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The Last Tribute: Chapter Seventeen - The Phantom Librarian — LiveJournal
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
The Last Tribute: Chapter Seventeen
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: October 16th, 2014 05:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback/some Catches part 2

Haymitch's insights about the Capitol wanting to be clean and wanting normal families are so spot-on. Seeing him use them to give the Capitol hope is so refreshing after all the back-story, and especially after TANT, where we got such a close look at them.

One of your strengths as a writer, imho, is the very distinct character voices you create. For Haymitch's, I love the moments of slightly off-beat grammar/syntax that identify a piece as quintessentially Haymitch. For this chapter in particular, I'm thinking, rather oddly, of "averted everyone's attention" I'm fairly well-read, but I don't think I've seen averted used in place of diverted quite like that before; this could just be because of the things I'm reading, but I enjoyed the uniqueness of the phrase anyway. And your vocabulary overall is glorious; atavistic horror is still sticking with me as the perfect way to sum up that fire.

Much as I loved the political maneuvering (and I did love it; you write some of the most complicated/layered politics I've ever seen. I just go roll around in your Fiona trial scene from Stray sometimes when I'm looking for good political drama), the interpersonal dynamics were the show stealers for me this chapter. Especially the chats between Haymitch and Chaff and Haymitch/Finn. Your Chaff is fantastic, and I very much wanted Chaff survives AU after reading this chapter, because damn, I want them snarcing/defeating Coin together. He has so many hidden depths, and I love when he shows them. He reminded me of veterans of slave insurrections I've read about, who's seen the same things play out so many times and knows how they always end and how much innocent blood will be spilled in the process. I especially loved his comment about them knowing the peacekeepers can shoot and practically daring them. That's so much of the district-specific rebellions' problem right there. And I couldn't help sorta agreeing with him about why in the hell one of the bigger girls throwing rocks didn't step forward and volunteer. But yeah, had Chaff adoration in spades this chapter.:d And Seeder; seeing her reaction made Rue's death so much worse; I keep trying to think of more to say about her, but all I'm coming up with are how sick the Games are. Though I did love that it was she that initiated the bread gift; I wonder, did the parents ask her to do that, or did she subtly make the suggestion?

Loved Plutarch being frustrated with not knowing the plan; but then, watching all Haymitch's friends and liking them so much, I'm not too happy with him at the moment for being so hell-bent on waiting for the quell, so it was especially nice to be satisfied at his frustration.

Also loved Haymitch coming up with the majority of the Cato/Clove story and Seneca's sheepish admission that he wanted to see Twelve's storyline play out. If you weren't a Gamemaker, Seneca, I would think your romanticism endearing; now I still do, a bit, but primarily, I'm disturbed he's putting it to use making a show. Any particular reason, do you think, that he didn't bring in Eno; just because Brutus is the ostensible leader of the Career alliance?
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 16th, 2014 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback/some Catches part 2

Willow at work says: *goes to find Fiona's trial scene to roll around too*
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 16th, 2014 05:35 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback/some Catches part 2

I do like Haymitch's voice (via the talented Mr. Harrelson, honestly -- he looks nothing whatsoever like book Haymitch, but I will never be able to hear anyone else's voice in the part). That mild twist in syntax, the rhythm of the words -- that just seems like the way Haymitch is.

Ah, political maneuvering... yes, things I get from going to undergraduate school among the political wonks and history buffs. I always felt a step behind most of my friends, who could rattle off historical political maneuvers without blinking, but I guess some rubbed off. I tend to watch real-world politics with an eye for who's playing what storylines, and why.

But ultimately, I'm a character writer, so I'm glad that it's the interpersonal stuff that sticks out. I also wish Chaff had lived! I wished it in the book after his build-up, too.

Ugh, I forgot Eno. Brutus is the lead for D2; she's, um... watching the table and working the phones. Because their escort isn't as good as Effie.
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