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The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 7: The Whole Story, pt. 3
knackard has done a very freaked out Remus, with Greyback in the background and a dead forest ranger, in Chapter 12 of Shades.

Feeling a little bit old after learning more about Remus's year with Greyback and contemplating the notion that, without that, his parents might have married a year earlier and he might have a sibling, Teddy decides that it's time for him to lighten the heck up, and go out for a little Marauding with his Map-borne friends. When he gets down to the Common Room, he finds Victoire, whose roommates have hexed her nightgown to light up like a Christmas tree. She sees that he has the Map, and he offers to show her how to use it and get around. She's so happy that she's out the door and halfway down the corridor before he even gets out.

Table of Contents and Summary So Far

Teddy coughed as the portrait hole closed, and gestured for Victoire to stop. She did, shifting from foot to foot. Teddy winked up at the Fat Lady, who conspicuously looked away, then went to join Victoire.

"Here." He pointed his wand at her nightgown. "Finite incantatem." The flashing lights disappeared.


"What did you do to end up glittering?"

"Nothing!" she said, drawing her eyebrows together. "I didn't do anything. I cleaned up, and I even made us a system to keep the whole dormitory neat, and give all of us the same amount of space."

"Oh," Teddy said.

She gave him a bruised sort of look. "You think I was wrong."

Teddy squirmed. "I think perhaps... well, you're not the eldest sister, they might..." He shrugged. "Well, maybe they were just trying to get you to lighten up. You ought to make their shoes sing Christmas carols or something in the morning."

"I don't have anything that does that."

"I think there's a Charm in the book Ron and Hermione gave me for Christmas. We'll try it before we go back."

"You don't think that would make them madder?"

"If it does, then they're not worth worrying about." He opened the Map. "Do you want to use your wand, or Dad's wand? Dad's makes it do a few different things."

"I'll use mine," Victoire said. "I think that only the person who's Map-master should use the maker's wand."

This struck Teddy as a nearly perfect rule, and he decided that, as soon as he figured out a good spell, he'd work it into the Keys to the Castle, which controlled the Map. Perhaps he'd even start his own list of spells, though he supposed he'd need a nickname if he was to be a proper Marauder. He imagined passing the Map on to James after school, and James adding his own spells, then the Map-master after James--maybe little Fred Weasley--adding more, and he thought the Marauders would like that. He grinned. "All right, then," he said. He handed her the Map. Dad's wand was magically tethered, but when it flew in her direction, she just tucked it into the pocket of her dressing gown. He indicated to open it, and waited until she'd raised her wand. "The incantation is, 'I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good.'"

She straightened her shoulders, tapped the Map with her wand, and said it. The spidery lines of writing appeared, the formal greeting to other magical mischief-makers. She smiled widely lit her wand. "Does anyone else know about this?"

Teddy nodded. "Frankie. And I told Ruthless last year. But you're the only one who knows about the Keys to the Castle."

The castle began to appear, then the little moving dots that represented all the people in it. Victoire had seen this before, but she still looked delightedly surprised. "We're right here, Teddy!" she said, pointing to the two dots labeled "Ted Lupin" and "Victoire Weasley." she ran her finger back into Gryffindor Tower. "And there are all of my dormitory mates. Oh, Mabel's out of bed, by my bed--I'll have to check and make sure she hasn't hexed anything... And there's Ruthless, pacing around..."

"She does that a lot," Teddy said, and, unbidden, he imagined Ruthless in a short nightdress, wandlight playing over her face, pacing back and forth among her sleeping roommates.

Victoire bit her lip, started to say something, then shook her head. "Oh, look, Vivian is visiting Neville."

"Professor Longbottom," Teddy reminded her. "It's hard to remember if you don't do it all the time."

"Professor Longbottom," Victoire corrected herself. "So, what shall we do?"

"What do you have in your bag?"

She pulled her bag around in front of her and opened it, rooting around inside with a look of concentration. "Three or four dungbombs, a box of Canary Cremes..." She fished under her wallet and a string of pictures of her sisters and brother came out, draping itself over the zipper. Aimee and Marie Weasley waved frantically at Teddy and Artie walked on his hands across the bottom of his. "...a bottle of U-No-Poo, I think I've got a Portable Salt-Marsh in here..."

Teddy shook his head in admiration. "Did George give you any Portable Daydreams? They're small enough that we could hide them in things."

She nodded enthusiastically. "He's made them into sprinkles, so you can have them with breakfast. I've been putting them on my porridge before History of Magic."

"I wonder if we could get them into the teachers' food..."

Victoire wrinkled her nose. "I like to have them for myself, thanks."

"Oh. Right." He shrugged. "Maybe something will come to mind. Let's have a look around."

"Oh, yes! Let's go see Nev--Professor Longbottom and Vivian. I think they like each other."

"Er... I don't know..." Teddy contemplated this odd notion, then gratefully latched on to the obvious problem. "Vivian can see through walls. We oughtn't go there."

"Oh. Where shall we go?"

"Have you ever been in the Great Hall when it's empty?"

She shook her head. "Is it empty now?" She flipped the Map up with great aplomb. "Nearly Headless Nick is in the entrance hall..."

"Nick never says anything."

"Madam Rosmerta's... in the kitchens, right, near Hufflepuff?"

Teddy came around behind her to look at the Map right side up. "Looks clear, other than Nick. Let's go." He waited for her to fold the Map, then, keeping to the shadows, led her downstairs.

Nearly Headless Nick saw them when they got to the entrance hall. "Ah," he said, "a bit of late night mischief?"

Teddy nodded. "Want to come along?"

"Alas, other business occupies me this evening. I am composing a petition to the Society For Redress of Ghostly Grievance, on behalf of the fair Madam Rosmerta, who feels she ought to have leave to haunt her own place of business. The dear lady has not been one of us long enough to know the twisting paths of Post-Mortal Justice."

"Why can't she haunt her pub?" Victoire asked.

"Her faithless son, to whom she left it, found it tiresome to be informed of his mistakes in operating it. She was therefore restricted to Hogwarts, where she crossed over, or merely High Street, in Hogsmeade."

"You seem fond of her," Victoire said eagerly. "Can ghosts get married? Perhaps the Fat Friar could help."

"There would be little point," Nick said delicately, and floated off, nose in the air.

Victoire deflated. "Oh, I think I've hurt his feelings."

"You'll get used to the ghosts," Teddy said, and shrugged. "They can be a little touchy. Have you met Myrtle yet?"


Teddy opened the door to the Great Hall, and led her inside. The candles were dark, but moonlight streamed through the windows and the enchanted ceiling showered everything in silver. "Come on," he said. "Let's go to the high table."

She giggled and followed him up to the table at the front of the room.

"Madam Headmistress?" Teddy said, and pulled out Sprout's chair.

"Oh, thank you, dear boy."

Teddy settled himself in the padded chair that Slughorn used. "Really, madam, I was just speaking to Ginny Potter, of the Holyhead Harpies, and she was telling me that Kirly Duke--you'd know him from the Weird Sisters--was meeting with Fifi LaFolle, who let me read the first copy of her new book..."

She laughed and spread the Map out on the table. "Let's see, who else is up... Madam Pince is in the library..."

"She's always there one night a week. I think that's when she Hexes up the new books."

"Mm. Oh, there's Hagrid coming out of his cabin. Why can't we see inside Hagrid's cabin?"

Teddy shrugged. "They liked him. I reckon they decided he ought to have some privacy."

"Oh, all right." She scanned further. "Oh, they're having a game or something in Hufflepuff. There's Frankie and Tinny and Roger and Bernice and Zachary, all down in their Common Room. They must play without us sometimes."

"It's a different thing," Teddy said. "Frankie says they never play Muggles and Minions without inviting everyone."

"Oh, then what are they doing?"

"I don't know. Hufflepuffs can be really secretive when they want to be. Maybe they're inventing a way to make ships fly off on cyclones."


"Never mind."

"Oh, look! It's Donzo! Who's that he's with?"

Teddy looked up at the corner of the Map that showed Ravenclaw Tower. Donzo was headed down the stairs with a dot labeled "Melania Khetran," who Teddy thought was one of the second years who'd congregated in Ravenclaw the way his own year had tended to congregate in Hufflepuff. "They must be friends," he said. "Looks like they're headed down here. Come on, let's meet them."

Victoire got up and folded the Map--Teddy checked one last time to make sure no one else was headed down to the entrance hall--and they went between the long tables, their feet making soft slapping sounds on the stones. They reached the doors, and Teddy put his finger to his mouth; Donzo would probably be down by now, and not expecting anyone to be here.

He pushed the door open and let Victoire out, then looked up the stairs where he saw something that distracted him entirely from Marauding, from Victoire, even from the notion that Fenrir Greyback was out there somewhere and coming after him.

Halfway up, Donzo--his friend, from his year--was holding hands with a pretty, dark-haired girl. He was taller than she was, but when he took a step down, he looked back at her, and she kissed him.

Suddenly, the girl jumped, her hand to her heart. "Donnie, there's someone downstairs!"
51 comments or Leave a comment
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alphabet26 From: alphabet26 Date: October 18th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC) (Link)
GASP! One of his friends likes a girl enough to kiss her????

Another great section. I love that they're just wandering around after hours. Nothing in particular to see or do, just to be mischievous. And I love the Map-master idea. Clever way to get Teddy's nickname worked in again.
anj1290 From: anj1290 Date: October 18th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)
*is curious* Has Teddy's nickname been mentioned before?

Wonderful section, Fern. I really enjoy the Teddy/Victoire dynamic...the "Madam Headmistress" bit was particularly sweet. And Victoire...she's quite the little matchmaker, isn't she? :-)
marikenobi From: marikenobi Date: October 18th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Puberty is fun!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 05:44 am (UTC) (Link)
In a deeply masochistic way...
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 18th, 2007 05:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, yes, the horrible, gross, incomprehensible evils a boy can come across wandering in Hogwarts at night.

And, let me guess, Teddy will in no way be able to connect this with the ideas he was having about Ruthless just a little while before, will he?

Thirteen. It's like being in a boat and having no idea that the ocean might change into something else till the boat comes to a dead halt and your own momentum carries you face first into the sand.

Even then, you might roll over and look at the person giving a belated "Land, ho!" and say, "Land? What are you talking about? We just misplaced the water, but it's got to be around here someplace."

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 05:44 am (UTC) (Link)
BWAH! Yes, that's exactly it.
willowbough From: willowbough Date: October 18th, 2007 05:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, Victoire . . . oh, dear. And Teddy trying to find a tactful way to tell her that her managerial tendencies might not endear her to her dormmates. In this case, pranking them back might be the best way to break the ice.

I liked the contents of Victoire's purse--like a Girl Scout, she seems prepared for practically anything. What will they actually get up to, now that she's officially being allowed to Maraud with him?

Donzo's got a girlfriend! Hope she likes him for himself and not his celebrity roots.

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 05:57 am (UTC) (Link)
What will they actually get up to, now that she's officially being allowed to Maraud with him?

I don't know. I was never much of a prankster, so thinking of Marauder pranks is always a challenge. Between Teddy's skill at Charms and her bag of tricks, they should be able to think of something, but neither of them has a really mean edge.
(Deleted comment)
purebristles From: purebristles Date: October 18th, 2007 05:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Poor Victoire... I suppose she really needs to be taken down a peg or two. I'd probably be one of those girls who hexed her nightgown.

Please tell me that Neville and Vivian are merely having late night discussions and nothing more... I think I need more time to get used to this idea of Sweet and Neville...

And - Donnie?!? He must REALLY like her.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 05:59 am (UTC) (Link)
I think Neville and Vivian are probably sitting around having a couple of glasses of wine and dishing dirt on the students and other staff members.
purebristles From: purebristles Date: October 18th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, and doesn't Teddy refer to Ron and Hermione as "Uncle" and "Aunt"? You've been a little inconsistent with this.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Oo... if I've had him call them "Aunt" and "Uncle," that's the mistake--I've caught myself doing it a couple of times and erased it, but if you spot one, let me know. Teddy only calls Harry and Ginny by titles, out of respect to Harry's godfatherhood.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: October 18th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
It's 2 AM and I should shut down the stupid computer and go to bed, but I'm thinking, I want to read something! Somebody write some fanfic!

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad to be of service! :)
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 18th, 2007 06:40 am (UTC) (Link)
oh i feel so sorry for Victoire. She deserves some friends!!!!
But i love teddy's staying close with her.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
She does have friends... it's just that they're all Teddy's friends. And boys. :)
got_it_bub From: got_it_bub Date: October 18th, 2007 06:42 am (UTC) (Link)
wait, that anon was me
cambryn From: cambryn Date: October 18th, 2007 07:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Teddy and Victoire were quite adorable in this. I love how they were playing about in the great hall. I'm surprised we don't see more of people sneaking there, as it's such a beautiful spot, really-must be quite cathedral like when empty.

Oh Teddy! You are so grownup in some ways, and innocent in others. 'Friends' in the dreaded astronomy tower? He's so cute.

I also enjoy how he is able to smoothly deal with others (for the most part) - Can't wait to read more! :D
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm surprised we don't see more of people sneaking there, as it's such a beautiful spot, really-must be quite cathedral like when empty.

That's true. Maybe everyone thinks that everyone else is in there, and so doesn't bother...
jedi_chick From: jedi_chick Date: October 18th, 2007 07:42 am (UTC) (Link)
I love the easy rapport that Teddy and Victoire have. You can really see how well they complement each other in this part--Teddy suggesting a better way to deal with her roommates, Victoire coming up with the idea about the Map-master getting to use Remus's wand. I'm glad they're getting to have some genuine fun time, even if it's as simple as sitting at the high table and spying on everyone else via the Map. ;~)

I liked both the Fat Lady and Nick's attitude towards Teddy and Victoire's sneaking around...makes you wonder how many other trouble makers they've witnessed over the years.

to make ships fly on of cyclones. I think there might be one too many words!

Looking forward to Donzo's reaction...
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think there might be one too many words!

Either that, or a really weird backwards use of words plus a typo--I think I meant to say "off on."

Fun is fun. I like writing them just goofing off.
thornyrose42 From: thornyrose42 Date: October 18th, 2007 09:46 am (UTC) (Link)

I think that once Teddy gets over the shock of there being someone in his year with a girlfriend there will be endless oppertunities for teasing poor Donzo with that name. Almost as bad as Won-Won. Maybe he'll get a nice gold necklace as well!

I also liked the little mention of the fact that the second and third years arn't exclusivly tied to their own common rooms the way the Harry's generation were. I suppose it makes sense being stuck with the same two people all the time would be pretty wearing.

Uh little typo here "a way to make ships fly on of cyclones." maybe you don't need the of.

I do like the conversation between Teddy and Victoire, you can really tell that they've grown up together, the bit where they took the piss out of the teachers was especially fun. I reckon that by now Teddy has Slughorn down pat, what with all the SLug clubs he has attended. Victoire is going to get an invite as well isn't she? What with a curesbreaker for a dad and her Veela ancestery.

I do wonder what the Puffs are doing though. Reminds me of a fic I read once where the Puffs were this secret army the was plotting to take over the world!

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that once Teddy gets over the shock of there being someone in his year with a girlfriend there will be endless oppertunities for teasing poor Donzo with that name.

Snerk... well, I guess that's a reason that he might not have been entirely up front with his friends!

Oh, I'm sure the entire extended family will have a standing invitation to the Slug Club. Wouldn't want to miss out on that level of influence!
(Deleted comment)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, poor Teddy

I know, it's horrible! ;p
redlily From: redlily Date: October 18th, 2007 10:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad to see Teddy and Victoire having some fun!

Man, those Hufflepuffs, always with the secret machinations. Am I right in believing that in all of canon, that's the only Common Room we never saw? Very secretive.

What sort of last name is "Khetran"? I've never heard it.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Am I right in believing that in all of canon, that's the only Common Room we never saw?
Yup, but JKR described it in her chat when someone asked for all the 'Puff fans out there.

I found "Khetran" on a list of Pakistani surnames.
(Deleted comment)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: October 18th, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. I like the 'Puffs. Human hobbits!
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