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The HG trilogy, if Percy Jackson named the chapters - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
The HG trilogy, if Percy Jackson named the chapters
So, I was looking at Magnus Chase reviews, and I was struck by one reader-review: "CHAPTER TITLES ARE BACK!"

For those who don't read Percy Jackson, the first series featured absolutely absurd, often funny, always sarcastic chapter titles, while the second series just titled each chapter by the name of the POV character. The new books have gone back to the original idea.

Anyway, I love the chapter titles, but I haven't tried it before. I don't plan on going into PJO fanfic (I have done enough fandoms, I think), but I thought it would be fun to try my hand at the chapter titles, by titling the series LEAST in tone like PJO. So, here are titles for the chapters of the Hunger Games books, Percy Jackson-style. Just because I felt like it.

The Hunger Games
Chapter 1: My Sister Wins A Fabulous Death
Chapter 2: Haymitch Abernathy Takes A Dive
Chapter 3: I Wreck An Expensive Tablecloth
Chapter 4: I Acquaint Myself With Dandelions
Chapter 5: My Stylist Burns Me Alive
Chapter 6: My Servant (Probably) Wants Me Dead
Chapter 7: Peeta and I Win Friends and Alienate People
Chapter 8: Effie Almost Takes A Stand
Chapter 9: Peeta Drops a Bomb
Chapter 10: A Bird Accompanies Me To Certain Death
Chapter 11: I Run For It
Chapter 12: I Am the Proud Discoverer of Mud
Chapter 13: I Make Contact With a Large Possum
Chapter 14: I Unleash the Golden Bees of Death
Chapter 15: My New Ally Spits On Me
Chapter 16: I Play William Tell With Landmines
Chapter 17: Cato Throws A Tantrum
Chapter 18: I Plant Some Very Dangerous Flowers
Chapter 19: Peeta Takes A Really Long Bath
Chapter 20: I Poison My One True Love
Chapter 21: Luckily, Clove Talks Too Much
Chapter 22: Peeta Is Afraid Of Grass
Chapter 23: We Annoy Our Escort. And Our Mentor. And Each Other.
Chapter 24: I Sing To Birds
Chapter 25: We Play Chicken With The Gods
Chapter 26: Haymitch Is As Cheerful As Ever
Chapter 27: Peeta and I Have a Movie Date with the Whole Country

Catching Fire
Chapter 1: Haymitch and I Try To Kill Each Other
Chapter 2: President Snow Catches Up On My Love Life
Chapter 3: I Am Stunned At My Own Talent
Chapter 4: Peeta Flubs His Lines
Chapter 5: We Scandalize Effie Trinket
Chapter 6: The Head Gamemaker Flips Me The Bird
Chapter 7: Gale Loses A Pair of Gloves
Chapter 8: Madge Pays Us Back for Strawberries
Chapter 9: Everyone Else Plans My Wedding
Chapter 10: I Have Tea With Runaway Peacekeepers
Chapter 11: Prim's Goat Saves The Day
Chapter 12: I Watch My Future On Television
Chapter 13: Haymitch Gives Me A Drink
Chapter 14: We Eavesdrop On Our Mentor
Chapter 15: Naked Victors Invade My Personal Space
Chapter 16: I Decide To Hang A Gamemaker
Chapter 17: My Wedding Dress Goes Up In Smoke
Chapter 18: I Find Out That I'm Married and Pregnant
Chapter 19: Haymitch Gives Away His Jewelry
Chapter 20: Finnick Kisses My Fake Husband
Chapter 21: The Gamemakers REALLY Want us Dead
Chapter 22: Wiress Keeps Track of Time
Chapter 23: We Go For A Spin
Chapter 24: I Get Peeta To Stop Talking
Chapter 25: No One Understands Beetee's Plan
Chapter 26: We Run Out Of Time
Chapter 27: Haymitch and I Try To Kill Each Other (Again)

Chapter 1: Buttercup Welcomes Me To District Twelve
Chapter 2: Peeta Builds A House of Cards
Chapter 3: I Blackmail The President
Chapter 4: Gale Has Something Against Beauticians
Chapter 5: I Discover That I Can't Act
Chapter 6: Finnick Forgets That He's Not Wearing Pants
Chapter 7: I Get Haymitch Out of My Ear
Chapter 8: I Become A National Craze
Chapter 9: I Teach Birds To Sing
Chapter 10: Primrose Thinks Big
Chapter 11: Finnick and I Tie the Knot
Chapter 12: Peeta Greets Me With Great Enthusiasm
Chapter 13: Delly Cartwright Is Our Secret Weapon
Chapter 14: Gale Goes Hunting
Chapter 15: I'm Pretty Sure I Die Here
Chapter 16: Peeta Bakes A Cake
Chapter 17: I Get A Roommate, And She Mostly Stays Dressed
Chapter 18: I Shoot At Empty Buildings
Chapter 19: Peeta Plays A New Game
Chapter 20: We're Chased By A Giant Tar Monster
Chapter 21: Pollux Becomes Our MVP
Chapter 22: Have I Mentioned How Much I Hate Roses?
Chapter 23: We Get Furry Underwear From A Cat Lady
Chapter 24: The Capitol Blows Up
Chapter 25: I Stumble Onto The Truth
Chapter 26: I Flip A Coin
Chapter 27: I Really Let Myself Go
Epilogue: My Children Get A Happy Ending
14 comments or Leave a comment
beceh From: beceh Date: October 27th, 2015 08:58 am (UTC) (Link)
Hahaha. Love it!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 29th, 2015 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I love Riordan's flippant attitude... and how it doesn't actually interfere with telling an epic story.
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 27th, 2015 11:54 am (UTC) (Link)


Now on that note id love to see you have a go at writing actual genuine HG canon book chapter titles rather than Collins 1,2,3etc

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 28th, 2015 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Hilarious

I think the number chapter titles suit Collins's style nicely -- it's very minimal.
hamsterwoman From: hamsterwoman Date: October 27th, 2015 05:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is great! :D
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 29th, 2015 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
redrikki From: redrikki Date: October 28th, 2015 07:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Laughing and cringing at the same time.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 29th, 2015 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I tried to write a bit of the first chapter in a PJO voice. I was also both laughing and cringing.

Tone makes such a difference!
nevrafire From: nevrafire Date: November 2nd, 2015 12:58 am (UTC) (Link)
well I'm glad that you wrote that PJO/HP crossover one at least.

nevrafire From: nevrafire Date: November 2nd, 2015 12:59 am (UTC) (Link)
also all these are brilliant

and i'm very impressed you managed to make them neutral/happy-ish.
nocoward_soul From: nocoward_soul Date: November 7th, 2015 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Brilliant. I particularly like I Get A Roommate, And She Mostly Stays Dressed and I Flip A Coin.
flo_nelja From: flo_nelja Date: November 7th, 2015 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love these!
zahrawithaz From: zahrawithaz Date: November 9th, 2015 09:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Here on selenak's rec. This is great!
tec4 From: tec4 Date: November 21st, 2015 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

I really like ..

... Peeta and I have a movie date with the entire country ...

Because PJO style or not, I can just hear Katniss saying this (along with most of the rest of them).
14 comments or Leave a comment