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The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
The Last Tribute: Chapter Two
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: August 10th, 2014 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback/Catches Part 2

I loved the scene with Danny. You did a fabulous job of showing that, no matter what Haymitch drunkenly believes later, Danny's anger was more along the lines of: They took my kid while you did a pratfall; please get with the program! rather than: I hate you for getting me into this, and that if he's angry at anyone, it's himself. Also, Danny, you get serious points for coming out of your despair long enough to tell Haymitch the best way you knew how that no matter what you might say later, you understood if he couldn't bring Peeta home. I hadn't considered Haymitch's point about how a lot of the parents aren't actually wishing other kids dead, even as they wish for the return of their own. But, once he said it, it slotted perfectly into my understanding of the HG verse.

I hadn't seriously considered the two Haymitch suppositions you made in this chapter (the vomiting as reaction to the pin and the reason for the fall), but they slot so well into what we know of Haymitch, I think it'll be hard to find other interpretations of those incidents plausible.

I loved so many things you played with in this about perception. It really struck me how much Haymitch being drunk made him unaware of how badly he would come off to Kattniss for that display on the stage (seriously, if you didn't understand what your mentor was doing, that would be so weirdly/creepily off), and then his thoughts about how he was presented by the Capitol/Effie, right down to his fancy outfits, created artificial barriers between himself and Twelve; just a really spot-on insight. Also really loved why he, of all people, didn't salute Kattniss; what a plausible explanation!

The ways you're interweaving the relationship between tributes and their mentors in this are marvelous. From Haymitch flatly telling Danny that essentially, he had to back Peeta's play, to the sense of responsibility that was the impetus for Haymitch's stage display, it felt like things a victor would think/do, and a large part of that was how well you've laid the groundwork in the prior parts of this series. I also thought his thoughts about his own Games were used brilliantly. After all, he played the Games as hard as he could, but he also had people to help him when he faultered. And getting his mentions of that prior to his falling made his actions after he thought how hard she was playing the Game feel inevitable. And all the things you've done to strengthen their connection before they meet were wonderful. Seeing his friends and himself when he looks at her seems particularly apt.

In closing, loved the touches of Victor family, with mention of Finn bringing a seashell to show everyone what the ocean sounded like, because so few of them had actually been able to see it on their victory tour.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: August 10th, 2014 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback/Catches Part 2

That scene with Danny was really hard. Haymitch definitely interprets it as "I hate you." Of course, at that point, he probably interprets, "Nice to see you" as "I hate you."

Katniss in the book recognizes how "convenient" Haymitch's timing is with his drunken rant, so I think we were supposed to notice it, at least in retrospect. The pin thing just occurred to me as I was writing.

So much of HG is about perception. It's really a fascinating way of looking at the world.

I love the relationship between Katniss and Haymitch. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to catch, because I want to avoid a lot of rehashed material, but the way they grow to count on each other and trust each other, despite many clear reasons they shouldn't (the phrase "never trust a drunk" is a very familiar one to me)... it's really quite lovely.
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