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The Last Tribute: Chapter Twelve - The Phantom Librarian — LiveJournal
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
The Last Tribute: Chapter Twelve
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: September 17th, 2014 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)


Will be back as soon as I can with a proper comment; just wanted to point these out before you archived.

And for what it's worth, I'm sorry if some of the larger things were deliberate choices; just thought I'd point them out in case they weren't.:)

Finnick who's Just need a comma after Finnick.

it's love story Think you're missing an a before love.

of century Think you're missing an a before century.

and marriage contract Think you're missing an a before marriage.

She is fresh and Think maybe you're missing an as before fresh?

the edge his Missing an of before his.

wonder if helps Missing an it before helps.

errant while he's doing it Am a bit confused here; what's the it Brutus is referring too? I'm thinking maybe he's saying Cato isn't a hipocrit, threatening to kill Peeta and then playing knight errant, the way he thinks Peeta is for joining in with the Careers talk and then getting upset? Just wasn't sure if maybe there were some words missing here, or if it's just one of those things that gets explained by later context.:)

He stands up Since Brutus's chair rolled away, and he's up against the wall, wouldn't he already be standing here? If that's the case, could he maybe be smiling/glaring/some other expression to underscore just how inadviseable getting into the fight actually is, since I'm assuming that's what the standing was meant to show?

that she's so far Not sure if there's a missing word here?

letting her get dehydrated I don't quite see how Peeta would know she was dehydrated; I can definitely see how he'd know there wasn't a parachute, but there's nothing to suggest she hasn't found an alternative water source to the lake when he sees her. I can definitely see how the comment would, inadvertently, help explain things to Twelve. I just can't see how it could be a deliberate thing; or is this a deliberate case of Haymitch thinking Peeta understands more than he does?

Finnick grumbles beside Just not sure if Finn took advantage of all the shuffling with Beetee's addition to move he and Annie next to Twelve and it may've gotten accidentally deleted in editing, or if he was just passing by to get some dinner or something; just thought I'd mention in case it was the former.:)

Edited at 2014-09-17 05:10 am (UTC)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 17th, 2014 05:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Catches

Haymitch pushes Brutus in the chair into the wall, then Brutus gets up.

I think Haymitch is imputing things to Peeta, because he's feeling guilty and therefore assumes that everyone is holding him guilty and Peeta's trying to help him. Peeta knows he hasn't seen a parachute, and probably just says it to explain why nothing at all has been sent. Or maybe he's just saying it because it's an eyeroll at the idea that the mentors, who he knows are watching, will continue playing into this scenario.
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