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The Last Tribute: Chapter Thirteen - The Phantom Librarian — LiveJournal
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
The Last Tribute: Chapter Thirteen
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: September 21st, 2014 05:41 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback

I love your dream sequences! Although, there's something indescribably sad that even in his own subconscious, Haymitch's reached a point where he can't imagine another life for himself. So often, to achieve clarity for the reader with dreams, it feels as though the characters are retreading ground for the reader's sake, but this never did.

I loved your explanation for why Peeta made the suggestion he did to the Careers; oh, honey, you would've been in so much less pain come the next day if that had worked.

And oh, Marvel. There's something deeply sad at seeing him so repulsed by something he will later do; a really excellent foreshadowing example of how the arena breaks people.

There is something so viscerally satisfying about seeing Haymitch start to consider relying on a larger network again. He was just starting to in HT, and then his tour/first year happened, and everything went to hell; there's something almost giddy about knowing how spectacularly it's going to succeed this time, and this is one of the places where all the prequel bits are paying off beautifully!

One of the greatest lines from the last chapter was Haymitch's thought that he was the most sadistic bastard of them all, and it became even more fabulous in retrospect with what you did here. You've always had a wonderfully sharp divide between "You think like a Gamemaker" and "You are like a Gamemaker." even if Haymitch hasn't always seen the divide as clearly as the readers. But it was in especially sharp relief here, with his caveat of if he's willing when he's thinking about Finn. No one who was like a Gamemaker would think that.

Mm, now that you pointed it out, I'm now very interested to see what the hell Plutarch was playing at. And I'm beginning to wonder if he thought, with all the Gamemakers and Snow gunning for her, she really didn't have a chance. I mean, sure, let the pin in the arena, but don't go out on any limbs; just...let the Games play out, and if she wins, then that early gamble with the pin will pay off, and if she doesn't, oh well, no harm, no foul.

I loved the moment where Kattniss thanked Haymitch; it was a wonderful moment in the books, and the pov switch made it so much more so. Though, again, there is something so wrong with the fact that no Tributes, barring Elmer in the 51st, have ever said thank you. (I'm guessing Haymitch didn't think of that one because it was so brief; it was thank you, but it didn't carry the feeling Kattniss's did?)

And I like the cast you're assembling behind the scenes! I'm especially giddy over Cecilia, Aquila, Finn, Caesar, and Seeder!:d Especially because two of them really deserve moments to shine, considering what Snow does the next year.:(

There were so many lines I loved, but I especially loved Haymitch's: bizarre playtime, and the way you described the Careers "trampling down" the woods. Just really well-done, morbidly funny turns of phrase.

And lest I forget: Maysilee's "You don't tie your shoes together with packing string anymore, Haymitch. You're not sixteen, you're not poor, and you're not powerless." I've been wanting to saythat since somewhere around the middle/end of EOTW, and hearing someone finally do it in the text was glorious; clapping ensued!

And speaking of great lines, I never got a chance to comment on Finn's great rejoinder to Brutus about going to see a therapist for his death wish, but that was brilliant. I love how you're developing this snark of Finn's; it's not as obvious as Haymitch's, but it's quietly devastating in its own way when he decides to turn it on someone.

Also, what a fantastic way to have the comentators pair Kattniss and Rue after the fire (fantastic in conception, not outcome) I love how they're trying to defang her in anticipation of her death; at least, I'm assuming that's what Snow and the higher level Gamemakers are planning: Make her sacrifice have no power and then kill her in the most brutal way possible with the showdown with Cato? No more Haymitch's, under any circumstances. Which now makes me want a short fic about how they were spinning Haymitch in his Games, from the pov of someone in the viewing center/what the behind the scenes macinations were regarding what the hell to do about him.

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