avoid an appearance on his father's "blog."

"Goes on it every day, and talks about drills, except when he's talking about work around the house, and how well his drills do for it. He had designs to put the camera on me and show me putting up a new door."

"He'll catch you tonight, you know," Uncle Harry said.

"With luck, he and Aunt Marge will break out the sherry, and he'll forget about it."

"Aunt Marge is there?"

"Oh, yes. She asked about you. Dad told her you spend your days with a lot of criminals."

"Undoubtedly from my years at St. Brutus's," Uncle Harry said.

Teddy didn't follow most of this. It was their shared secret language. It didn't seem to have much in it, or to be used to say anything pleasant, but it was theirs, just as Aunt Ginny and her brothers had a language from growing up in the Burrow, or the way Victoire and her sisters could finish each other's sentences even while they were fighting. Teddy wondered who he'd talk to at Christmas when he grew up, and amused himself by imagining his friends and enemies, all old, dropping by. Of course, he imagined that a visit from Dudley would be rather like Honoria Higgs happening by his own house, trying to make conversation about the time she'd misquoted Teddy in the Charmer and nearly lost him his best friend.

He cast about for someone else to join, but the little children were all comparing their new toys, and he'd feel out of place with them, while Victoire and Marie had become quite girlish, doing some complex thing with one another's hair that involved braiding in some new things they'd got for Christmas. He drifted over to Professor Longbottom and Vivian, who were talking to Ron and Hermione, but it was too strange to spend time with a teacher outside of school, so he moved on to George, Bill, and Fleur, who were talking about George's plan to trap Greyback. Teddy would have very much liked to stay in this conversation, but Granny, deeply frustrated, broke it up, saying that she didn't care to have Fenrir Greyback in her house for Christmas, and if she'd wanted him, she'd have invited him.

The pastry tray and cut vegetables faded neatly into a huge buffet lunch, and James gave up comparing his toys to Rose and Aimee's in order to sit with Teddy and describe all of them, even though Teddy had been right there as he'd opened them. Teddy was feeling slow and full, and he hoped that Granny was planning a very late supper. He suggested going out to the garden, and James thought it a grand idea.

They walked along the path, deeply inside the security spells, and looked at uninteresting December plant life. James sniffed a rose bush and pretended that it smelled good.

Teddy sat down and glanced at a shallow stone basin that had been built to resemble a birdbath, though the bottom was strewn with moonstones. It had been his grandfather's Scrying dish. He didn't think Firenze would make much of it--purely a fortune-telling device--but Trelawney would probably approve. Granny said that Granddad's attitude toward Divination was rather lackadaisical for a Seer, but that he'd had plenty of good information from the dish. It needed a wand, so Teddy had never tried it himself. He wondered if it would work for him.

"Is that a Seeing Bowl?" James asked eagerly. "Mum found one in the attic, but she won't use it. She says that it belonged to someone bad and might show her bad things. I want to see the future, though. Could I see the future in this one? Could you see yours? What are you going to be when you grow up?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to be an Auror?"

Teddy shook his head. "No. I don't want to be a teacher, either."

"Why would you want to be a teacher?"

"My dad was a teacher. My mum was an Auror." He'd always felt slightly guilty that neither career appealed to him much.

"Really?"

"What do you want to be?"

"An Auror, like Daddy," James said, and jumped onto a garden bench, grabbing a twig to wave around. "You stop right there... you're not going to get away from me!" He sat down. "Did you want to be an Auror when you were six?"

"No. I never wanted to be an Auror."

"What did you want to be when you were six?"

"A dustbin man," Teddy said. "I thought it would be fun to see what everyone threw away."

This career path had apparently never occurred to James, and he immediately started to spin a story about it, in which he was a heroic dustbin man who found a treasure map in someone's rubbish. He was about to tell the Queen about it when Dudley Dursley opened the back door and took a few tentative steps into the garden. He stopped just short of Teddy and James and said, "Er, I thought I'd... well, that is, I talked to Harry and he reckons it's not a bad idea."

"What's not?" James asked.

"Well--this bloke who's after you, he got out with people using normal ways. Boats and such, not magic."

Teddy frowned, not sure where this was going. "Right."

"If he gets your wand away from you, you might run into trouble getting away. I asked Harry if I could teach you how to win against someone bigger than you without magic." He seemed pleased to have got through the sentence, and smiled. "I was a boxer," he added. "Your mum and dad saw me fight once."

"How did that happen?"

"He was at my school to make sure nothing happened to me. Your mum came along for the ride, I think. They helped a lot. He did something to my memory to make me forget, but he warned me that he wasn't very good at it. It sort of came apart a couple of years later, and I remembered everything. I'm glad he wasn't very good at it."

Teddy shook his head. He knew the story of his Dad going undercover at Smeltings, but somehow, he'd entirely forgotten that it had anything to do with Dudley. He didn't think that learning how to box with Greyback was going to make any difference, but he knew the look on Dudley's face--the "I will give something to Professor Lupin's son" look. He'd once complained to Uncle Harry after a woman named Lavender had insisted on making sure he knew how to do his sums when he was eight, and Uncle Harry had been cross with him. "She's honoring your dad, Teddy," he said. "And she needs to do it. It won't hurt you to spend an hour at your sums, and it will make Lavender happy."

Teddy hadn't been thrilled about it, but after he finished the problems Granny had set for him and Lavender praised him, he saw that she was happy, and he rather liked feeling that he had helped. It didn't happen often, and was nearly always about Dad (Mum's friends didn't seem to feel that the scales were out of balance in the way that Dad's former students tended to, though Berit Ollivander had helped Teddy on Mum's account once), so when it did, Teddy felt that he could take with good grace whatever they felt it necessary to give. If Dudley wanted to teach him how to box, it could even be interesting, though he doubted it would ever be particularly helpful.

He shrugged. "I could do that," he said. "But we'd best keep it back here. I don't think Granny would like bringing Greyback into the house."

Dudley looked delighted. "That's fantastic! We can start, well..." He looked at James.

"Couldn't I stay?" James asked. "Perhaps I could be a boxer." He punched the air with tiny fists.

"If it's all right with Teddy," Dudley said. "But don't start using it on your brother. I don't think Harry would take to me teaching you to do that."

"I never hit Al," James said righteously, though Teddy knew for a fact that the pair of them pummeled each other on a regular basis for some reason.

Dudley didn't look like he believed this for a second, but didn't question it. "You're too small to really try it," he said. "You can stay here on the bench to watch. Teddy, you need to come out here." Teddy did so. Dudley towered over him. "Now," he said, "the first thing you need to remember is that you can't let him get hold of you. If a bigger bloke gets hold, you're sunk before you start. So you need to be fast..."
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Comments
alkari From: alkari Date: November 4th, 2007 07:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Ah, excellent! This could be fascinating - Muggle boxing as a defence against Greyback. Interesting to see whether Teddy absorbs some of the principles of boxing too, not just the practicalities: as Dudley says, a smaller and physically weaker opponent cannot let the big guy get hold of him, so he has to use other tactics.

And I really love little James and his utter devotion to Teddy; how he alternates between his hero worship of Teddy, and then being the 'big boy' with his own siblings.

From: ethnotechno Date: November 4th, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh man, I kinda box for fun myself, and this is cool. I'd love to see Teddy or Dudley knock Greyback's canines out with a well-placed cross. That would be SO much more satisfying to everyone, I think, than any magical punishments on that creep.

I'm not too worried about James, but I am worried about the consequences for Hogwarts if Ruthless ever gets her hands on Dudley and his boxing skills. That might be fun to think about :)

I didn't comment on the previous installment, but I'm glad that Neville has taken charge of figuring out the RoR. Hope he can finish it soon.
riah_chan From: riah_chan Date: November 4th, 2007 08:10 am (UTC) (Link)
::wibble::
prelud From: prelud Date: November 4th, 2007 08:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Icon love!
prelud From: prelud Date: November 4th, 2007 08:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Dudley, who used to beat up smaller kids, is teaching Teddy how to get away from a bigger attacker. Excellent!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey, he came by the knowledge solidly! :)
jedi_chick From: jedi_chick Date: November 4th, 2007 08:51 am (UTC) (Link)
I find it hilarious that Vernon Dursley has a blog all about drills. He totally would, too. Dudley was great throughout this section, especially his offer to teach boxing to Teddy and his warning to James to not use the boxing on Al (and James's subsequent denial of never hitting his brother ;~)).

Teddy's six-year-old desire to be a dustbin man was great, as was his recognition of the "I will give something to Professor Lupin's son" look. And I can totally relate to feeling left out with the shared secret language thing--there are some things you just can't duplicate when you're an only child.

A few typos:
Teddy didn't follow most this. Missing an "of".

and she'd wanted him, she'd have invited him. I'm guessing there should be an "if", as I doubt Andromeda really wants Greyback around. ;~)
From: ethnotechno Date: November 4th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I agree, as an only child myself. I have never quite figured out the sibling relationship and how it works. I don't know if this happens to other onlies, but whenever I am in a relationship, I always end up feeling (slightly) jealous of my girlfriend's brothers. Took me a while to recognize that feeling, just weird.
(Deleted comment)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Finally realizing that he likes Harry better than he likes his parents probably helped.
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 4th, 2007 10:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Okay, you were really scaring me for a minute, having Teddy envy Harry his (childhood) relationship with Dudley!

I suppose his then comparing it to his own feelings for Honoria may be as much insight as we'll want him to get, though, if Dudley is going to turn out this cool (and later part of the family).

And Vernon being the one to have a blog made me lol.

Alex
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can see some upper management guy at Grunnings deciding that all of the departments ought to "use this Internet business" to humanize the drill-selling biz, and all of the middle-management guys awkwardly trying to act hip to it. They probably have a Wiki, too.
amamama From: amamama Date: November 4th, 2007 10:56 am (UTC) (Link)
About Greyback: and she'd wanted him, she'd have invited him. You're missing an 'if'.

That said, this was nice in an awkward sort of way. Intentionally awkward, I should add - Teddy feeling out of place, not understanding... And then Dudley comes to teach him how to box. Good one, hope he gleans some constructive information from it. That scrying bowl intrigues me, will we see more of it? Duh . of course we will, what's the use for it in the story if we don't? *grins*

Thanks, Fern!
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 4th, 2007 01:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

missing if

saying that she didn't care to have Fenrir Greyback in her house for Christmas, and IF she'd wanted him, she'd have invited him.

that's where it belongs, I think.
(Deleted comment)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
got_it_bub From: got_it_bub Date: November 4th, 2007 11:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Ahhh It's good to see Dudley's grown up.

When I was six I wanted to be a post(wo)man. He He!

Lavender is'ent a werewolf is she? no, it wasn't fullmoon

Really cool
got_it_bub From: got_it_bub Date: November 4th, 2007 01:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah, Does this Chapter have more than 3 parts?
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 4th, 2007 12:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Even though I'm not an orphan, I understand Teddy's family gathering dilemma. I'm on the older side of my cousins, and it seems that whenever I go to a family gathering, the cousins my age are never there, so I have to either play with the little kids (which can get tiring) or talk to the adults (which can get boring and frustrating).

I often bring a book along.

I love the dynamic between Harry and Dudley, and the dynamic between Dudley and Teddy even more. So realistically awkward, but sweet in its own way.
aeterna13 From: aeterna13 Date: November 4th, 2007 12:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah, that was me :)
(Deleted comment)
willowbough From: willowbough Date: November 4th, 2007 12:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Vernon Dursley with a blog? The mind boggles!

Still, it's good to see that Harry and Dudley have managed to forge their own connection, odd though it may appear to an outsider. Apropos of which, it was saddening to see Teddy feeling like an outsider in his own house, at a family Christmas. Maybe the boxing lessons will at least give him something to focus on.

Remus would be surprised and touched to see how many of his former students feel indebted enough to him to help his son, in so many different ways.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Remus would be surprised and touched to see how many of his former students feel indebted enough to him to help his son

Especially given the fact that he thought he failed at that assignment! But I imagine him spending a lot of time that year patiently talking to students, listening to them when they felt like unburdening themselves to the "cool" DADA teacher, treating them like equals when it was appropriate to do so... basically being one of those neat grown-ups who gave them a notion that it was safe to grow up.
sophiap From: sophiap Date: November 4th, 2007 12:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
James, dear, the way things are going, you're going to grow up to be an author, not an Auror.

I love how you've brought Dudley into this. The weird mix of awkwardness and camaraderie between him and Harry is perfect.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, yes. James will make it through Auror training, I think, but he's so not going to stay in the job. Maybe, in addition to writing, he'll even take the DADA post as well as writing.
From: kobegrace Date: November 4th, 2007 01:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
• The first thing I did before actually reading this chapter was do a page search -- but alas, neither the term "Parvati" nor "Patil" turned up. :(

• Then I came across "commentary about a girl"... Is this Parvati? Or has this not happened yet?

• Vernon Dursley's blog -- blog?!?!?! Oh, lord, that was priceless! I can just imagine it now: "Hello, everyone -- isn't the world a better place now that Grunnings's released its new 36V cordless? True, there's no getting away from the unorthodox drive size, but hi-speed, all metal transition at 14-bloody-hundred rpm? No offense to Pet, but I think I'm in ♥love♥..."

"If he gets your wand away from you, you might run into trouble getting away. I asked Harry if I could teach you how to win against someone bigger than you without magic." He seemed pleased to have got through the sentence, and smiled. "I was a boxer," he added. "Your mum and dad saw me fight once." -- OMG. Fern, I think I'm falling into smitten-ess with Dudley Dursley.

Bye!!! :)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm trying to decide if JKR's comment about Dudley's children and Harry's disliking each other implies that they're close to the same age (and therefore, that Dudley's wife and kids are at Vernon and Petunia's while he does a quick visit up to his cousin), or if him marrying this much later can still work.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand
marikenobi From: marikenobi Date: November 4th, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I want a singing poinsettia for Christmas!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Who, other than Vernon and Petunia, wouldn't?!
allie_meril From: allie_meril Date: November 4th, 2007 03:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, Dudley. I'm liking you more and more. His manner is spot-on: worried about being there, a bit paranoid about the food, but trying to be accepting of it all anyway. And he and Harry have a shared secret language! What a great touch. I'm so glad that they're friend-ish now, it makes all the terrible years at the Dursleys come full circle for Harry.

and she'd wanted him, she'd have invited him. "If."
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
He has good reason to be paranoid about the food!

Whatever else is true about Dudley, he and Harry did share a very bizarre growing-up environment, with a load of secrets to keep!
lollapulizer From: lollapulizer Date: November 4th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm loving the irony of Dudley teaching a kid he would have beat up in high school how to box. I love reformed!Dudley!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, yeah, Teddy's totally of the class of kid he'd have beaten the crap out of. Smart, maybe a little fussy, and he plays an RPG. It's practically asking for it from someone like teen!Dudley. So teaching him to defend himself is appropriate penance.
darth_pipes From: darth_pipes Date: November 4th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
I loved that post, Fern. One of the best so far.

I can definitely appreciate the line about Harry and Dudley having a kind of secret language. My brother and I are like that, quoting various references we've heard over the last twenty years in different ways. My sister-in-law usually doesn't know what the hell we're talking about.

Vernon has a blog?! That's got to be fun when he ventures off-topic and you know that he does. Might have to suggest that the new time you do a fic challenge.

Definitely enjoy the Teddy/Dudley dynamic and I'm looking forward to seeing more. The end of that fic is what lead into your Teddy/James short fic, right?
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Vernon has a blog?!

I thought that would be amusing. Especially if he blogs after enough sherry with Marge. The Ministry has to be working overtime keeping track of what Muggle-borns' relatives say online. At least until they figure out that no one believes them, anyway.

Yes, this leads into the James fic, though of course it'll be from Teddy's point of view and get into why he's moping out in the garden anyway.
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 4th, 2007 04:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
My main connection to boxing is the stories that are still told about a distant relation who lived around the turn of the century. He and his family were, shall we say, the wrong minority for the town they lived in. People would cross to the other side of the street when they saw them and hurl insults, that sort of thing.

Then, word got out that he'd been a professional boxer. He agreed to give a demonstration, 5 or 15 minute rounds (I can never remember which without checking) or until someone was knocked out.

After the first seven were carried out, the last declined to go in.

And people were much more polite to them after that.

Dudley, the bully who's now on the side of the little guy, is just reminding me of that.

And I bet all of Teddy's Muggles and Minions friends will think it's so cool that he received training in the mysterious martial arts of the Muggles over the holidays.

For Dudley's sake, I hope he finds traveling by side along apparition is more comfortable than Flooing. I assume Harry is going to take him back once getting past the protections around the house?

As for James and Albus, I'm sure James doesn't think he was lying. "Hitting" Albus probably means "beating him up when he can't fight back or continuing to pummel him _after_ he can no longer fight back _when_ it's clear James has already won the fight." If it isn't the first or the two subclauses in the second don't apply, it's not hitting within in the letter of the sibling law.

ELlen
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 4th, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
I assume Harry is going to take him back once getting past the protections around the house?

Either that, or Andromeda will drive him home in the Volkswagen, though he might be more comfortable Apparating than being seen arriving in the hippie-mobile.

If it isn't the first or the two subclauses in the second don't apply, it's not hitting within in the letter of the sibling law.

Ah, yes, of course. Sibling law is a deep and complex sort of subject!
From: (Anonymous) Date: November 5th, 2007 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Amber

"He'd heard enough commentary about a girl he happened to be going out with, and also wanted to avoid an appearance on his father's 'blog.'" Hahahahhaa! I love it.

Dudley teaching Teddy how to box - really kind of sweet. Odd how anything with Dudley could be sweet, but..
kiwi_kimi From: kiwi_kimi Date: November 5th, 2007 07:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I really enjoyed that! A lovely link with both canon and previous Fernon :-)

I have a theory: Remus would have been perfectly competent at Memory charms had his conscience not made him feel deeply uncomfortable about using them. He didn't deliberately make a bad job of them, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it thoroughly.
From: ltj_ska_girl127 Date: November 5th, 2007 01:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is my first time ever commenting on your stories, but I've been reading them for a while now. I love them. I adore your Teddy and your adult Harry. They're both so perfect. Also, Ruthless is, by far, my most favorite OC ever. I just love reading about her.

Dudley teaching Teddy how to box is awesome! I laughed so hard when James said he never hits Al, because it reminded me of my older brothers who sweared they never hit each other, but the next moment, they're doing just that.

Well, I hope you have a great day!
hermia7 From: hermia7 Date: November 5th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I feel stupid being worried, but I hope you're ok!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 5th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm fine, I just got a killer eyestrain headache last night and couldn't stand to look at the computer screen anymore.
izhilzha From: izhilzha Date: November 5th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dudley teaching Teddy to fight...that's amazing and wonderful, and I'm so glad you've brought Dudley into the story. Especially after JKR confirmed for us in DH that he's capable of real change, in whatever increments.
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