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The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
Batch 27: Marauder Generation (5)
I'd like another ficlet along the lines of that one you wrote for me a while back, where Dora's in that 11-year-old period of learning about the differences between the sexes and having awkward thoughts about Mr. Lupin. (In the previous ficlet, she read a romance novel that one of her classmates had and they giggled over it, then when she went home and hugged Lupin, she got all blushy. I could scrounge up a link if you want. I just loved the hilarious awkwardness of it all.) for severely_lupine

[It's here, if anyone wants it.]
"What do you suppose it's like," Maddie Madrigan began, "if one person is a lot shorter than the other or whatnot? I mean, does the taller one have to do backbends or something, or do they just not kiss at the same time they're Doing It?"

"I don't know," Lizzie Blandeshin said. "The books talk about a great lot of noise, which is hard to make when you're kissing, so maybe they're not supposed to be kissing."

Tonks bit her lip, as she was thinking of a lady she'd once seen Mr. Lupin going about with. Healer Patil. She was a good deal shorter than he was, and if they ever Did It, it would look awfully funny. She wondered if they had, and if so, if Healer Patil's height had made it difficult. She'd never even seen them kiss. Actually, she wasn't sure how Mr. Lupin might have reached far down enough even for that without getting a crick in his neck.

Come to think of it, Dad was a bit taller than Mum as well, but she found that she wanted even less to think about that.

Eleanor Drake sat up in bed, frowning. "What do you suppose it's like to have something dangling down there all the time? D'you reckon it gets in their way? I mean, you'd think it would."

This worthy question was met with equal degrees of confused interest from all four of them.

"Maybe we should ask one," Tonks suggested. "Sanjiv will answer anything. He'll probably want to know about how it feels to have bosoms hanging off our fronts or something, though."

Everyone looked to Maddie, who was the only one who had bosoms big enough to feel like they were hanging off of anything. She made a face and said, "I am not talking to Sanjiv about my breasts."

"Maybe Fifi wrote something about it," Tonks suggested, reaching for the growing pile of paperbacks under her bed.

"Why would Fifi know?" Eleanor asked. "She doesn't have one any more than we do. We should read a book by a boy author."

"Oh!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Wait a moment, my brother got in a good deal of trouble last year--"

"You'd ask your brother?" Maddie asked. "Ew."

"No! He got in trouble because Mum found a dirty story under his mattress. There's a sixth year boy called Zoltan Burr. He writes them, and sells them for five sickles each."

There was some discussion of this possibility, but the chance of being caught with the artifact was too high, and approaching a sixth year boy would probably be noticed right away. Eleanor suggested tying something off a belt to let it dangle and see if it was annoying, but that would also be hard to explain if anyone caught them at it.

"Could you morph one?" Maddie asked Tonks, biting her lip. "You know, just... stretch something or whatnot, and tell us?"

This seemed a fruitful possibility. Tonks had, after all, once been able to morph breasts (though they had seemed more like ice cream cones pasted to her chest). She went behind her curtains for privacy and concentrated as hard as she could, but she couldn't seem to get the hang of the thing. She leaned out and shook her head. "Sorry. Guess that's beyond what I can do. Reckon boy metamorphmagi couldn't give themselves what we have, either."

"You can turn your nose into a dog's nose!"

"Yeah, but it's still a nose," Tonks pointed out. "And my liver is still where it belongs, and I can't turn my eyes into ears. Reckon if I had a... you know... I could make it turn all sorts of colors and maybe grow feathers, but I can't make myself have something I don't. There are potions..."

Maddie giggled. "Feathers? I wonder if they'd tickle. I can just see it in a Fifi LaFolle book." She adopted the airy tone they used for Fifi's heroines. "'Evangeline looked up at him, his broad chest heaving, feathers shedding off from under his kilt...'"

An image came unbidden to Tonks's mind, of Mr. Lupin, standing on a cliff somewhere, with the wind whipping at a kilt, revealing something that looked very like a parrot pecking at his thighs. She covered her mouth and laughed, feeling her face get hot.

The giggles passed around, until they were all beet red. In the end, they all decided to just go ask the boys. Tonks, who was considered the bravest, knocked on their dormitory door. Daffy opened it, wearing a tee shirt and shorts.

Tonks broke down giggling, and didn't ask a thing.

Peter. Giving thanks for something. for vesta_aurelia
"Thank you," Peter said as they walked away from the Hog's Head. "Thank you for trusting me, Sirius."

Sirius turned, frustrated. It wouldn't do for Peter to start acting strange, at least not now. "'Course I trust you. With the secret about what I'm getting my girlfriend for Valentine's next year, right?"

Peter nodded. "Right. Valentine's Day."

Sirius grimaced, and cast an illusion spell around them. It was one Andromeda had taught him, one they used to keep conversations about patients private at St. Mungo's. To a casual passerby, they'd seem to having an animated conversation about an upcoming Puddlemere game. "Peter, you can't look like anything's different. The whole point of doing this will be to throw them off the scent. They'll almost certainly try to catch me. They'll think James would never trust anyone else. That's the picture we've got to paint."

"They'll torture you," Peter said shakily, his face pale. "Sirius, you know they will."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. But they can torture me all they like--I still won't be able to tell them what they want. Meanwhile, you'll be sitting comfortably in Kent, and no one will think to look there."

Peter sighed. "I guess you couldn't have trusted Remus. Not the way he's been sneaking around. So I was the only one left."

"When we find the mole, and it's not Remus, I'll apologize to him," Sirius said. "I can't believe..." He shook his head. It seemed impossible that Remus, of all people, would betray them, but Peter had brought back news about how well Remus was apparently fitting in with a pack of werewolves. It was probably an assignment, almost certainly a ruse...

But with a mole in the Order, he couldn't take the chance that Remus had gone native. After all, as Peter had pointed out, there wasn't much the Order could offer him, even if they won. The Potters lives were in danger. Hiding them in the trust of someone who might be slipping information to Voldemort would be mad.

"So," Peter said, "like I said--I guess I was the only one left, but still--thank you."

"You the one that's left of the four of us," Sirius said. "But I took you over the rest of the Order."

"Even Dumbledore," Peter said softly.

"Especially Dumbledore," Sirius said.

"You don't imagine he's the mole?"

"No. But if I were Voldemort, I'd be doing everything to break Dumbledore. If anything does break, I don't want James's family in the damage path."


"But I chose you over Moody and Diggle and even McGonagall."

Peter looked down at his feet, and again said, "Thank you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on, Peter, you'll do fine. No one will come and gather you up. I'll take the heat. You just relax."

"Right. Relax."

"Peter, we promised we'd have one another's backs. We promised that a long time ago. You have James's back. I have yours. And we'll all have Remus's when we find out who the real mole is."

"What if it is?" Peter asked. "I mean, what if you just can't stand to think of it being one of your friends?"

"If it is, I'd kill him. I wouldn't want to, but I would." Peter blanched, and Sirius shook his head, moving on. "Don't worry, Peter. It's not going to turn out to be Remus. We'll all sit down after the war and have a drink together, and laugh that we ever suspected him."


"Come on," Sirius said. "Why don't we go out for a drink ourselves before we do this Charm?"

"Yeah," Peter said again. "Yeah... thank you."
16 comments or Leave a comment
nundu_art From: nundu_art Date: February 7th, 2012 02:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
The first one is delightful (I pondered the dangly thing myself at that age).

The second one made me sick. Not your writing, the concept.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 7th, 2012 03:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
(I pondered the dangly thing myself at that age)

Yeah, I riffed that conversation off ones actually had a slumber parties...
From: severely_lupine Date: February 7th, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heehee! Thanks! That first one is so cute, and totally questions girls that age would ask. Frankly, I still wonder about those things sometimes. It's such a strange thing, this whole other type of person, if you think about it. Though I have to wonder what Lupin's reaction would be if she ever actually asked him about him and Mahadi. Not that she would, but it would probably be pretty funny.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 8th, 2012 04:19 am (UTC) (Link)
She might casually ask if, you know, he and Healer Patil had been really close. And he's thinking, "Er... went to dinner with her a couple of times..."


But I totally remember at that age, wondering that about every couple everywhere, no matter how little time they'd been going out.

Edited at 2012-02-08 04:20 am (UTC)
From: severely_lupine Date: February 8th, 2012 04:27 am (UTC) (Link)
There are still some times when I see married couples, and I can't help thinking, "How does that... work?" (And of course, sometimes it's just a bit squicky, when the woman's so small that she looks like a child next to the man. Like in a lot of manga/anime, which mostly seem to exist in a world where all men are at least a head taller than all women.)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 8th, 2012 04:49 am (UTC) (Link)
As long as we don't consider the Hagrid family too closely...
From: severely_lupine Date: February 8th, 2012 05:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh sheesh, that's just... mind-bleachy. (I mean, honestly, from the description, it sounds like Mr. Hagrid's entire body was roughly the size of a normal male giant's--ehem--tool. And given the giant's apparent intelligence, what on earth would possess a normal wizard to be attracted to one anyway? It certainly wasn't for her looks. Why, Rowling?! Why do you abandon logic so frequently?! I mean, half-goblin I can go with, maybe even house-elf at a stretch, but human/giant relations I'm simply not buying.)
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 8th, 2012 09:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Hmmm, makes me wonder... You know, I guess the wizard/witch in question could probably make him/herself temporary bigger by magic, or shrink the giant(ess) he/she loves. Doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility in a magic world... Just a thought.
vesta_aurelia From: vesta_aurelia Date: February 7th, 2012 04:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ow. Oh, Peter. Peter, you damned fool.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 8th, 2012 04:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah. He's totally got people who would lay down their lives for him, but he's not willing to risk it.
etain_antrim From: etain_antrim Date: February 7th, 2012 05:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love the first! (And I like your reasoning for why Dora can't morph to see.) The second is so sad -- deluded Sirius and weak Peter.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 8th, 2012 04:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I've always written her as not being able to do that particular morph, and I figured it was time I came up with a reason why! (Other than leading to Remus and Sirius teasing her about the mysterious things men talk about while they're sitting around braiding each other's hair.)
mollywheezy From: mollywheezy Date: February 7th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
The first one is hilarious! I almost choked at Tonks' image of Lupin. *dies laughing*

If you ever do another request for prompts, I will have to remember to ask for a married Tonks/Lupin drabble where she tells him about this . . . ;D

The one with Peter was SO SAD. If only . . . :(
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 8th, 2012 04:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a feeling the parrot under the kilt is a secret to be kept even beyond the grave...

(Though at least she didn't picture it as a hummingbird...)

Edited at 2012-02-08 04:23 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous) Date: February 7th, 2012 06:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd wondered, off and on, how Sirius expected to get through questioning. Kind of obvious, he didn't expect them to aske the right questions. Still seems a bit shaky, planwise, to me but 1) Optimism of youth, and 2) Sirius knows more about magical interrogation than I do. Literal-mindedness could be a logical factor, especially if the person has some ability to block magical legilimens (what's the plural form of that?) and so on, and I expect Sirius knew about blocking (side effects of being in his family).

So, if the interrogator kept asking the wrong question/giving the wrong command, and it's one the interrogatee can't answer, if probably looks the same as the interrogatee still won't answer. Ergo, the demand is just repeated at higher intensity.

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: February 8th, 2012 04:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, you'd think that at some point, they'd expect the person to break, and when he didn't, realize that the Secret Keeper had been changed. Of course, you could always double-Fidelius, and have someone else keep a secret of who the Secret Keeper was...

But I suspect it was more a question of Sirius figuring that (a) it would take them a long time to settle on Peter and (b) if he got caught, he could find out who the "real mole" was and be done with it.
16 comments or Leave a comment