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The Last Tribute: Chapter Twenty-Six - The Phantom Librarian — LiveJournal
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
The Last Tribute: Chapter Twenty-Six
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: December 2nd, 2014 05:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Feedback to come as soon as I can; but I wanted to get these to you before you archived. Sorry if I missed some things; even on reread, this chapter just made me totally giddy.

fighting with the cane Think maybe you're either missing a comma or a word or both, here.

while since a shower Not sure if you're missing a you had before a shower, or if that's just Effie talking faster and faster until her brain's ahead of her mouth.

cameras call "cut," Did you maybe mean cameramen here, or is this just a production term I don't know about?

staring at the window and causing riots Should window be windows, since there are more than one recovery room?
Although, now that I think of it; I don't know that you can have them move the hospital; last chapter, Haymitch explicitly said Kat was in Finn's old room, and Peeta was in his.

idea and I'm Think maybe you need a comma after idea?

he had along and Just need a space between the a and long.

pace, his can Just need to make can cane.:)

want you go out there Think you're missing a to before go.

examine the tray Just need a period.

the also get Think the the should be they.

catch it with Otho Did you maybe mean catch one with Otho there; the itt seems a bit off there?

ETA: The document I was typing in did something odd; sorry these aren't anywhere near in chronological order!

Edited at 2014-12-02 05:41 am (UTC)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 2nd, 2014 05:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm just going to take out the bit about moving the hospital, and pretend that I didn't notice Katniss saying it was in the sub-basement. ;p

Thanks!
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