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The Last Tribute: Chapter Twenty-One - The Phantom Librarian — LiveJournal
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
The Last Tribute: Chapter Twenty-One
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: November 6th, 2014 05:19 am (UTC) (Link)

Feedback/Some Catches

Sorry to be a bit late with the catches; am too much of a political junkie to have concentrated last night!

during four hours we Think you're missing a the before four.

sell it a bargain Think you're missing an at before a?

head in in my hand Just an extra in, and should hand be hands?

when didn't send Think you're missing an I before didn't.

can her me Think her should be hear.

a minute then looks Seems like you may either be missing a word or a comma here?

Not so much a catch as a personal confusion, mostly because weapons aren't my forte.:) How in the world did a spear send the armor into the current? Did Cato manage to reach out with it and wrap the strap around the point, or did Thresh duck a spear and drop it?

I loved so many moments in this. Haymitch telling stories was brilliant, as it always is. And just for a second, he actually admitted he was enjoying himself! We've very rarely seen him do that in these backstories, so it was a nice change. And perhaps a way to point to how much he's beginning to change? I'm imagining he was telling more stories in the Jack cycle of fairytales; some of the ones that're lesser known than the beanstalk one?

And his observations about how well Peeta and Kattniss work together as a team, especially the bit about how she knows when he needs her to do something but Peeta makes it shine pretty much epitomize why I think those two make such a fabulous couple and compliment one another so well. I find it morbidly ironic how much he can see about Kattniss, especially how she's falling in love with Peeta, but can't see so much about himself. Very true to life; just ironic all the same.

Loved your guess about what The Valley Song actually is, along with Haymitch's decision not to use his accent as part of the show because of what Twelve did for he and Kattniss; you bring the District vibrantly to life with details like that.

What a hellish situation to be in with Finch; admiring her, and knowing there's not a damn thing you can do about it, because you'll lose your kids. With choices like that, no wonder Haymitch wanted to put Snow in that situation, with the K/P narrative.

And the Haymitch/Finn conversation; I loved that Finn managed to find a way to get some of the points we were talking about last chapter across, as much as he could, at any rate, without slamming up against Haymitch's walls. It makes it even more awesome that Peeta relays Haymitch's comment about Finn being "one of his kids" in GM; wish Haymitch could have said it to Finn, but at least he knows the message here was received and reciprocated. And Haymitch's comment about once he saw them through wanting to get Finn out; I'm assuming that was in reference to the whole situation, rather than getting Finn out for a walk, etc. etc.? Not sure if there was actually anything he could have done if there'd been no victor quell/escape from the arena, but the sentiment was fabulous all the same.

Also really liked the little nod to how much he still understands the Gamemakers with his comment to Chaff about thresh; what a hellish thing to do to a Tribute.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: November 6th, 2014 05:37 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Feedback/Some Catches

Sorry to be a bit late with the catches; am too much of a political junkie to have concentrated last night!
Me, too -- I probably wouldn't have made the fixes right away! I had two college friends tied up in races in different states, so I had windows open and refreshing for hours. Now, the pleasure of analyzing it to death, comparing notes with other wonkish friends... ah. I suppose I should concern myself with issues, but I have a Plutarch-ian love of the sheer politics of the game right after elections.

You know, I'm not sure how he gets the armor, either. I may have to just re-think the action.

I think Haymitch might have done better personally if he'd been able to admit to himself (and the people he cared about) that there were things he enjoyed. It is the "Jack" cycle of stories, which apparently got told quite a bit up in the mountains in Appalachia, with their own spins on them.

For me, the worst of the psychological things that the Games do is what decisions they force fundamentally decent people to make. If you want your child to live, it means wishing twenty-three others dead. And even in a year where Haymitch has fought for both of his tributes to make it out, that still means he has to hope for 22 deaths.

I have no idea what Haymitch thinks he's going to do about Finnick -- other than win the larger war -- and I doubt he has any idea, either, but he's totally sincere in his intent.
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