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The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
fernwithy
fernwithy
The Road Home (Coco): Chapter Twenty-Three
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From: queen_bellatrix Date: September 15th, 2018 05:56 am (UTC) (Link)

Catches/squee

never every should Just need the every to be ever.

and great-children Just need a grand in there.

The belong to the people Just need a they instead of the.

few weeks now? Just need a from before now.

that as the opposite The as just needs to be was.

been working Rosa's Think you just need a with before Rosa's.

lump in hs throat Just need the hs to be a his.

Fern God everything you've been leading up to slots so well in here, and it's all such profoundly powerful themes. Not only rectifying the mistakes of the past, but improving on flaws past folks may've had. To revere them, but not see them as saints on pedestals.

And you laid the groundwork so well, with that conversation between Miguel and Carlos about respecting fans so long ago. God there're just so many gorgeous insights about being a musician, and I loved Miguel talking about what Ernesto got wrong, the arrogance of it. And glorying in the fact that unburdened by that arrogance, there were so many possibilities open to him. I also really loved your revisions to the first song, the way it went from such a self-absorbed thing to something so warm and communal.

I'll be really interested to see if you do some short connected pieces with Miguel and Bridget. I completely understand why she needed to take a back-seat for pov reasons, but that whole relationship fascinates me. The ways especially that they can give one another such perspective on tragedy and moving past it.

And the Miguel and Enrique bonding; the way that went from wonderfully solid to utterly rooted and rich throughout the story has been a delight to watch. I'm absolutely rooting for a motorcycle trip. :)

And in the banter category, the grandmother super-suits with shoes is marvelous and I was very glad I wasn't drinking anything; I was in fits of laughter.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: September 16th, 2018 08:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Catches/squee

Thanks. The/They will be the death of me yet. :D

I think I am going to write the Bridget story. Not a long thing, but I know what it's about.

The motorcycle trip would be an awesome bonding experience. :D

Iron Man and Coco are both Disney properties. There could totally be a crossover!
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