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Anyone else prone to fits of "I have to change the way my living… - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
Anyone else prone to fits of "I have to change the way my living space looks"? At 1:30 in the morning?

I have too much blue in here, and I want some red. I have these stupid ruffly blue curtains that I want to lose--I mean, I want to roast marshmellows over the stupid things. I'd love to paint, but I have no idea how my landlady would take it. And I just generally have too much junk in my room (and my roommie is also a packrat and has been here longer, so there's no space left in the rest of the apartment to stash things). I'm sick of mini-blinds and furniture that I've given myself sore wrists putting together. (I thought the computer desk was bad--that hurt for a day--but then I did a dresser, and that was agony for three days. People with arthritic wrists should probably own power screwdrivers.)

I think this is generally called "burnout." I'm tired of the way work looks, as well--all brown carpets and cheap furniture, and old furniture donated from the children's room when they finished with it. (Our desk is a bright, playful blue.) I've got art up from the kids, which I love, but it's not enough to counteract the whole industrial, anonymous look of the place. We try. But it's brown granite and cheap wood and bilious brown carpeting and plastic chairs... there's only so much that can be done. And the ceiling is too low for the size of the room. Why can't we be in the pretty part of the building? Oh, yeah... and fluorescent lights. I hate the way they hum all day and I hate that flat, ugly light they give.

Of course, at home, the overhead incandescent isn't much better. Still flat. I should plug in my floor lamp and use that instead. I'm just paranoid about having too many things plugged in.

(And why so fixated on lighting lately? Sheesh. I complained about the lighting on board the Hogwarts Express in PoA! Did I subliminally swallow a book on the subject and have since forgotten?)

I'm way behind on things I need to be doing, and I can't seem to get motivated to do them. (All the blue at home and brown at work, I think. Gimme red, baby! I'm freezing! Green's good, too.)

And I just plain need to clean. Dust, vacuum, pick-up, the whole nine yards.

I think I'll go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond tomorrow and pick up one of those handy-dandy vacuum pack storage things to pack up a sleeping back that's taking up too much space. And maybe I should splurge for new curtains, though the ones I want will clash with my bedspread, thereby requiring a new one of those, so maybe I should wait...


I want my own place to spread out in. I'm a professional over the age of thirty. Why am I sharing a place? Bloody insane rents around here, coupled with a public employee's salary and student loans, that's why--nothing like requiring a Masters degree and then paying you less than an executive secretary would make. But I knew going in that librarians weren't exactly on the Fortune 500 list.

I always thought that by the time I was as old as I am, I'd have a husband, kids, a house, and a well-established career at least at mid-level. Oddly, these things seem to not just fall out of the sky. Who'd'a thunk? It could be because I don't apply myself much. Nah. Must just be an unfair old world, right?

I was on redecorating, right? Okay. Feng shui cures to the rescue. (I don't necessarily believe in the magic parts of feng shui, but I do like the aesthetic, and I don't think it's disputable that being comfortable in a place and feeling energized by it are psychologically healthy things.)

Gakked from everyone, sun sign mixed with house--http://www.spenecial.com/birdsofafeather/astrology.htm

(July 23 - August 22)
The Lion. Fixed, fire, yang - planetary ruler: the Sun. Keywords: "I WILL"
Leo is the fifth sign of the zodiac and rules the back, the spine, and the heart. Positive traits include creativity, charisma, generosity, warmth, enthusiasm, a natural talent for leadership, and a great deal of inner power; negative traits are haughtiness, snobbery, an expectation that one is the centre of attention and should be waited on by everyone else, profligacy, lack of realism, dominance that can lead to bullying, and a refusal to change one's mind even in the face of solid facts.

This is a natural sign for Gryffindors, not least because the griffin is part lion. Gryffindors born under this sign are outgoing, friendly, affectionate, and likeable. They make friends easily and are crushed when their advances are rejected. Their romantic, chivalrous nature makes them perfect examples of all that is best in their House. However, they are also bossy, domineering, spendthrift, and overly dramatic (ever heard the phrase "drama queen?") They have sharp tempers and need to learn to direct their anger toward only needful causes. The natural creativity and flamboyance of Leo makes Gryffindors born under this sign good at most everything they attempt, provided they apply themselves to learning magic rather than using magic to hog the limelight.

I feel a bit...: discontent discontent and burned out

5 comments or Leave a comment
ashavah From: ashavah Date: June 12th, 2004 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Anyone else prone to fits of "I have to change the way my living space looks"? At 1:30 in the morning?

Yes. Frequently.

Usually I wait, but occasionally I actually do make over my room in the wee hours ... always very quietly so as not to disturb anyone. ;-)
ashavah From: ashavah Date: June 12th, 2004 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
... Which reminds me that I was going to Feng Shui my college room.
liebchen127 From: liebchen127 Date: June 13th, 2004 12:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, frequently, too. Usually at times when I am fed up with the live I actually lead.
The last time it happened, I wanted to put the mess I usually call my desk in order. And what happened? I found lots of things that reminded me of past events... and I was in a very, very bad mood after that...

Sorry, this comment is not a very encouraging or positive one. But at least you know you are not alone with occasional feelings of burnout and desire for a change...

In my kitchen, I have corner of my wall full of postcards with aphorisms and witty comics I like. I've called this corner "Küchen-Psychologie" (i.e. kitchen-psychology, I hope in english language this is a pun, too; in german this means self-made psychology for one's own pleasure). My favourite is the picture of two crates with chicks in them. On the first crate you can read: "Chicks to love and pet". On the second one: "Shark-Feed". This picture is subtitled: "The important thing was to sit in the right (--> appropriate?)crate." I hope, this is funny in my translation, too. The original is written in german language.

Another aphorism I really like is this one (again, this is only my poor translation):

I don't know if it will be better, when it changes.
I only know that it must change to be better.

But now I have ranted enough. I hope you will feel better soon.
atropos87 From: atropos87 Date: June 13th, 2004 04:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Yep. I know that one. For me its about taking back a bit of control when I feel like I'm just being carried along by events. When it gets really bad I dye my hair too. As soon as I find myself in Boots looking at the hair dye I know it's time for some serious thinking about what's going on in the rest of my life.
belita013 From: belita013 Date: June 13th, 2004 05:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, yes I do have sudden fits of cleaning/organizing/rearranging my living space. Usually mine occur when I can't find what I'm looking for (and even sometimes when the room is clean), and in general, they occur when I'm thinking about my life and my future.

Is it possible for you to rearrange your furniture? I find that helps me when I'm in a frenzy about my room.
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