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Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 21: Unspeakable, pt. 3 - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 21: Unspeakable, pt. 3
Mathilde and Greyback are frustrating to track, as, other than taking Vivian, they haven't actually made any traceable moves. Hermione called in the Department of Mysteries to investigate how Mathilde might be moving. Teddy is coming up with ideas of his own (including house elf magic, which Harry's going to talk to Kreacher about).

Chapter 12 of Forest Guard is up, with the usual sorts of fixes. I also changed the location of the dream to remove the unintentional red herring about the Elder Wand.

Table of Contents and Summary So Far




The days passed, and March became April. Professor Longbottom's round face began to take on a thin, hopeless look, and frequently, Teddy would see other people in his office or in the greenhouses. His angry outbursts in class had stopped after he'd yelled at Laura. Laura had decided that something deeply tragic had happened to him, but apparently didn't connect it to Vivian. At Muggles and Minions, Tinny said that Laura was driving her quite crazy with dormitory speculation about the matter. "Never occurs to her," Tinny said when most of the group was occupied with something else, "what it might really be. Pretty girls never think that the rest of us might have anyone interested."

Teddy suspected she was looking for confirmation of her suspicion, and decided to change the subject instead. "You're pretty enough."

"No I'm not. If I were pretty, Laura wouldn't spend half her life trying to improve me." She closed her eyes and raised her eyebrows, stretching her eyelids out so that Teddy could see very horrible wedges of alternating pink and orange powder. "She found it in Teen Witch. I can't believe I let her do it."

"Me, either," Teddy said.

Tinny seemed a little nonplussed by this, and Teddy was quite glad when Frankie decided to move the game's action back to the campus, where Tinny played an archivist who was helping Maurice's computer expert break a code. She seemed happy to be back at it as well.

Teddy found himself going on with his normal life more than he thought he ought to. He sometimes stumbled over a thought of Greyback, or Mathilde, or Vivian, and it would consume him, wondering how he hadn't been thinking about it, but then it would go away, and he'd be back in the life of the school. He wondered if this was how it had been during the war. All of the pictures he'd seen of his parents during the last year of their life--the worst year of the war--showed them looking deliriously happy. That was right for them, as they only had that year and wouldn't get another chance to be happy, but Teddy felt that he really ought to be thinking of the important things more than he actually was. They just made his brain tired.

Victoire and Story were in peace talks over the hex war, but what Victoire really wanted, she said during a long, lazy conversation by the Gryffindor fireplace, was a grand alliance to take on Slytherin and Hufflepuff next. Ruthless was asked out by Chet Fleming, the fifth year Chaser, who she'd always detested, and they'd ended up hexing each other and getting detention. Victoire's dormitory mates all seemed to think they would come back from detention engaged--Teddy guessed they were reading Fifi LaFolle, too--but they just came back covered with dragon dung fertilizer and cursing at each other quite colorfully. Teddy was relieved by this. There were essays and tests, and a particularly nasty quiz in Professor Firenze's Divination class that nearly everyone failed, as the goal was to divine the place of divination in the universe. A week before the full moon, Teddy found Professor Slughorn looking miserably at an empty cauldron, and another thought of Vivian came from nowhere. He had no reason to start brewing Wolfsbane Potion this month.

As Teddy's fourteenth birthday rushed up, he began to have nightmares about opening packages from Fenrir Greyback, each of them containing a piece of someone's body. He thought they were Vivian's at first (one, in fact, contained her magical eye), but the more he unwrapped, the more he knew who was really in them, and when he opened the last package, containing Dad's long fingers and a lock of Mum's pink hair, he'd wake up sweating. The first time, he thought he might have actually cried, but if he had, Checkmate had licked up the tears too quickly for him to really notice. He decided that he'd prefer not to know.

The last of these dreams came the night before his birthday, and he stayed in his bed for a long time while the sun rose, afraid of any owls that might start to come. Finally, he just braced himself. Greyback wouldn't know it was his birthday, after all; if he meant to send something, he'd have sent it before.

The owls started arriving halfway through breakfast. The first was from the Potters. Uncle Harry promised to bring a cake on Thursday (along with his present, which wouldn't be a surprise), though Aunt Ginny had sent one this morning as well. Aunt Ginny had given him a book of household spells. Al and Lily had drawn him pictures. James sent a very carefully written story, in which Julia and Raymond encountered a kelpie in the ocean off the island. Someone had apparently told him that kelpies only lived in fresh water, as, at the top of a page, he'd laboriously added, "And this was a special kelpie who lived in the sea and was much more dangerous." An old witch at the island's Ministry gave them special permission to use magic, and they did Bubblehead Charms to swim underwater to the kelpie's cave, where they fought it, and found out that it was guarding not a treasure--somewhat to Teddy's surprise--but "the most beautiful princess in the world." Said princess was described as having long curly red hair and light brown eyes. She also played Quidditch and was a Beater, and ended up tied up with Raymond and Julia for a time. He'd got Al to draw a picture at the mostly empty bottom of the last page, which showed Raymond, Julia, the princess, and the kelpie all waving cheerfully. Either Aunt Ginny or Uncle Harry had charmed it so that they were actually waving.

He grinned--the names had stung less, coming surrounded by one of James's stories instead of his own--and passed it over to Victoire to read, as two more owls had come while he was going through it. One of them was from Granny, who'd sent him a new book bag and a blank, leather-covered journal. The other was from Professor McGonagall, who'd sent a curious book on accidents in human Transfiguration, which showed some soberingly disgusting pictures. Ruthless sidled over and gave him a photograph of the pair of them at Weird World, which she'd found a frame for somewhere. In it, she had her arm hooked around his neck. They looked more like they were wrestling than going out, but it was still a cheerful sort of picture.

"To memorialize the temporary insanity of your thirteenth year," she said, then checked quickly to see if anyone was looking. She darted her head in and gave him a quick kiss, then drew back and said, "That was just for your birthday, so don't get thoughts."

Teddy nodded, and decided that a visit to her house was in order for her fifteenth birthday in August. He looked up and noticed that Victoire had finished the story, and looked about ready to throw something at him.

"Oy, Lupin!"

He looked up to find Frankie coming toward him with two packages, one large, one quite small. The Apcarnes had generally only given him one gift from the whole family since the year he was six, and had been so enchanted with the thought of presents that Maddie had carefully wrapped each piece of a chess set, and split them among family members, even baby Carny, to give to him. "Hey," he said, moving over to give Frankie room at the Gryffindor table.

Frankie put the presents down. The big one turned out to be a board game--"Dad thinks you should take it to your Common Room and spend some time playing it with the other blokes there." Teddy rolled his eyes. The small one was purely from Maddie, and Frankie was as interested as he was in what she'd sent. He tore away the black and yellow paper and pulled out a smooth black box.

"What is it?" Teddy asked.

"It's a puzzle," Frankie said, looking confused. "Mum's got one like it. I played with it for a long time when I was little, but I couldn't get it open. I decided I had better things to do. Teddy, I hate to say it, but I think my Mum might be out to drive you crazy, giving you that."

Teddy laughed. He got several presents from other people during the course of the day, but Maddie's puzzle was what he kept coming back to. He didn't get it open, and finally set it aside at night to pick up the next time he had a few minutes to do away with.

The full moon rose two days later, and Teddy again went to the Astronomy Tower. He thought of Mathilde, hatching her plots, and Greyback... he didn't want to think of what Greyback might be doing. He thought of Vivian, and, judging by the light that burned long into the night in greenhouse two, he wasn't the only one. Mainly, he thought about how stupid life was, which wasn't a very productive thing to think about. Stupid. All of it. Living here in his little bubble, protected on every side (and from above, of course), worrying about his birthday when the first child his parents had dragged in from the darkness together was going though things that didn't bear thinking of. He didn't sleep, and thought about not doing his homework, but of course, the homework needed to be done. The only thing more petty than doing Trelawney's Divination homework would be trying to get out of it by using Vivian's disappearance as an excuse.

He went down to breakfast as soon as he could. It was crowded, as it had generally been after full moons this year, and tense until the owls swooped in, carrying the day's news. Teddy decided he ought to subscribe himself, but Ruthless handed him hers without looking at it herself first. He unfolded it, and the headline told him the bad news immediately: "WEREWOLF ATTACK!"

The worse news was in the article itself. It had been a brutal, bloody attack, leaving two small children dead and their elder sister--entrusted with their care for the evening--broken, bloodied, and cursed.

The worst news came at the end. Rita Skeeter had managed to interview the victim at St. Mungo's somehow. The girl was hysterical, according to the article, and couldn't describe much, but one thing she was absolutely sure of, one thing that seemed to her to define everything she'd seen: The werewolf who'd attacked them had only one eye.
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sonetka From: sonetka Date: December 4th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh lord ... I'm feeling sick for all of these characters, especially Vivian once the sun rises. Greyback cannot buy it soon (or nastily) enough.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Only a few more chapters. And I believe I will enjoy dispatching M. Greyback.
From: fhsaffar Date: December 4th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC) (Link)
1.*sob*
2.Is that puzzle some Department of Mysteries entry test? Or online quiz? lol!
3.YAY! First comment!
4.*sooooob*
From: fhsaffar Date: December 4th, 2007 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Oops! Second comment. Oh well.
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beceh From: beceh Date: December 4th, 2007 06:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh no!! Vivian!!!!! (great chapter!)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Yeah, Viv's in trouble.
rdprice29 From: rdprice29 Date: December 4th, 2007 06:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, dear...

I liked the gifts Teddy got, though.

Poor, poor Vivian. :(
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Greyback's point is comeuppance. I don't want to think what he'd do to Pere Alderman.
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allie_meril From: allie_meril Date: December 4th, 2007 06:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, damn it. Fenrir you *idiot*, ruining Teddy's birthday like that. Does he know when Teddy was born? How could he know, they were in hiding!

I like Maddie's puzzle box: a miniature test to see who has Unspeakable skills? James and his stories make me grin.
allie_meril From: allie_meril Date: December 4th, 2007 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)

and one tiny typo

showed them looking deliriously happy.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2007 07:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh Vivian. Please be less full of self-doubt than Remus. I hope you recover from this.

Fern, I loved the Tinny/archivist comment. Being an archivist myself it's great to see how we're mentioned/thought of. I can't remember from Marauder's Roost what Tinny ends up doing. But archivist could be a fun option?

-Sqveege

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I definitely have Teddy's career picked out (at least until JKR decides he became a famous Quidditch player). That's why Maddie's giving him weird little puzzle presents... ;p But as a librarian, I fully approve of all archival care as well, and I have both of Remus's parents as archivists. :)
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amamama From: amamama Date: December 4th, 2007 07:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh God... Poor Vivian! I guess she's so battered and bruised that she didn't manage to hold on to her humanity when she transformed - if it was her. Iirc, Greyback even managed to trick Remus into killing, and I guess Fenny boy is even nastier now - plus he has Mathilde. Urk. Usually this story is an uplifting way to start the day, now someone has poured lead into my stomach. Gah - I need to remember this is fiction! But then again, I tend to experience what I read (which makes me read less fiction than I really want to, because it's hard to handle all the emotions), for better or worse. No wonder Neville is taking on a gaunt look - I would, too. *hugs him*

Maddie's puzzle is interesting, is it a unspeakable-test? *grins* Like, if you can solve it, you've got the way of thinking needed to be an unspeakable?

Cheers!

ETA: Funny seeing how many reviews came after I'd opened the story page - and that we noticed the same things. So I removed my nitpicking - you don't need it twice. :)

Edited at 2007-12-04 07:56 am (UTC)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Maddie's puzzle is interesting, is it a unspeakable-test? *grins* Like, if you can solve it, you've got the way of thinking needed to be an unspeakable?

Pretty much. Though maybe more along the line of, "If you actually stick to this silly thing long enough and try enough approaches, you may have the personality it takes to be an academic Unspeakable."
kiwi_kimi From: kiwi_kimi Date: December 4th, 2007 08:44 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, that's tragic! The attack on those children, and what Greyback's done to poor Vivian. And I somehow feel there's worse to come. That was very well written (which is why it was so affecting).

And now to be trivial: I think "the days news" should have an apostrophe.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes, it definitely needs an apostrophe.

Greyback sucks a lot. Or, as I was reminded... Greyback bites.
hermia7 From: hermia7 Date: December 4th, 2007 08:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh ugh. Well, that spells the end of Vivian at Hogwarts, no matter where her story goes from here... I can't imagine that she would agree to come back after this, much less be allowed by the ever-waffling public. Ugh.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
More or less, yes. Fenrir Greyback, champion of werewolf rights, right there.
jedi_chick From: jedi_chick Date: December 4th, 2007 09:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Just when you think Greyback can't get any more evil... How dare he do something like that to Vivian! And once again, poor Neville!

Teddy really does take after his dad in guilt complexes, doesn't he? I did like his relief about Ruthless not accepting Chet Fleming. And all of his birthday presents were very fun, especially James's story and Maddie's puzzle.

I'll be looking forward to whatever comes next!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Teddy really does take after his dad in guilt complexes, doesn't he?

Oh, yes. The boy feels guilty about doing his homework. Even Remus, at this point, might say, "Get over it." At the same time, maybe it's me, but when something very bad or very big has happened and I find myself not thinking about it, I feel awful about it, especially if I've been thinking about something fun and frivolous instead.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2007 09:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Oh, oh, oh

"when he opened the last package, ..., he'd wake up sweating". Woken?

You didn't say what gender the one-eyed werewolf was, so maybe Vivian's got Fenrir (or Mathilde?) back for her missing eye already? I can hope for now, right? (Although she'd probably be in even worse trouble in the pack after doing such a thing... Hm... [tries to come up with a good way out of this, fails, and decides to trust Fern, for now...])

& I'm wondering if that puzzle isn't so much a solve-this-and-you-have-Unspeakable-potential thing as a keep-going-with-this-even-though-it's-clearly-insoluble-and-you-might-have-Unspeakable-potential thing.

Oops, nearly forgot - Teddy being oblivious enough to give Victoire the story about rescuing the red-haired-beater-princess to enjoy, and staying oblivious when V wants to throw stuff after this and Ruthless kissing him. Nice relief point to the misery!

Alex
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh, oh, oh

"when he opened the last package, ..., he'd wake up sweating". Woken?


No, it's an ongoing thing. When this happened in each dream, he'd wake up sweating.

I don't think anyone checked under the werewolf's tail, though that sounds like a unique way to commit suicide. :P
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2007 11:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh no! Please say that Fenny just decided to remove another's eye and it wasn't Vivian! Noooo!
Great chapter! I like McGonagall's gift. Very cool.
~sam
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Please say that Fenny just decided to remove another's eye and it wasn't Vivian!

Sorry. No can do.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2007 11:57 am (UTC) (Link)

Shloz

De-lurking to cheer you on!

This is going great! I see Greyback still gets a kick out of "breaking" werewolfs who consider themselves civilized... :-(

BTW, happy Hanukkah!


nitpick: "...handed him hers without looking at herself first."
I think you need an "it" there.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Shloz

I definitely need an "it" there.

Greyback's a skeeze who wants everyone else to be just as skeezy. He definitely takes more pleasure in breaking "uppity" werewolves than in killing them.
redlily From: redlily Date: December 4th, 2007 12:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, BOLLOCKS. Poor, poor Vivian. And poor family that was attacked.

Did Victoire just get asked out by someone four years her senior? Phew!! That's a little . . . disturbing. Glad that she's well caught-up on her hexes.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
No, that was Ruthless. Victoire's dormitory mates, in the fashion of eleven-year-old girls, were just gossiping about it.
From: smishli Date: December 4th, 2007 12:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor, poor Vivian. Greyback's payback can't come soon enough!

On a less serious note, Ruthless really likes sneaking in those kisses, doesn't she? :) I laughed about "the most beautiful princess in the world". Does James have a little crush, now?
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ruthless really likes sneaking in those kisses, doesn't she? :)
That's a trait that's going to stay with her, I think. She may have found one place where she, in the words of the song, enjoys being a girl.

James still thinks girls have cooties, but he may well allow that Ruthless has a less active colony of cooties than most.... ;p
marikenobi From: marikenobi Date: December 4th, 2007 12:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh no! Vivian!!! Poor Teddy to have his birthday ruined like that.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, he mostly managed to ruin his own birthday by psyching himself out, but he did that because Greyback's spoiled so much of his year.
persephone_kore From: persephone_kore Date: December 4th, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, Vivian. *wibble*
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
She's definitely nowhere near a good place.
willowbough From: willowbough Date: December 4th, 2007 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
As much as Teddy reproaches himself for getting caught up in normal life while Greyback's atrocities continue, he needs that in order to stay sane. Otherwise he'll be in no condition to fight back when Greyback comes for him. Chilling series of nightmares, though!

Poor Vivian! But I'm going to hope against hope that matters may not be quite what they seem, regarding the one-eyed werewolf. And I don't doubt that Greyback is doing his utmost to strip away her humanity while she's his captive.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
No one can think about big things for long, sustained periods of time without going crazy. (Or, as Shirley Jackson more eloquently puts it, "No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.")
lollapulizer From: lollapulizer Date: December 4th, 2007 02:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor Vivian. I just hope after she's saved she doesn't get punished for the attack...it wasn't really under her control. Arg, I hate Greyback.

The puzzle Maddie gave Teddy reminds me of this puzzle from in the TV show Alias that the CIA used to determine whether or not a child had the right mind to become an agent.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 03:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Grrr... like I accidentally said anonymously above, I guess that means I'd better take it out. I've never seen Alias and didn't know about that. Didn't mean to steal a device!

Given the wizarding world... I could see Vivian being punished.
obsfuscation From: obsfuscation Date: December 4th, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, crap. Oh, Vivian.

From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2007 04:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Here I am once again finding out my commitment to supporting no cruel and unusual punishment goes right out the window at least where Greyback's concerned. I'm trying to think of a punishment fitting enough for him. Quick death does not seem quite enough.

Although, granted, I think I'd be satisfied if he got transformed into a puppet and got to spend the rest of his life as all the characters in Punch and Judy shows who spend their days getting whacked by a two by four. The comic and not entirely real edge to that makes me think that I may not have lost all moral sense.

Of course, I'm not saying that's the only horrible fate I've thought of for him.

But PLEASE, SAVE VIVIAN!!!!! Even if it means Neville has to marry Hannah of his own free will and not while he's on the rebound, SAVE VIVIAN!!!!!

Ellen
carlinpaddy From: carlinpaddy Date: December 4th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Greyback Torture

Hmmm, I've heard that tweezing every single hair on the body worked well in one culture, perhaps do that and one day a week the Chinese water torture, death of a million cuts would be interesting; yet only do that once in a while so he doesn't actually die, at least not for years. Remove every tooth in his head so he can't bite. I want to throw in a dementor somewhere but I'm not sure how effective that would be. These are a few mild treatments I think would suffice. My whole "cruel and unusual punishment views aren't completely in tact yet as I'm sure you've notice and Greyback brings out the worse in me! I doubt if anyone here would hate me for that, but please don't hate me if you disagree with me.
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carlinpaddy From: carlinpaddy Date: December 4th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Tinny

I like Tinny, she seems normal. She's not abnormally pretty like V (I imagine her looking like her mom in the GF book, not the movie, I thought the movie didn't go over the top like a 1/4 Veela should be. A little pretty, but not quite what I expected, the movie reminded me more of myself than a veela) But the way you write her (Tinny) she seems very pretty, but doesn't gloat. I like her patience with Laura. Though I hope you don't write her (Laura) role as being the oblivious-beautiful-girl. I see that too much irl.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tinny

Tinny really is sort of plain, but Teddy likes her a lot, and so sees her as perfectly decent looking once he gets to know her. She's pretty in the way all girls are pretty on some level, I think. Laura knows she's pretty, and she assumes being pretty is important to everyone, and really is trying to help Tinny--she sees herself, probably, as Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club. Though she has questionable taste if she's painting Tinny's eyebrows pink and orange. ;p She oblvious only to the idea that Tinny is seeing it as proof that she's not pretty at all. Laura probably thinks she's bringing out that beauty that Tinny keeps trying to hide. She's not a bad sort. She's just very, very girly.
darth_pipes From: darth_pipes Date: December 4th, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. Hell of an ending to go with. Poor Vivian.

Great job, Fern. Christmas and birthdays were always fun in the books and your story is no exception.

"The other was from Professor McGonagall, who'd sent a curious book on accidents in human Transfiguration, which showed some soberingly disgusting pictures."

Got to love a person who can be that blunt with you. ;)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 4th, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Got to love a person who can be that blunt with you. ;)

Yeah. McG's sharp.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 4th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Greyback is such a BIG FAT JERKFACE. If you have a moment of insanity and decide to make this a crossover, I wouldn't mind reading about Hannibal Lector eating his liver for breakfast.

This was a sweet little tidbit in the middle of everything:

The first time, he thought he might have actually cried, but if he had, Checkmate had licked up the tears too quickly for him to really notice.

Cats are sweet like that, aren't they? =)

-Amber
From: kobegrace Date: December 4th, 2007 08:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can't comment in a way that would make sense, because right now, I can't think, because this chapterlet is blowing my mind away. Holy. Like, OMG.

Checkmate is cute. Note to self: must get a cat. No, don't get a cat, because cats are a responsibility and not a novelty. There will be no getting of cats.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 5th, 2007 12:28 am (UTC) (Link)
oh, but they totally make up for it! and as far as care goes, they're the easiest step up from a hamster or something.

but definitely don't do what i did, which was look at the pets on the humane society website before i'd decided for certain i wanted to get a cat :) because then i was done for, lol.
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