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Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 25: Confession, pt. 1 - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
Teddy Lupin and the Hunter's Moon, Chapter 25: Confession, pt. 1
Teddy killed Greyback and the Shrieking Shack, but Harry got him out in time, so he was unhurt (except for a sprung knee from Greyback hitting him).

Given that I almost forgot to put a chapter title on, suffice it to say that this one's not set in stone, and may not have much to do with it.

Table of Contents and Summary So Far

After a long time, Uncle Harry stood up. The wind, even warmed by the fire, seemed cold against Teddy's neck.

"I think it's safe to move now," Uncle Harry said.

Teddy nodded, but didn't move. He felt like he'd grown long, thin roots, and they were tangled in with the grass and flowers.

Uncle Harry turned to him and held out a hand. "Teddy, we should go."

Teddy tried to stand up. His knee buckled, and he sat back down. He looked up at the empty hilltop, now strewn with unrecognizable chunks of wood and plaster. A large pane of broken glass was stuck in the ground, pointing angry shards up at the sky. It had caught the moonlight, and glimmered ghost-like in the early night. It was strangely beautiful.

"Teddy?" Uncle Harry sat down beside him and put an arm over his shoulders. "We can stay if you need to. Ron was getting everything under control when I got away. I'm sorry it took so long. They realized I was trying to get past the Apparition border and kept getting in the way. Your friends got them off me, finally. Luckily, Ruth Scrimgeour is bad at following orders, and Donzo McCormack figured out what they were up to."

"Good," Teddy whispered. "That's good."

"I'm sorry it came here, Teddy."

"I brought him," Teddy said. "It's my fault. I brought him here. And I killed him here. Victoire stabbed him in the face first. I sent her to Shell Cottage."

"That was just the right thing to do," Uncle Harry said. He eyed Teddy carefully, then sent his Patronus off toward Hogwarts. "I'm sorry it ended it this way. I wish we'd been able to get our hands on him before now."

"I killed him," Teddy said again.

"I know. That's why I'm sorry. I wish I'd done it. I wish I could have spared you that."

"Does that mean part of my soul is dead? Torn up? Didn't you say that was how Voldemort broke himself up?"

Uncle Harry put his arms around Teddy and held him very tightly. "You were in a fight. It went the way it went. Greyback kept pushing. And of the two of you, I'm glad it's you that came out safe."

Something flashed, and a white terrier fell out of the sky. Ron Weasley's voice said, "The pack's under control. Vivian's stable. Sending Madam Pomfrey to you."

"Vivian's alive?" Teddy asked.

"Yes. Greyback hurt her when he threw her, and the tree got her in the head, but she was alive. Sounds like she's going to be all right." Uncle Harry pointed his wand at the gate and undid whatever security spells were left after the destruction.

Teddy thought about what Greyback had said, about how she wouldn't have any use for polite schoolboys anymore, and wondered where "all right" came into it.

There was a pop, and then Madam Pomfrey was hurrying in. She looked at the remains of the Shrieking Shack with horror--Teddy remembered that she had brought Dad back and forth when he was in school--then shook her head and bent to Teddy. "What've you done to yourself now, Mr. Lupin?"

After that, there was a blank sort of time that seemed no more than one image after another. Madam Pomfrey healed Teddy's knee, and then they were back at Hogwarts, with quite a crowd. Bill Weasley came from somewhere, saying that he'd had to Apparate because the Shrieking Shack's Floo was secure. Victoire was all right. She was home with her mother, and would come back to take her exams next week. Teddy had done the right thing. Teddy tried to tell him that Victoire had been the one to keep her head while Greyback had him cornered, but nothing that came out of his mouth seemed to make sense. He wanted to go back to his room, but Madam Pomfrey made him go to the hospital wing, even though his injuries were healed. He protested that he had to go feed his cat, and the next thing he knew, Ruthless was there with Checkmate. Uncle Harry Conjured a bowl for her and set it on the table by the bed, Summoning the food, and Teddy watched her eat, stroking the tip of her tail absently. Ruthless held his other hand. Granny came in, looking frantic, and started doing diagnostic spells. Teddy wanted to tell her to stop, that he was fine, but he didn't seem to have any strength for it.

Finally, Uncle Harry brought him a goblet of hot chocolate, and he guessed it had been laced with a sleep potion, because he had drifted off to sleep long before he finished drinking it.

Uncle Harry stayed the night, and was there when Teddy woke up the next morning, bringing him a tray with breakfast, including a large bar of Honeyduke's chocolate.

"Eat that first," he said. "It'll help you feel better."

Teddy broke a piece of it off and nibbled on it. The world seemed more solid. "You should go home. James and Al and Lily probably miss you."

"I called them by Floo last night after you went to sleep," Uncle Harry said. "James told me that I absolutely had to stay with his Teddy. He wanted to come himself. I told him that if you want to, you and your Granny can come home with me tonight. Your teachers will let you come back for exams."

"Where's Granny?"

"Madam Pomfrey gave her a Sleeping Draught. She's sleeping over there." He pointed to a screened off bed. "Do you want to come home with me, Teddy? Would you feel better away from Hogwarts?"

Teddy shook his head, and pushed some eggs around on his plate. "I have homework. And I need the library for exams."

Uncle Harry nodded. "I thought you'd say that. It's probably good. Keep moving." He frowned. "Are you sure it's what you want? I know it's what I'd want, but Hermione thought--"

"Really, Uncle Harry, it's better." Teddy pushed his breakfast around a little more. "Is Vivian here?"

"No. She's at St. Mungo's for now. The Healers are putting her back together so she's strong enough for the transformation in a few days."

"Does she have to go to Azkaban?"

"I hope not. Not right away, at any rate, and Hermione is working as hard as she can to make sure it doesn't happen at all. For what it's worth, I think she'll succeed. Dennis Creevey wrote a piece about her for the Daily Prophet, and he says he's going to keep going until everyone's on her side."

Teddy nibbled a piece of toast. "Why did her wand explode during the fight?"

"Wands are complicated things," Uncle Harry said. "It never ceases to amaze me. Greyback thought that a wand whose core was hair from 'his' pack would bring him all of their power. But turning a wand against one of its parents? That's unpredictable. And I somehow doubt Mr. Ollivander warned him about the complexities while he was being forced to make it."

"So when her own werewolf hair was turned on her, it blew up?"

"Hers. Her friends' and allies'. Your dad's. The power was channeled in a dozen directions. Greyback might have suspected something at the last minute--he tried to stop her--but Mathilde didn't know what the wand was made from."

Teddy tried to care about this answer, but didn't quite make it. "What happened after Victoire and I got away? How did Greyback follow us?"

Uncle Harry sighed heavily and sat down. "Greyback was perfectly happy to let the others fight. They were mostly from the pack he'd allied with in Romania, though he still had a few of his own. He stayed behind the line in the battle, and as soon as all of us were involved in it, he dropped out of sight. There were about twenty of them. The whole strategy seemed to be covering for Greyback, keeping us away from him while he went after you.

"I ordered Scrimgeour and Donzo back to the castle after they got to you in the tree, but obviously, they didn't go. The other boy, the blond one--?"


"Roger, yes. He came back with Professor Sprout and Robards and Slughorn. We started to get on top of them, but then we realized Greyback had gone. They'd started a search when your Patronus got to me. I tried to break away, but they saw me. Donzo figured out what they were doing, and he and Scrimgeour jumped in. Scrimgeour's got a nasty Stunning Spell, once she decides to use magic instead of bashing in faces with her bat." He considered this, then shrugged. "Though that was pretty effective, too."

"She wants to be an Auror," Teddy said, then winced. "Oh, she didn't want me to tell you that. Forget I said it."

"Please make sure she gets the marks. I could use her." He smiled briefly, then his face became grave. "I left Ron in charge when I left. He got most of them subdued. Had to kill one, though. It happens. Maddie, as well."

"And me."

"And you. Just like Ron. Just like Maddie."

Teddy nodded, then frowned. "Why was Maddie here? I saw her coming..."

"The Unspeakables figured out how Mathilde was moving. How many times did I say we were protected on every side and from above?" He rolled his eyes. "No one defends from underneath, except around tunnels, because until Mathilde, the ground wasn't a viable way to travel. She found a way. Now that we know what she was doing, we can block against it if anyone else tries. A bit late, but at least we know."

Teddy thought about the day the werewolves had attacked him after his first date with Ruthless. They'd seemed to rise up out of the earth, coming from the long grass, and he'd never even thought about it. They'd have been seen if they'd been there before. He slammed his fist down on the bed. "I should have figured that out!"

"Teddy, you're fourteen. You're not responsible for figuring out a question that the Department of Mysteries floundered around on for months."

"But if I'd got to it sooner, then they wouldn't have been able to take Vivian, and they couldn't have--"

"Stop it. There's always a better way if you start thinking of it afterward. But you can't go back and redo it. There are a lot of things I'd do differently if I could. But we're stuck with what happened. And that was never your job."

Teddy nodded. It made sense. Perfect sense. But if only...

Granny woke up five minutes later, and spent the rest of the morning fretting over him. She not only didn't hate him for killing Greyback, she endorsed it wholeheartedly, and expressed a wish to bring him back to life so she could get a few licks in herself. "Don't you ever torture yourself over that monster," she said. "I don't want you taking it lightly, but dammit, Teddy, there's such a thing as taking guilt too far. If you think he'd have hesitated to kill you, think again. And then we'll have a nice, long trip to France to talk to the children your dad rescued from him."

By lunchtime, Teddy was feeling stronger, the previous night more of a strange, nightmarish memory. He asked if he could go to Potions. Madam Pomfrey seemed dubious, but Granny was fiercely in favor of it. She Summoned all of his school things for him, and sent him off.

Slughorn was surprised to see him, but conducted his class as always. After Potions, Teddy went to Divination, and sat with Donzo and Roger and Maurice and Corky. They were with Trelawney that day, and trying to scry in a crystal ball. None of them saw anything, and after a while, Roger cracked a joke about weather predictions and Jane Hunter, and Maurice laughed at it, and then they were all laughing, and even though Teddy still felt outside of himself, the day continued to move forward.

Uncle Harry went home for supper.

Teddy began to study for his exams.
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purebristles From: purebristles Date: December 14th, 2007 05:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I know it's not really the point of the chapter, but - a terrier? Oh Ron.

I'm glad to see that Vivian's alright - I was afraid you might have just offed her, especially since Neville's not canonically paired with her...

Great work as usual!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 06:08 am (UTC) (Link)
I didn't give Ron the terrier. :)

I wasn't entirely sure about Vivian all the way through, from the second JKR jossed her. I was going to kill her, then I was going to have her live, then she seemed to be in such trouble that it would make it easier for her to die, then I realized that was a dumb reason to kill a character, so she lived.
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willowbough From: willowbough Date: December 14th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Coping through Chocolate--another Lupin legacy. After what's happened, Teddy won't have an easy time getting back to normal, but at least all his extended family are there, trying to make it better for him. Awaiting the rest of the fall-out with interest!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
I personally love that in the Potterverse, chocolate has actual magical properties. Proof of female authorship, I think. ;p
lollapulizer From: lollapulizer Date: December 14th, 2007 06:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Lupins do love their chocolate!

I loved the whole detached feeling of the chapter. It's an interesting way for Teddy to deal with what he went through. I'm so used to Harry's anger from canon; it's a nice change.

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Eventually, Teddy will have to reintegrate it, but there's nothing wrong with putting some bandages between a psychological wound and the outside world until it's protected from infection a little bit.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 14th, 2007 06:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Victoire is staying home for a bit? I wonder if that means she won't miss the birth after all. My money will be on it being a girl (Sorry Artie)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 07:00 am (UTC) (Link)
I haven't decided yet. I'll flip a coin when the time comes. ;p
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summoner_lenne9 From: summoner_lenne9 Date: December 14th, 2007 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
And perhaps the greatest lesson of the Potter series, despite the Love Thing-

And life moves on.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 07:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Yup. It has to. The breaking of all the Time Turners means that you can't go back.

Though I wish she'd left one almighty big one around. Just to fix, you know, one tiny little problem of Teddy's.
jedi_chick From: jedi_chick Date: December 14th, 2007 06:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Teddy's distance from everything translates very well. I imagine the whole thing would really feel like some kind of nightmare.

I loved Andromeda's reaction to Greyback's death and Teddy's hand in it. Sometimes you just need a good dose of common sense.

I'm glad that Vivian survived, even if it's not going to be easy for her. But with Hermione and a Creevey brother on her side, she should have a good amount of help.

and kept getting the way. I think you're missing an "in". :~)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 07:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes you just need a good dose of common sense.
Yeah, though common sense isn't always easy for an idealist to take.

Got the "in."
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 14th, 2007 07:07 am (UTC) (Link)
"Is Vivian here?"

"No. She's at St. Mungo's for now, getting herSELF put together so she's strong enough for the transformation in a few days."

Unless by 'she' you meant Hermione or Madame Pomfrey, but it doesn't read that way to me.

Anyway, great segment as always. On the one hand, I can see that Teddy does need to get on with life, and Harry is letting him lead the conversations, while Andromeda is using impeccable (if perhaps somewhat Black?) logic to point out that Greyback was scum who needed finishing off and not to worry too much about it (although she said it far less vindictively than I just did, hmm) but I really hope Teddy is going to talk to someone who will just listen and help him get it all out. I wondered yesterday if, without care, this might be leading right back up to "Pointless".
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 14th, 2007 07:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Oops! Sorry this is double-posted. I tried to stop it partway through, because I forgot to sign it at all, but obviously it actually had gone through.

gloryforever From: gloryforever Date: December 14th, 2007 08:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Many, many thanks for not killing Vivian. I've had enough pointless deaths to last me a fandom.

I loved Teddy's dettachment from it all, it reads very realistically and like somebody else above it's another testament to how differently Harry and Teddy deal with things. Last but not least, go Andromeda for teaching this particular Lupin what to do with his guilt ;-)
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think with Andromeda around, Teddy's not going to get the luxury of going crazy.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 14th, 2007 08:25 am (UTC) (Link)


"Teddy remembered that she had b_r_ought Dad back and forth when he was in school"

"r" missing.
"No. She's at St. Mungo's for now, getting her_self_ put together so she's strong enough for the transformation in a few days."

If "her" is changed to "herself" it removes any ambiguity about who is doing what to whom in St Mungo's.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: typo

Thanks. The second one, I don't know where my brain had gone on vacation, as it says nothing like what I meant. And bought/brought--another of those lovely things spellcheck won't catch. Thanks.
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fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Apparently, Harry likes it, too. He wants to set her loose on other bad guys.
From: tree_and_leaf Date: December 14th, 2007 10:03 am (UTC) (Link)
The detachment seems very plausible to me - and Harry's turned into a really good uncle/ father!

I can't help thinking that it would do Teddy good to talk to Fr Alderman as well, though.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, there's a reason that the temporary title is what it is. :)
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nundu_art From: nundu_art Date: December 14th, 2007 11:34 am (UTC) (Link)
As several others have noted, Teddy's detachment and almost dream like response during the ensuing hours hit just the right note. That's a rather big thing to work through.

I kept wishing Harry would discuss how your soul heals itself when there is remorse. I know Teddy doesn't regret that Greyback is dead, just that he was the one to do it. He is feeling remorse for having to take that action. There is no tear to his soul.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'll have Harry say something along that line in the re-write. Just one of those things that slipped my mind more than Harry's. Of course, knowing Teddy, he'd then start feeling that he didn't feel enough remorse...
rdprice29 From: rdprice29 Date: December 14th, 2007 12:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah, Teddy.

*hugs him*
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
He could use it.
redlily From: redlily Date: December 14th, 2007 12:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
"I called them by Floo last night after you went to sleep," Uncle Harry said. "James told me that I absolutely had to stay with his Teddy."

That made me tear up unexpectedly. Of all the almost-families Teddy could have had, he probably got the best possible deal.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, yeah. Harry's a good dad-figure, and James will drown him in brother-love.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 14th, 2007 12:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lovely. I'm glad that Teddy got to kill Greyback. Justice for his family. Hope the poor kiddo doesn't take it too hard.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: December 14th, 2007 04:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
He'll get over it, but I think he'd be suspicious of himself if he got over it too soon.
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