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The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
The Last Tribute: Chapter Two
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gabrielladusult From: gabrielladusult Date: August 9th, 2014 05:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ok, it was tricky on my phone, but here are some minor typos I think I found (at this point someone else has probably caught them):

"She shifts again, obviously waiting of cue..." Maybe "for a cue"?</p>

"...and the distant look in the gray eyes no seen at a huge magnification..." Maybe "now seen" (sticky keyboard syndrome, I'm sure you typed that w)

"...He looks at me with a miserable kind of hope in his yes..." I think "in his eyes"

"There are few more frightening temporary blanks..." I think "a few" would be better than just "few"

On to the good stuff. I really felt Haymitch's dilemma. How he immediately saw a victor in Katniss and then realizes he's torn between her and Danny's son. Watching him watch them through the games to the point where he realizes he can save them both us going to be amazing. Nice touch towards the end having him mentally call Peeta "Danny" and them correct himself. And the Mockingjay pin! Of course that would be the trigger that broke him. Looking forward to the next installment.

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: August 9th, 2014 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Got 'em, thanks.

I've had a few people ask what Haymitch felt when he saw the pin, and I've been thinking about it. Then I realized that we knew exactly what happened the first time Katniss was wearing it in his presence.

The conflict will be even worse when he realizes that he likes Peeta purely for himself, too.
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