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Mini challenge call - The Phantom Librarian
Spewing out too many words since November 2003
Mini challenge call
I'll take the first fifteen requests--any fandom I write in (or you think I might know enough to write in).

ETA: Blah, have to go to bed, so I can go to work tomorrow. sgt_majorette has the eleventh request--room for four more after. I'll be spreading these over a couple of days, linking as I go.

  1. Teddy, James & Al make Harry wish he'd never had children (or agreed to have god-children.) They totally do it deliberately. for panaili
  2. Martian and Checkmate and the cairn. *g* for amamama
  3. Petunia and Harry after the battle? Maybe through in Teddy to lighten the mood. for lollapulizer
  4. Something with Andromeda Tonks, whatever time. Or, if you'd like, some Lily and James. :) for looking4shadows
  5. What happened to Cornelius Fudge after HBP, anyway? for usedbookmaster
  6. Take one or more of the following OCs from one of your fics and put them into another fandom (either as a crossover or as though they were part of that other fandom all along): Elizabeth Phelan, Sanjiv, Maddy and Daffie, the Smeltings teachers, the cubs, Bishapi. for severely_lupine (Cubs+L&O: SVU)
  7. Maybe when Romilda was plotting to give Harry the spiked chocolate cauldrons and she day dreams of what is going to happen when they work for starnightmuse
  8. Something with first generation Sirius, James and Lily! oH! the christening! for ~A
  9. Your take on how Ginny and Neville became friends! for *fierytoad8
  10. Somnething with Teddy and Neville pre-Hogwarts. for demonoflight
  11. In the epilogue nobody likes but me, "James runs off to find his friends". A bit of that, please? for sgt_majorette
  12. anything with post-Hogwarts Maurice? for mint_green
  13. Donzo & Teddy Up To No Good, please! Possibly later in life, when they should *know* better for xtineebee
  14. If not that, how about one of the Potter kids' Careers Advice sessions? for Daksian
  15. A Potter Grandchild (a grandchild of Harry's and Ginny's) perspective on their Uncle Teddy for kagehikario
120 comments or Leave a comment
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panaili From: panaili Date: March 17th, 2011 05:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Teddy Lupin (from your verse!) in danger. Dark h/c stuff.


Teddy, James & Al make Harry wish he'd never had children (or agreed to have god-children.) They totally do it deliberately.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 17th, 2011 05:55 am (UTC) (Link)
I think the first is more or less the plot of Daedalus Maze, such as it was... ;p

"You, too," Harry said, frowning at Teddy across the wreckage of the Ministry reception area. He already had James and Al by the shoulders. "Now."

"Uncle Harry, I think I'm--"

"Teddy, you're seventeen years old. By this time, you ought to know that babysitting does not mean 'sitting there while they dismantle Romilda's desk.'"

"He wasn't just sitting there," James offered. "He helped with all the screws."

Teddy had the decency to look embarrassed, at least.

Harry ground his teeth. "Start it repairing itself, then... in my office. NOW."

Teddy waved his wand, and the various pieces of the reception desk, which had been reorganized into a fort that looked like some from a western, started to fly apart and go back to their original shape. Harry didn't wait for it to finish. He led the boys to the lift. Teddy caught up; Harry could still hear the wood moving.

"I was going to put back before anything opened," Teddy said. "I'm of age, I don't have to do it by hand."

Harry got the lift started up to the Auror division, and led them all to his office without talking. He pointed a sofa, and they all sat down. Al looked frightened. James seemed rather proud of himself. Teddy looked sheepish.

"What," Harry asked, "did you do with all of the confidential papers in Romilda's files?"

"She had everything magically sealed," Al said. "We didn't see anything, really."

"We just made them part of the wall," James said.

Harry looked at Teddy, who seemed surprised and said, "What? I didn't look, either." He pressed his lips together, then went on, "I just imagined that, since no one was here, and they were bored--"

"They were."


James chimed in. "Right! And we had a grand game going. You always say games are good. And Al told Teddy about when you made the dining room table into a cave at home--"

"With a monster!" Al said.

"--so we thought the desk would be a good fort."

"And we were going to put it back before you finished your meeting."

Harry ground his teeth. "The Ministry isn't your house."

"But we were going to put it back!" James protested again.

The flames in the fireplace went green, and Ginny's head appeared in the cinders. She looked remarkably like Molly at the moment.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Would you mind putting my dining room table back? Your daughter has decided to move into the cave and marry the monster..."
amamama From: amamama Date: March 17th, 2011 05:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Martian and Checkmate and the cairn. *g*
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 17th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC) (Link)
In the kingdom of the cats, Sir Martian Seamonster was the most highly esteemed of knights. The Queen of Cats, Beau Chaton, sent him on many dangerous missions. He discovered a treasure beneath her garden, and freed the beautiful princess Naomi from moles. He found the queen's lost charm, and restored her beautiful purr. But most importantly, he protected all the kittens in the realm from harm.

At least until they started disappearing.

The queen's chief mage, the beautiful Lady Checkmate, looked deep into her crystal ball, and saw the kittens disappearing into a dark, silent hill. "I shall go with you, Sir Martian," she said.

"It will be dangerous."

Lady Checkmate raised her paw to show her dagger-like claws. "I can take care of myself."

So together, they set out into the woods. They crossed rivers and mountains, plains and fields of flowers. Finally, they came to a lone dark hill, standing in a ring of trees.

"This is the place of my vision," Lady Checkmate said. "The kittens have all been drawn here... but I don't know what's called them!"

"Then we must be careful," Sir Martian said. "There's dark magic here."

They looked at one another wisely, then slowly... SLOWLY... crept up the side of the hill. Sir Martian cocked his head halfway up. "My Lady," he whispered, "listen."

"To what?"

"There's music... it's coming from inside the hill!"

Lady Checkmate flattened herself onto the ground to hear, then raised her head. "You're right. There's something in there, some...

The ground gave way, and the two cats tumbled into darkness.
lollapulizer From: lollapulizer Date: March 17th, 2011 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear, I've been going through all your previous challenge calls and now I'm stuck on what to request.

Let's see...

Petunia and Harry after the battle? Maybe through in Teddy to lighten the mood. Or Dudley to mediate?
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 17th, 2011 06:37 am (UTC) (Link)
"You're going to drop that child on its head," Aunt Petunia said, snatching Teddy away with efficiency and setting him in Dudley's old bouncer seat, which had been carefully preserved in the attic until the Death Eaters had vented their frustrations. She hadn't allowed any wizards to fix the magical damage, and it was now warped, scorched, and oddly wavy. Teddy was delighted with it.

Harry did a quick check to make sure there was no lingering dark magic, then said, "I do know how to carry him."

"He was nearly upside down."

"He likes that. It makes him laugh."

Aunt Petunia looked horrified at this piece of intelligence, but collected herself and shook it off. "What is it that you're looking for? I thought you had most of your things with you when you left."

Harry thought about it. "I don't honestly know. I just thought I'd have a look around and see if I forgot anything. Dudley said it would be all right."

"Of course it is," Aunt Petunia said testily. "But you might want to finish before Uncle Vernon comes home."

"That's why I didn't wait for Dudley."

"Hmm." Aunt Petunia sat down primly on the edge of Harry's old bed. She didn't have any particular reason to be here, and was saying nothing at all to Harry, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. She looked at his small pile of old clothes. "Surely, you're not going to bring clothes you've outgrown. Haven't you a job in this world of yours?"

"Yes, I do. I'm an Auror--sort of a detective."

"I know what Aurors are. I spent the last year in their company. Besides, Lily wanted to be an Auror."

Harry looked up at her, pleased. "Really?"

"Yes, of course. That was my sister. Rush in where angels fear to tread, and then wonder why she stubbed her toes. She always wanted to be James Bond." Aunt Petunia rolled her eyes. "When we were children, I don't know how many times I came home to find her pretending to invent things and steal secret plans, like the telephone bill. She once hid my maths homework and forgot where she put it, because it was meant to be the plan for a bomb."

Harry was surprised by a laugh. Laughter hadn't been cheap lately. "A bomb."

"A bomb, or perhaps a great robot. I was never clear on it. She returned it to headquarters, but she forgot which of Mum's bureau drawers it had got into."

Teddy, catching Harry's laugh, giggled and reached up his arms. Harry went to get him, but Aunt Petunia was there first, picking him up smartly. He squeezed her nose. "His nappy needs changing," she said, feeling the weight of his bottom. "Oh, and if you'd like, you may have Dudley's old television..."
looking4shadows From: looking4shadows Date: March 17th, 2011 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Something with Andromeda Tonks, whatever time. Or, if you'd like, some Lily and James. :)

Thank you very much!
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 18th, 2011 04:23 am (UTC) (Link)
"James," Andromeda said, signaling to him. "Get in here."

Slowly, James Potter walked into Andromeda's examining room, and looked at his bruised and pregnant wife. His hazel eyes were wide, and his face was dirty. "Are they all right?"

"We're fine," Lily snapped.

Andromeda ground her teeth. "This time, you're fine. This time, your baby is fine. But James, I do not want to see her in here again before the child is born."

"I can handle myself," Lily said.

"You are off balance, shot through with hormones, and, might I remind you, responsible for the life of someone who can't handle himself. Or herself. And you can't leave him with a sitter for the night quite yet." Andromeda Summoned over her desk chair, and Conjured a second one for James. She thought carefully before she spoke. "Lily," she said, "I need you to listen to me. I know what you're feeling. You're feeling sidelined and useless."

"That's ridiculous!" James said.

"No, it isn't," Andromeda told him. "She is sidelined. She can't even safely brew potions more complicated than nutritional supplements, and I'd best not hear that she's been so much as handling some ingredients."

Lily scowled and turned away.

Andromeda talked to James. "It doesn't help when you say it's ridiculous or that she oughtn't feel that way. I promise, she'll continue to feel it. I did, while I was waiting for Dora, and I was nowhere near as centrally placed in this fight before I got pregnant."

"It's crazy," Lily said. "By now, oughtn't this not be an issue? Oughtn't we have ways to stay useful for the better part of a year?"

"D'you think I wouldn't take a turn for you if I could?" James asked. "Really, Lil, I'm jealous."

"Right, because I get all the rest while you and Sirius and Remus and Peter are out on the front lines."

"No. Because you get to spend more time with him. Or her."

Lily snorted.

James looked helplessly at Andromeda.

She rubbed her forehead, then said, "You know, James, perhaps it's better if you left after all. Just for a moment."

He looked mutinous, but like most very young fathers Andromeda had known (mainly, Ted), he mostly looked scared and willing to take instructions from Authority. He left.

Andromeda pulled herself up on the table beside Lily. "There are ways to prevent this, and you didn't use them. If this is what you were afraid of, why not?"

Lily looked at the corner and didn't answer.

"There would have been time--"

"No, there wouldn't! Everyone says that, but why would there be? Sirius is always saying he'll settle down after the war, and Remus is going to work on curing lycanthropy after the war, and Peter is going to do Auror training after the war, but what if there isn't an after the war?" Lily bit her lip. Andromeda thought she might cry, but she didn't. "Look, I know I made a choice. And I wouldn't make a different one. But I don't want to be one of those women who sits about and lets men protect them. I don't want James out there risking his life while I'm safe."

Andromeda waited a moment before answering, then said, "Lily, I'm going to say something unpopular. There's a hard truth in the world. The hardest truth. There are times--like this--when your job is to take care of the baby, and his job is to take care of you."


"Regressive, horrible, unfair, weak-feeling, and true." Andromeda sighed. "I'm not saying you should clear you pretty head of anything about the war. That's not going to happen, and you'll only worry more. But stay behind the lines. Analyze intelligence. Keep the communications lines open. Concoct the entire war strategy if you think you have a good plan. But stay off the front lines, at least until James really can take a turn at looking after the baby. Are we clear?"

Lily glared into the corner, then nodded.

Andromeda called James back in.
usedbookmaster From: usedbookmaster Date: March 17th, 2011 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)
What happened to Cornelius Fudge after HBP, anyway?
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 18th, 2011 04:56 am (UTC) (Link)
"You could just let me retire," Cornelius said, grimacing at Rufus Scrimgeour.

"I could, but I won't," Rufus said. "I could also send you to Azkaban for treason, but I won't do that, either."

"I really didn't believe."

"I know. And that's the real reason you're not up in front of the Wizengamot right now, Cornelius. If I thought you'd done what you did while you knew better, I might not trouble the Wizengamot, to tell the truth." He shook his head. "But I know you didn't know. You kept me in your councils, and I know what you were thinking. I wasn't sure you were wrong. So, we'll leave it at being wrong, and call it done."

"So let me retire. Let me go to my grandchildren. My daughter lives in Somerset. Why send me halfway across the old Empire? Is Montserrat truly in need of a governmental adviser?"

"Montserrat is the seat, you'll also be advising in--"

"I know. Anguilla, Caicos, and the rest. Really, Rufus, is it necessary..."

Rufus lost patience and stood up, towering over Cornelius Fudge. "I don't care where you go, Cornelius. I don't care if you just play on the beach all day. But I want you out of the country. I don't fancy spending time trying to protect you from everyone you stepped on last year when I really should be doing other things. And I don't want you interfering."

"I wouldn't--"

"Yes, you would. I know you. You've a Ministry financed holiday in the sunshine. I strongly suggest you take it."

Cornelius sat down. "Fine."

Rufus looked at him warily, then sat down across from him. "Now, about Dolores Umbridge. She's refused her own holiday, though I suppose I overstretched with the South Sandwich Islands. I need to know--was she misled, as you were, or is she likely to cross over to the Death Eaters?"

"Dolores?" Cornelius laughed. "No, no. Dolores is loyal to me, I'm afraid, somewhat to a fault. She's no Death Eater."

"You're sure? There were reports from the school of some rather Dark items in her possession..."

"She's enthusiastic," Cornelius said. "She'll give you no trouble..."
Most Unusual - (Anonymous) - Expand
From: severely_lupine Date: March 17th, 2011 05:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Take one or more of the following OCs from one of your fics and put them into another fandom (either as a crossover or as though they were part of that other fandom all along): Elizabeth Phelan, Sanjiv, Maddy and Daffie, the Smeltings teachers, the cubs, Bishapi. (Okay, I know only one of those was from something other than HP, but I haven't read many of your non-HP fics.) Though don't let that stop you from using any canon characters you may want to include, even in an also crossovery way.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 18th, 2011 05:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Cragen closed his office door firmly as soon as everyone was inside. So far, Stabler had managed not to bash in the head of the younger blond man, but it was looking like close thing. Benson was eying the priest with grave suspicions. The two women--one of them horribly disfigured, the other a knockout who should have had her picture taken for a magazine cover instead of a mug shot--were talking quickly over each other.

"You don't understand anything," the disfigured one said.

Benson turned on her. "Yeah? Clear it up for us."

"We were trying to help that boy!"

"Right!" the other one said. "We got there first thing, but it was too late!"

"Vivian," the priest said. "And Evvy, please. The police are trying to do their jobs."

The younger blond man wrenched his arm away from Stabler and said, "They don't care what's happening, and they wouldn't be able to do anything if they did."

Cragen opened the door and closed it again for the noise, and said, "I already have you on interfering with a police investigation. You tampered with the body."

The blond man rolled his eyes. "His Sanctimoniousness over there just had to give him Last Rites."

Cragen sat down. "And just how did you happen to come across the body before anyone else? And not call the police first?"

"Well, we'd been tracking--" the disfigured girl--Vivian, Cragen thought--started, then frowned. "What I mean to say is that we knew about the other murders..."

"So you decided to take him on on your own?" Stabler asked. "That's a good one."

"I've been looking at your passports," Benson said. "I checked with Customs. You came in three days ago. All of you."

"Like she said," the blond man said, "we were tracking him."

Cragen cut in. "Let me get this straight, Mr--"

"Blondin," Benson said, tossing Cragen a passport. "Nathan Blondin. The others are Vivian Waters, Evelyn Blondin, and Father Robert Alderman."

"Mr. Blondin. You were tracking a serial killer, you knew where he'd kill someone, and not only did you not call us, but you got there late."

"We couldn't risk you going there last night," Father Alderman said. "You wouldn't have stood a chance."

"Right," Stabler said. "So you brought along a few friends from home..."

"...got quite a party going..." Benson put in.

"...and wouldn't you know it, at the end of it, another boy is dead." Stabler looked at the passports. "You travel a lot, Father. If I go through these, am I going to find dead kids in every place you've stopped?"

"In all likelihood," Alderman said.

Benson rolled her eyes. "I love it when they make it easy."

"Yeah, well I don't," Stable said. "There are a lot of good priests who are going to get a lot of flack over this."

"I didn't say I killed anyone," Alderman said, holding back Nathan Blondin. "I said there would be dead children. My mission is to try and stop the killing--not unlike your mission, Detective Stabler. If I were to investigate your movements, I expect I'd find a good number of bodies nearby as well."

Vivian nodded. "Yes, and you'll also noticed that there are considerably fewer bodies after we leave." She stopped. "That didn't come out right. I mean, we don't escalate killings. We slow them down."

"Stop them, some places," Evelyn said.

Cragen tapped his pen on his desk. "Even if what you say is true, you're talking vigilantism. You can't just go out and capture murderers. That's what we're here for."

"And we're quite happy to let you capture them," Evelyn said, "though I don't think you'll hold them as well as you think you will. We try to get their victims away from them. And Alderman tries to keep other... people... from being murderers, too."

"Right," Benson said, "I've heard it's catching."

"Are you people stupid?" Vivian demanded. "Look at me! Look at my face! And look at the face of the boy your doctor is cutting into downstairs. Do you really think I'd help someone who would do such a thing?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Benson said, but less belligerently.

Vivian shook her head. "At least tell your doctor to be careful not to cut her hand on his teeth."

With that, she was silent.

Cragen felt a headache coming on.
starnightmuse From: starnightmuse Date: March 17th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC) (Link)


okay, okay I know what i want....

I really, really loved that Romilda Day Dreaming one you did (dont know if it was for me or someone else)

so can I have more of that?
Maybe when Romilda was plotting to give Harry the spiked chocolate cauldrons and she day dreams of what is going to happen when they work

thanks Fern!
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 18th, 2011 12:01 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: OOH!

Ooh, good choice! What I especially like about that fic is the implied Romilda/Hermione action, when Romilda is bored of compliant boys or something like that ... I don't think anyone commented on that before (at least last time I read it they hadn't), makes me chuckle everytime I read it :)
Re: OOH! - (Anonymous) - Expand
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 17th, 2011 06:09 am (UTC) (Link)

More Sirius!

Something with first generation Sirius, James and Lily!

oH! the christening!

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 20th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: More Sirius!

Sirius didn't think that Lily's childhood church was the best place to do this.

It wasn't that he minded a Muggle church, per se--wizarding chapels were getting few and far between, and most religious wizards went to mixed congregations (the Death Eaters, of course, wouldn't, but then Sirius thought they might just be afraid of being struck by lightning if they tried). And while he thought the CoE was a little stuffy, that was what Lily had grown up with.

No, the problem was that Lily's old neighborhood was also Snivelly's old neighborhood, and if he wasn't a Death Eater, given the company he kept, he was surely an informer. Given that he felt personally betrayed by Lily, Sirius wouldn't put it past him--in fact, he rather expected him--to disrupt the christening, probably in a way that would leave the poor old building in ruins.

But James had sided with Lily. He could have chosen the church in Godric's Hollow where he'd grown up, but that would have been beyond insane--that would have been putting out a calling card. But instead of choosing a neutral location where Death Eaters would never think to look for the Potters and their new baby, they'd chosen this street, this land of industrial red brick and power lines over the streets, a place where Sirius swore he could still smell the decaying remains of the textile mills... a place where people knew them, where Lily had been seen weeping over her father's coffin less than a year ago.

There was a tap on on his shoulder, and he turned to find Remus, who'd managed to pull himself away from whatever he was doing for Dumbledore--or whatever he'd been doing in general, Sirius thought--long enough to come here. "They're ready," he said.

"Has Lily's sister shown yet?"

Remus shook his head and Sirius gritted his teeth. Lily had attended her nephew's christening in Surrey only a month ago--very pregnant, and very visible to people who oughtn't have seen her. She and James had done this in utter defiance of Voldemort's threat, should they show their faces, and it had carried a great risk. Petunia had seemed dazed to see her, but her husband had told her to get out. It wasn't surprising that they hadn't come (among other things, Lily said Petunia refused to admit having grown up anywhere near this neighborhood), but Sirius knew that Lily would be terribly disappointed.

He shook his head and went into the church, leaving Remus to guard the street.

Inside, the huge sanctuary was nearly empty. Lily and James stood at the front of the church by the baptismal font with the vicar, and a handful of regular churchgoers--most white-haired--looked on from the front pews. Dumbledore was dressed in a powder blue Muggle suit and had his beard and hair tied neatly, but he was still getting odd looks from people and Peter was watching the windows nervously. Other than that, the church was empty.

Sirius joined Lily and James. The baby was awake and goggling up at him with great interest. The ceremony was brief and simple, and Sirius found that being named godfather was more moving than he'd expected--by the end of it, he felt quite compelled to teach Harry many things.

After services, they retired to a large, threadbare room that smelled like stale coffee and was stocked with biscuits on silver-colored plastic trays. Sirius took a few of these and a cup of tea (James promised a proper party later), and went to sit down beside Lily. She was looking rapturously at the baby, smoothing his hair with one finger.

"It's a lost cause," Sirius said. "You're never going to get that hair to behave."

"I love it just as it is," Lily said. "I'm so glad we came today."

"Sorry your sister didn't make it."

Lily sighed. "Tunie has her own way of seeing things. I hope she'll come round. I know you were against being here."

"Pointlessly," Sirius said. "Nothing happened. You were right."

"You were right to worry. You-know-who has been pretty clear about what he'd do if he saw us out and about. Call it yet another little defiance."
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 17th, 2011 06:10 am (UTC) (Link)

Neville- friendship?

Your take on how Ginny and Neville became friends!

fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 21st, 2011 03:49 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Neville- friendship?

"You're not having much fun, are you?" Neville asked, handing Ginny a glass of punch.

"I am! Really, I am." Ginny winced at how over-eager her voice sounded. Neville would pick up on that. "It's just that my feet hurt a bit, from all the dancing."

"Being stepped on probably doesn't help."


"Don't worry. I did notice that I did that. I'm sorry."

Ginny shrugged. "It's all right. We don't have to dance. I'm having a good time, anyway. Got to wear my pretty robes." She preened.

Neville smiled. "Well, they are fetching." He sat down beside her, and they watched the others dancing for a while.

"I have to admit," Ginny said, "this is one of the first times I've ever been glad to be the only girl. Fred's in Bill's hand-me-down, and George is in Percy's. Poor Ron is stuck with Uncle Bilius's dress robes, which I think might have been Mum's grandfather's or some such thing first. But Mum didn't have anything other than her wedding robes, which were too big, so they had to get me new ones."

Neville blinked, and for a minute, Ginny thought she'd picked the wrong thing to say. Some people got a bit uncomfortable talking about gold problems. But after a second, he grinned and said, "Good strategy, that. I'm wearing my dad's. Gran said he always looked dashing in them. I don't feel very dashing, except for an occasional need to dash off the dance floor."

Ginny laughed. "I'm glad you asked me, Neville. I really wanted to come, and I think we're having a lot more fun than they are." She pointed at the table where Ron and Harry were sitting, glaring morosely out at the dance floor, where Hermione was cheerfully dancing with Viktor Krum. The Patil sisters didn't look entirely happy, either.

"Having more fun than that," Neville said, "isn't a really big accomplishment."

"Why did you ask?"

"I wanted to come. I thought it would be nice to come with someone--"

"And Hermione said no."

"And Hermione said no," Neville agreed. "But just after, I heard you saying that you wished you could go, and I thought--"

"That you'd save me?" Ginny asked, grinning.

"No." Neville gave her a sheepish look. "I, er, thought you'd probably not say no. Not that I'm, er..."

Ginny laughed. "I know what you mean, Neville. I said yes because I was afraid no one else would ask me."

"Did anyone else."

"Ron told me I ought to go with Harry, but I already had a date, thank you very much."

"Oh. I would have understood if..."

"What you think I want to be in that mess?" Ginny pointed at the boys again. "Thank you for saving me."

"Well, I'd hardly have been a gentleman to abandon you to that fate."

Ginny smiled. "You know, you're funny when you're not around them. Why don't you act this all the time? It's good."


"Never mind. I like being here with Secret-Identity Neville."

He laughed. "Right."

"No, really. I know that you're quiet all the time around them, but I think, really, you're a secret agent for the queen. Licensed to hex."

Neville laughed even harder. "Of course, yes. And that whole bit of not doing all that well in Charms class, it's an act."

"I knew it."

They both laughed at this for a minute, then Neville said, "All right, if I'm secretly a spy, what's your secret?"

"I'm a famous Quidditch player," Ginny said. "That's why I haven't spoken to Viktor Krum much. He'd recognize me as the only Seeker who ever outflew him. I mean, my disguise isn't that good, is it?"

"Of course not. Why, thinking about it, I'm sure I saw you at nationals..."
demonoflight From: demonoflight Date: March 17th, 2011 06:22 am (UTC) (Link)
Somnething with Teddy and Neville pre-Hogwarts.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 21st, 2011 06:04 am (UTC) (Link)
One gigantic leaf moved behind the sofa, and Neville saw a pair of bright eyes peeking out from the green shadows. He smiled and said, "Am I being stalked by the powerful wizard who caused all of this chaos?"

The green shadow giggled, and a moment later, Teddy Lupin climbed over the top of the sofa. His hair was green and his face mottled to match the jungle-shadows that were currently dominating his grandmother's conservatory. Neville marveled, as always, at this--the idea that the boy could, by instinct, do something so complex that full-grown wizards couldn't deliberately create the effect. Of course, Andromeda said that, by the time he was older and knew himself better, some of this instinct morphing would stop, but for now, Neville found it fascinating.

As was this bizarre bit of accidental magic. "You know I have to sort this out, don't you?" he asked.

Teddy put his fingers to his lips and said, "Shh. It's a jungle."

"Yes, I can see that."

"There's monsters!"

"Ah." Neville examined one of the large vines that had looped itself through Andromeda's railing. It appeared to be part of a geranium. This was actually going to be rather tricky to undo, especially as long as Teddy was enjoying his bit of mischief. "You know," he said, "this really is impressive."

Teddy smiled and grinned, pleased with himself.

"But you should be careful with plants. They're alive, you know. It's like doing a spell on Bludger or Quaffle." He pointed at the family cats.

Teddy looked crushed. "Granny says I mustn't ever!" He grabbed fat old Bludger (who gave a surprised meow, but allowed it) and hugged him tightly.

"Well, she's right, but it's done no real harm. You just have to be very careful with living things. They trust you to take care of them."

Teddy's grin broke, and suddenly he started crying--deep, braying, heartfelt sobs that soaked into Bludger's coat. "I didn't mean to hurt them!"

Neville felt about the size of one of Luna's invisible creatures. He sat down beside Teddy and pulled him onto his lap. "It's all right, Teddy, you didn't hurt them. You need to be careful, but the plants will be all right."

"I don't want them made dead."

"Of course not. And they won't be." Neville patted the boy's back, bewildered. He'd meant Teddy to take a bit less pleasure in it, yes--it was good to teach children that plants were alive and not meant to be tortured--but he hadn't intended this. "We'll get this fixed up in trice, you'll see. Come, will you help me?"


"Sure." Neville cast around for something Teddy could do. "I know. Could you--oh, so carefully--help me steady my wand?" He held out his wand, and let Teddy firmly grip his wrist. "Now, are you ready?" Teddy nodded somberly. Neville did a reversal spell on the geranium vines. They retreated nicely, though they lost some leaves in the process. "Very good, Teddy!" he said. "Now, gather up those leaves quickly. We'll put them in the soil so they can"--he stopped himself before saying feed the plant and instead said, "become part of the plant again."

Teddy nodded and went studiously about his assigned task.

Neville finished reversing the jungle spell, getting all of Andromeda's plants back where they belonged. He thought she might have lost a honking daffodil, but in all, it was a good day's work. He looked over and saw Teddy pacing back and forth at the conservatory door.

"Er... what are you doing now?"

Teddy turned smartly and said, "No one hurts the plants!" He gave a smart salute and went back to guard duty.

Neville just shook his head.
sgt_majorette From: sgt_majorette Date: March 17th, 2011 06:29 am (UTC) (Link)
In the epilogue nobody likes but me, "James runs off to find his friends". A bit of that, please?
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 21st, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey, I don't mind the epilogue, except for its deplorable lack of a scene explaining that Harry just had a horrible nightmare that Remus was dead.

Anyway, I covered most of that in The Clue in the Cauldron, but I could elaborate a little, maybe switch points of view.

Michael Prince--better known in his dormitory as Snout--had got to the station before any of the others, mostly because he hadn't needed to wait for his parents to go through any sentimental slop. His father was in Indonesia at the moment, collecting up Potions supplies for the apothecary, and his mother was a no-nonsense type who had sealed his trunk, given him a few brusque instructions, and dropped him off at the station while she ran off to her day's work as a janitorial supervisor at St. Mungo's. Nearly her entire staff had asked for the morning off to see their children to Hogwarts, and someone, she said, had to actually do the cleaning spells.

Michael didn't mind this. He rather liked being in the station alone. He found a safe spot for his trunk, then went back through the barrier and went to the Muggle vendors to get a snack, wandered up and down their platforms and imagined dreadfully interesting places for them to be going, and finally went back to Platform Nine and Three Quarters and watched the wizarding families arrive.

The first of his friends to arrive was Ahmed Elbaz, who James Potter had named Spots, mostly for the prodigious acne on his cheeks. Spots took no offense at this, and even signed his letters with it. He extracted himself from his gaggle of sisters (younger and older), and came over. "Any sign of Bear yet?"

Michael shook his head. "Just me and thee, so far." He blinked at a sign of motion in an alcove. "And James's cousin... or whatever Lupin is."

"Isn't he out of...oh. Isn't that Victoire Weasley he's er...?"

"Digesting?" Michael grinned. "Oh, this'll be fun. James's head is going to explode."

"Dibs on the Map," Spots said.

"Too late," Michael said. "Mini-Potter is coming this year, remember? I'm sure he'll get the Map when James melts down on the spot."

"Damn," Spots said. "There's Bear!" He waved wildly, and caught the attention of Silas Boyle, the huge Irish boy who had managed to knock a third year flat last year. He speculated, on no evidence, that he had giant blood somewhere.

Bear waved back and came over. "Starting to fill up, we should get a compartment." He frowned at Teddy and Victoire. "Is that...?" Michael nodded. Bear rolled his eyes. "Hope Pomfrey's at hand when James goes raving."

With that, he turned nonchalantly and headed off for the train. Spots and Michael drew Tarot cards to see who had to stay on the platform--Michael lost, and Spots ran off after Bear.

The steam rose, and it became hard to see anyone (though Michael swore he could still hear slurping).

Then, above the din, the rising cry of "TEDDY?"

Michael smiled and waited for the show.
mint_green From: mint_green Date: March 17th, 2011 06:48 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a feeling I'm really going to miss Maurice, so...

anything with post-Hogwarts Maurice?
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 21st, 2011 09:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Among wizarding performers, Maurice Burke was considered something of a power broker. Aside from Donzo and Kelly, he'd taken over management of four of the five major American groups, a harp quartet, three actors, and a handful of big-name Quidditch and Quodpot players. He could make one Floo call and arrange appearances on any number of Wizarding Wireless shows, or book signings, or personal appearances. Owners of concert venues would clear their calendars if one of his clients was free. (He'd learned early to phrase it this way--his clients were never looking for a place to perform; rather, they had just become free, and were willing to grace an owner's establishment for the proper fee.)

In the wizarding world, at the age of thirty, Maurice Burke was something of a commerce god.

In the Muggle world, he felt like the owner of a failing country store, with dusty souvenirs on the shelves and a single stockboy who never showed up for work.

Muggle entertainers, it turned out, had different people handling their money, their bookings, and even (to Don's bafflement) their clothing. They had people who shopped for them, and people who watched their children for them. One person arranged publicity appearances, another got the professional opportunities. Most had a third person whose exclusive job it was to get them mentioned in the press.

Except for the clothing, Maurice did all of this himself. (The clothing was of no interest whatsoever to him, which made him suspect in certain circles.) His stable of clients only needed him; he had no support staff except for his administrative assistant, Yong.

So when Don decided that it was time to break into the Muggle market--and Maurice quite agreed--it had been quite a sudden shock to his system to be moving in these particularly nasty waters. He hadn't quite got a grip on things, so, for the first time in his career, he delegated some of his regular work--Yong had wanted to learn the business, anyway--and hired himself out to a major Muggle music agency (he'd only needed a little magical help to get the interview) to learn the ropes. At first, it had been a little intimidating, but now, it had got to be exhilarating. Today, he was working with Thom Delgado, another junior agent who had taken him out for drinks with a few other blokes last night, trying to set up a meeting with network executives for a former child star who wanted to produce a comedy television program about his life.

"Got it!" Thom said, and tossed Maurice the phone. "We're getting transferred to Eldritch's assistant. She loves British accents, she'll think you sound sexy and set up whatever you want."

"Which accent?" Maurice asked.

"That one you usually have?"

"Downtown London is sexy," Maurice said dubiously, putting the phone to his ear and waiting to be connected.

"Well, I think it is, and more importantly, so does Deborah."

Maurice shook his head. "All right--as long as you don't turn on the video."

"That's true," Tom said, winking. "She'll be no good to anyone panting on the floor."

Maurice's jaw dropped.

Thom shrugged. "She'll try to call you Mau-REECE."

"Everyone here does. I ignore it."

"Well, if you'd spell it Morris, you wouldn't have to worry. Correct her. She'll just about faint when she hears you say it right. Oh, and say SHED-yool, too."

There was a click, and Maurice found himself connected to a breathy sounding girl who said, "Is this Maurice?

"It's MAU-ris," Maurice said.

"Oh, it is? Oh, that's much nicer..."

"I wanted to talk to you about fitting a client of mine into your boss's schedule..."
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xtineebee From: xtineebee Date: March 17th, 2011 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Donzo & Teddy Up To No Good, please! Possibly later in life, when they should *know* better, and should be setting a proper example for the children.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 25th, 2011 04:49 am (UTC) (Link)
I kind of suck at pranks, but I'll give it a shot. ;p

"Is Maurice going to kill you for ruining the show?" Teddy asked, climbing down into the orchestra pit.

"Who do you think gave me the key to the venue?" Donzo jumped down the last few feet. "He doesn't like the way this idiot treated Shannon any better than I do. Gold only goes so far, even with Maurice."

Teddy nodded. "True. And this won't even hurt his prospects for long. Just a bit of embarrassment. It's fair."

"No. It's not. Fair would leave him crying all night long, like Shan did after that party. What would you do if that were Mira?"

Teddy tried to imagine his own oldest daughter crying all night over being duped by a faithless boy and left humiliated in the middle of a club full of photographers. The image wouldn't come. All of his daughters--with the possible exception of Polly--were more likely to start cursing, and the great prank would be breaking them out of prison. But Donzo's Shannon was different--not necessarily more softhearted (even Teddy's boys were steadfastly softhearted about many things), but certainly less prickly, and more prone to despair before vengeance.

So, someone had to do it.

The boy in question was one of Maurice's other clients. Carina loved his music, but Donzo called him a vapid idiot with all the range of a first year's hex. He'd been happy to have his picture taken with Shannon, have it plastered all over the fan magazines with headlines about being a "royal couple," but when he'd taken her to a club, he'd got quite intoxicated on one potion or another, announced to the reporters that he was done making nice, and proceeded to call Shannon several names, insult her looks and her prowess in matters better kept private, and then leave with an older woman who he said he'd been seeing all along.

And now, he thought he was going to sing the cheerful little songs about sweet first love that had made him famous.

Teddy and Donzo had other ideas.

They began in the orchestra. Teddy made the harp sound like a braying donkey while Donzo made the saxophones bleat like sheep. The lighting was an easy call--every time a spot hit the boy, it would cast the illusion of a hippogriff's hindquarters.

"Which isn't all that useful," Donzo said, "without the proper sound. Go up. Let me try it out."

Teddy flew up to the stage, turned human, then said, "Now what?"

"One moment," Donzo said, and turned on the light. "Perfect. Now, sing."

Teddy wasn't much for singing, but he managed a few bars of "Into the Gray." It sounded halfway decent to him, but Donzo was laughing. "What?"

Donzo raised his wand and said, "Playback."

From every corner of the auditorium, the sound of very loud flatulence rang out.

"Excellent," Teddy said. "But they'll catch it."

"Which is why I have more up my sleeve." Donzo began to hex the floorboards of the stage.
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 17th, 2011 07:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Hmmmm...how about Harry Potter's death? I've been curious how you've envisioned it in your universe. If not that, how about one of the Potter kids' Careers Advice sessions?

Daksian (just caught up reading, will comment on your epilogue, but for the moment, excellent work!)
From: (Anonymous) Date: March 18th, 2011 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, just another thought: if you do do Harry's death, can you also include a peek at him in the afterlife? Kings Cross part two perhaps. :D

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kagehikario From: kagehikario Date: March 17th, 2011 07:31 am (UTC) (Link)
A Potter Grandchild (a grandchild of Harry's and Ginny's) perspective on their Uncle Teddy.
fernwithy From: fernwithy Date: March 25th, 2011 05:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Finny Potter shouldn't have been surprised by the plot of land. All of Uncle Teddy and Aunt Victoire's children who wanted to stay on the island had got one. But Finny's older brother Rufus had announced his intention to move to the mainland before he came of age, so Finny hadn't had any idea that he would have an equal stake. After all, Dad had got the land around Hogboon Mound more or less as a present (Dad had insisted on paying, but Uncle Teddy would only take what he happened to have in his pocket), so it wasn't like the island was in the Potter family.

But on his seventeenth birthday, Uncle Teddy had asked him to come walking after the party. They passed the houses where his older children lived (though they were all still visiting Mum and Dad), right up to John's house, which was still being built. At the edge of this, Uncle Teddy said, "Well, the rest of the island is still open. It's a lot bigger than it looked on the map. We could have a proper town here. Which bit of land would you like?"


"I've given each of the children an acre, mostly up around my place, though they wanted to keep the garden and the playground. There are still a good ten acres of island left to grow on. I'm hoping that eventually, we'll go down to half-acre plots and start complaining about overcrowding." He smiled. "So... You always liked the tree on top of the hill over on the east shore." It really hadn't needed the clarification; there was only one transplanted tree on the island, so that would have been enough to identify the area. "Would you like that plot? It has a little well in it." He stopped. "You do want to stay on the island, don't you? Your brother said you did."

"What? Oh, yes, of course. I'm a... what are we anyway? We ought to have a name, and, well, 'Marauder' means something else and 'Rooster' doesn't quite work, does it?" Finny shrugged. "Whatever we are, I'm one of us. I want to stay." He frowned. "But you don't have to give it to me. I can pay."

Uncle Teddy rolled his eyes. "You sound like James. Look at this--what do I need with all of it? I didn't buy an island so I could sit on it in solitary splendor. I wanted to build something here. Something that will last. I want it to be something more than my private island."

Finny turned away, pretending to look at the land. He'd take a bit, and he believed in Uncle Teddy's dream of a real village here (though, to make it work, they'd really need to bring in people who weren't related). But a part of him suspected that it was all part of Uncle Teddy's constant battle with death and all of its works--by building something permanent, something in stone with the Marauders' mark on it (as well as Uncle Teddy's and Dad's), he was thumbing his nose at oblivion. He knew that was a place where Granddad and Uncle Teddy had a constant sort of tension, though they otherwise got along brilliantly.


Finny turned. "Right. Wow. Are you sure that you don't want Ray and Dora to choose first?"

"We've been going in age order so far, Finny."

"And my mum and dad are all right with you giving me land?"

"No, they're going to throw themselves off the cliffs in shame." Uncle Teddy gave another extravagant eyeroll. I wouldn't give you something like this without talking to them first. I gave them the same speech I gave you. They're fine with it. And I see you didn't open the card from them."

Finny knit his brow. "They told me to wait."

"Well, this is what you're waiting for. Summon it."

Forgetting everything else in the moment of remembering that he could now do magic at will, Finny raised his wand and summoned the card from his parents. He opened it. Inside was a note from Gringotts, with a good amount of gold mentioned in it. It wasn't a fortune, by any means, but it was... "Enough to build the house," he realized.

Uncle Teddy nodded. "Which brings us back to where you might want to build it."

Finny bit his lip, then said, "Well, I'd ask for the boat slip, but that ought to be public property, don't you think?"

"I agree."

"Maybe we could build a village hall there."

"So we could meet somewhere other than my house. I like it."

"Right. Well, then... are you still offering the hill with the tree?"
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