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These Are The Names, Chapter 24 - The Phantom Librarian — LiveJournal
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
These Are The Names, Chapter 24
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redrikki From: redrikki Date: July 21st, 2014 01:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Of course the train never arrives. You can't have people actually helping people. The Capitol can only function in a world where everyone is only looking out for themselves and, in that world, every act of kindness between people who they need to be at odds is a revolutionary act. Poor Effie believing she could make a difference and poor people of 12 who needed it. Also, I liked how it very briefly intersected on the grand romance of Katniss and Peeta, but only as the smallest of side note.

I noticed a couple of things which need correcting: she's been fond of Haymitch since he actually the force field in his Games This is missing a word or two.
maybe you should at the bakery Another missing word.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: July 21st, 2014 04:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yup. Though whether it's the Capitol stopping the train, or the people the Capitol will blame it on... hard to say in Panem.

I'll grab those. I was writing pretty fast yesterday, and they're probably not my only goofs! :D
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 21st, 2014 06:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Of all the classic-Snow moves, this one makes the least sense. Snow always talks about the tough-love for the Districts, and then forgets the "love" part. That train of grain would probably do more to tamp down rebellion than a couple platoons of Peacekeepers (and of there's little the Capitol could do to piss off D12 more than prevent promised relief supplies from coming). (Note: I'm not criticizing your writing. This is !totally! what Snow would do, because he's a moron sometimes)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: July 21st, 2014 07:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
It is... though I'm not sure this is really Snow's doing.
8 comments or Leave a comment